The "R U OK ?" Thread

[south of heaven]

Another thing that helped me that doctors were willing to put me on anything and everthing.they wanted me to take time of and made suggestions I should not work and go on a disability pension. Me being a stubborn **** who is to scared to even take a panadol said fukk that .I'll work and do it drug free .
(Previous attempt of antidepressants did me no favors )

 

[Rodzilla]

Just to exapnd on my situation, I have had depression for about 5 years now but it got worse when I lost my father 3 years ago. I just got married in Cancun and my dad got sick, we came home 3 weeks early to be with him but we missed him by a couple of hours. Then I copped an airborne virus which hit my heart. I now have 20% use of my heart and ever decreasing. Once it gets to about 5%, then I'm eligible for a heart transplant, which basically gives me a max of 10 years. My life expectancy has dropped 20-30 years and now have a immune system of a new born baby.

Because my heart isn't functioning properly, it causes many problems for me, the newest is I'm a insulin dependant diabetic.

But what kills me more is I lost my job because "I'm a risk" and have been looking for work and I can't land a fuking job.

Of course all this shit has added to my depression/anxiety/stress.

I have thought of ending it many times, I had a knife to my throat once but I guess the only thing stopping me are my two kids..

man that is deep stuff and this posts saddens me even though i dont know you i feel as if i do and i care about what happens to you

life can still bring you joy, even simple things like taking a walk on the beach with your family and watching your kids grow up should be a pleasure for you

 

[The DoggFather]

My biggest problem was holding down jobs due to time off. I now work for myself which seems to work for me cept when I'm a budging **** lol

What do you do for work bro?

 

[The DoggFather]

man that is deep stuff and this posts saddens me even though i dont know you i feel as if i do and i care about what happens to you

life can still bring you joy, even simple things like taking a walk on the beach with your family and watching your kids grow up should be a pleasure for you

That's the silver lining bro, actually watching my kids grow. Like someone said in some movie I forgot, "any day above ground is a good day" lol

 

[The DoggFather]

Sad to hear that Assassin. A shorter than normal life expectancy isn't a good thing but what is important is the what you pack into the life that you do have. None of us know when it's out time. Use the opportunities that you now have at home to bond with your kids, family and friends, because a lot of people miss out on that due to work commitments.

I know the demons put a black cloud over rational thoughts, and it's hard to see through the cloud at times, but every new day you spend with your kids and family is one they will pleased to have with you. Try and remain positive and keep the cloud in the past.

Thanks for your words bro, I know you are all techincally strangers, but you are all mates to me. Thanks everyone.

 

[Indiandog]

Just to exapnd on my situation, I have had depression for about 5 years now but it got worse when I lost my father 3 years ago. I just got married in Cancun and my dad got sick, we came home 3 weeks early to be with him but we missed him by a couple of hours. Then I copped an airborne virus which hit my heart. I now have 20% use of my heart and ever decreasing. Once it gets to about 5%, then I'm eligible for a heart transplant, which basically gives me a max of 10 years. My life expectancy has dropped 20-30 years and now have a immune system of a new born baby.

Because my heart isn't functioning properly, it causes many problems for me, the newest is I'm a insulin dependant diabetic.

But what kills me more is I lost my job because "I'm a risk" and have been looking for work and I can't land a fuking job.

Of course all this shit has added to my depression/anxiety/stress.

I have thought of ending it many times, I had a knife to my throat once but I guess the only thing stopping me are my two kids..

Gee wiz.... Its hard to predict from your posts on the forum that you are a real warrior bro. I really hope your heart fixes Itself and you dont have to go through any fckem heart transplant.
Try to stay happy, I know I can not imagine what u would be going through but human body is a strange thing. People have cured themselves from cancer and other terminal diseases just by having the right state of mind.
My aunty was given 6 months max to live when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, she lived for another 15 years and during that time lost her healthy son of 36 years of age due to sudden cardiac arrest who no one saw coming. I know its hard in your situation and may God help you but you got to stay positive bro, specially for your kids.

 

[The DoggFather]

You would make a great media critic!

Lol, I'd love that job!

 

[south of heaven]

What do you do for work bro?

Painter .me and the Mrs had a small coffee shop for 2 years and I got to know all the locals in the area and ended up getting back into it that way. Coffee shop to hard 7 days a week 12 hrs a day with 4 kids lol it did help me deal with people. Mind you I didn't take a backwards step to tell rude ***** to get fukked lol

 

[The DoggFather]

Gee wiz.... Its hard to predict from your posts on the forum that you are a real warrior bro. I really hope your heart fixes Itself and you dont have to go through any fckem heart transplant.
Try to stay happy, I know I can not imagine what u would be going through but human body is a strange thing. People have cured themselves from cancer and other terminal diseases just by having the right state of mind.
My aunty was given 6 months max to live when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, she lived for another 15 years and during that time lost her healthy son of 36 years of age due to sudden cardiac arrest who no one saw coming. I know its hard in your situation and may God help you but you got to stay positive bro, specially for your kids.

