I’m not one to generally feel down..I have my moments..like today..because sheesh a lot of shit was taken away from me..none more important than my independence..I would’ve gladly given up my legs..literally cut them off.. if it meant I could use my arms and hands..When I think of this it always reminds me of what one of the clients of my physical therapist said once..he was a quadriplegic too..he said we are one of the very few to go to bed dreaming that we’d wake up a paraplegic ..He also used to say we can’t even kill ourselves! LOL
Sometimes my thoughts stray to what could have been..not hard to imagine what they are..my first threesome with twin sisters..joining the mile high club..stalking a hot newsreader..the usual stuff..
Seriously though..I just think of normal things..having a family..buying a house..a car..holidaying..And this gets me thinking about friends who have done this..and how I had the opportunity to do this actually before them..but no I had to play rugby.. Ahh if only I could grab that Mr95% and shake some sense into him..and tell him how it is..what’s really important in life..but that Mr95% is long dead..he died on Chatswood Oval..10.20 am on a Saturday.. He was a nice guy..he didn’t deserve what happened to him..but neither do kids who die from cancer..he was no more special than anybody else..
What is left is a broken body and a mind that fights to keep depression away..but I’m actually pretty lucky..well that’s what an Ambo (superb people) said to me when i had to go to hospital the other day..and yep I thought like you..lucky? Wtf? But he was looking at my level of injury..C4-5.. when he said it..and it clarified his comment..because, as he said, I’m lucky I’m not dead..
I thought for a moment..you know he was bloody well right ..while you are in the game you are in with a chance..and my chance is coming..
Fight the good fight Kennelers..it will be worth it