I will bro, i'm a stubborn ****, I want to prove the doctors wrong.

 

[The DoggFather]

Painter .me and the Mrs had a small coffee shop for 2 years and I got to know all the locals in the area and ended up getting back into it that way. Coffee shop to hard 7 days a week 12 hrs a day with 4 kids lol it did help me deal with people. Mind you I didn't take a backwards step to tell rude ***** to get fukked lol

Good on you brother, keep on keeping on.

 

[Indiandog]

I will bro, i'm a stubborn ****, I want to prove the doctors wrong.

I am sure you will.... I am still amazed on how a random virus could attack a heart so severely.

Are there any other patients like you... where the fck this virus comes from?

 

[south of heaven]

Good on you brother, keep on keeping on.

Have to mate bulldog no 5 is baking away. Lol .I really do try to do my best but fukk some days can throw you back.and it can be the stupidest of things that can trigger it

 

[Stoofy]

I honestly had no idea so many people are effected by these things.

If anything I will get help if I require it in the future. This thread has been a real eye opener for me.

 

[The DoggFather]

I am sure you will.... I am still amazed on how a random virus could attack a heart so severely.

Are there any other patients like you... where the fck this virus comes from?

Well the docs can't tell me much. All they can conclude is because I was stressed at the time it dropped my immune system which lead to the virus hitting my heart. If I wasn't stressed my immune syatem would of fought it easily.

My condition is pretty common, doc said it usually cripples you or kills you. He said my footy days actually saved me because I was fit as a bull before.

 

[The DoggFather]

Have to mate bulldog no 5 is baking away. Lol .I really do try to do my best but fukk some days can throw you back.and it can be the stupidest of things that can trigger it

You're telling me bro. I just got knocked back from another job yesterday and it set me off again.

 

[The DoggFather]

Have to mate bulldog no 5 is baking away. Lol .I really do try to do my best but fukk some days can throw you back.and it can be the stupidest of things that can trigger it

Yeah, my kids keep me going too. There is 2 major things I want to be around for, my boy making first grade with the Dogs and walking my daughter down the isle.

 

[Rodzilla]

You're telling me bro. I just got knocked back from another job yesterday and it set me off again.

why dont you legally change your name to adam goldstein or something

how about robert eidelberg

 

[Rodzilla]

Well the docs can't tell me much. All they can conclude is because I was stressed at the time it dropped my immune system which lead to the virus hitting my heart. If I wasn't stressed my immune syatem would of fought it easily.

My condition is pretty common, doc said it usually cripples you or kills you. He said my footy days actually saved me because I was fit as a bull before.

is it painful?

 

[BulldogsFAN]

i'll probably admit i have a slight depression as well, feeling a bit useless as university isn't working out so good for me, been getting ignored by "the one", and been applying for 100's of jobs only to be rejected and not returned to over several occasions. Not exactly sure what i'm doing wrong, considering most of my friends have gotten into the jobs that i want, it just seems really impossible for me, feeling a bit lost tbh but yeah definitely not on the extreme part of depression yet, as i don't see myself ending my life, but have had thoughts of it (not seriously tho)

and when opportunities do arise, i find myself missing out (out of my control) e.g. had an interview for a job that i wanted, left to go which was in parramatta coming from canterbury area, i'd need to take the m4 and excatly on that day a person had got run over by a truck in the james ruse exit (the one i needed to go to) which caused 14km of traffic, and bam an opportunity gone!

but i find the best way to fight it, is i guess go out and really just soak in how beautiful this world is (walking the dog/alone time etc) really gets your mind off things, but yeah hopefully i see the light at the end of the tunnel soon, right now don't feel so good :/

 

[Wolfmother]

I often wonder why im so drawn to this site now I know. Loving the care factor and sincerity of the people on here.
Assassin you are a legend for opening up.
It hit home when you mentioned feeling guilty about not grieving for your dad properly.
I lost my dad last year and the guilt has been eating me up because I feel so guilty that I didnt grieve like I expected I would/should .
I pretty much went through the motions but started functioning as normal after a few weeks.
My husband lost his mum when he was 13 to suicide which is more than 20 years ago and still grieves.
Maybe it hasnt fully hit me because I had work breathing down my neck for a return date and I suppose having a family ,I had to function ,but still can't help feeling these are just excuses.
Rodzilla and Raysie great explanation of your experiences , this has helped me understand that I might be having panic attacks too.
I just thought it was my thyroid . At random times I start to feel like I might faint and die , my heart races and my feet start to sweat at this point I have this impending and desperate feeling of getting away from where I am.
It's happened at work at Woolies and just talking to certain people.