The "R U OK ?" Thread

[south of heaven]

I'm exactly the same mate. When I get into situations like public speaking, I feel like I'm watching myself from outside my body and that 10,000 things are going through my head, to the point nothing that comes out of my mouth will make any sense. As a result if I'm forced to speak publicly, I ponder over it for an unrealistic amount of time beforehand and have to prepare for it a thousand times over no matter how small in the fear that I'll stuff up.

Lol that is exactly it .cant describe it any better than that

 

[Rodzilla]

raysie you should just face your fear, just go into the middle of the park and take a shit tbh

thats what they used to do in the 60's (1760's)

 

[south of heaven]

Yeah I got my bros wedding and my brother-in-laws weddingz coming up. Already packing shit. I think I have to polish off half a bottle of tequila just to stand in front of people let alone talk.

I told the Mrs we can have a wedding but I'll be at home can do it via video conferencing. I'm just way way to uncomfortable at those places

 

[Stoofy]

Yeah I got my bros wedding and my brother-in-laws weddingz coming up. Already packing shit. I think I have to polish off half a bottle of tequila just to stand in front of people let alone talk.

I wouldnt stress about it too much.

At my own wedding I obviously had to do a speech. I had a few drinks, wrote out a speech that I could read (my hand writing sucks) & fumbled my way through it. The crowd then helped me through it as I forgot to comment on my wife & bridesmaids.

People were laughing so I was happy enough. My wife then did her own speech & filled in all the parts I forgot.

 

[The DoggFather]

Just to exapnd on my situation, I have had depression for about 5 years now but it got worse when I lost my father 3 years ago. I just got married in Cancun and my dad got sick, we came home 3 weeks early to be with him but we missed him by a couple of hours. Then I copped an airborne virus which hit my heart. I now have 20% use of my heart and ever decreasing. Once it gets to about 5%, then I'm eligible for a heart transplant, which basically gives me a max of 10 years. My life expectancy has dropped 20-30 years and now have a immune system of a new born baby.

Because my heart isn't functioning properly, it causes many problems for me, the newest is I'm a insulin dependant diabetic.

But what kills me more is I lost my job because "I'm a risk" and have been looking for work and I can't land a fuking job.

Of course all this shit has added to my depression/anxiety/stress.

I have thought of ending it many times, I had a knife to my throat once but I guess the only thing stopping me are my two kids..

 

[Stoofy]

I told the Mrs we can have a wedding but I'll be at home can do it via video conferencing. I'm just way way to uncomfortable at those places

Elope bud with only a select few or none at all.

Come back & just do a BBQ. No speech no nothing!

 

[The DoggFather]

I wouldnt stress about it too much.

At my own wedding I obviously had to do a speech. I had a few drinks, wrote out a speech that I could read (my hand writing sucks) & fumbled my way through it. The crowd then helped me through it as I forgot to comment on my wife & bridesmaids.

People were laughing so I was happy enough. My wife then did her own speech & filled in all the parts I forgot.

My wedding was ok, it was in Cancun so we only had 30 people lol I think the c word got slipped in thete a few times lol

 

[Stoofy]

Just to exapnd on my situation, I have had depression for about 5 years now but it got worse when I lost my father 3 years ago. I just got married in Cancun and my dad got sick, we came home 3 weeks early to be with him but we missed him by a couple of hours. Then I copped an airborne virus which hit my heart. I now have 20% use of my heart and ever decreasing. Once it gets to about 5%, then I'm eligible for a heart transplant, which basically gives me a max of 10 years. My life expectancy has dropped 20-30 years and now have a immune system of a new born baby.

Because my heart isn't functioning properly, it causes many problems for me, the newest is I'm a insulin dependant diabetic.

But what kills me more is I lost my job because "I'm a risk" and have been looking for work and I can't land a fuking job.

Of course all this shit has added to my depression/anxiety/stress.

I have thought of ending it many times, I had a knife to my throat once but I guess the only thing stopping me are my two kids..

Now thats serious stuff. Hang in there for your kids bud!

What did you do for work prior to the heart condition? What are you looking for now?

 

[south of heaven]

I had no idea it can get that bad.

I wish you the best in defeating that crap!

So what has helped you the most thus far? Is it understanding what it is, medication, therapy, etc? Also do you still drink?

No mate sober alcoholic, here would never put the kids thru drunk me and I have not touched a drop since they came round. A greater understanding of what is wrong has helped me the desire to live the best life I can and knowing I can fight it

 

[Stoofy]

My wedding was ok, it was in Cancun so we only had 30 people lol I think the c word got slipped in thete a few times lol

Actually your wedding speech would have been awesome. I also believe SoH would do a great job, even he was just reading it. You two are funny buggers!

 

[Raysie]

ASSASSIN: Don't give mate whatever you do. Things are really tough at the moment, but even at your worst you have to keep it together somehow as you said for your kids.

There's nothing worse than growing up without a Dad. Myself and my Dad don't have your typical father/son relationship and I only see him once every couple of months these days as he's going through a similar tough time... however it's still better than not being able to ever see him again and get advice from him when I need it.

 

[The DoggFather]

I have been a bouncer since 98 but my cardiologist said no physical work so I'm look for a desk job.

It's hard to land a job these days.

 

[The DoggFather]

Actually your wedding speech would have been awesome. I also believe SoH would do a great job, even he was just reading it. You two are funny buggers!

I actually forgot to thank people too like my mother-in-law lol

 

[The DoggFather]

ASSASSIN: Don't give mate whatever you do. Things are really tough at the moment, but even at your worst you have to keep it together somehow as you said for your kids.

There's nothing worse than growing up without a Dad. Myself and my Dad don't have your typical father/son relationship and I only see him once every couple of months these days as he's going through a similar tough time... however it's still better than not being able to ever see him again and get advice from him when I need it.

Thanks for you encouragement, might be a few words for you but means a lot to people like me

 

[south of heaven]

I have been a bouncer since 98 but my cardiologist said no physical work so I'm look for a desk job.

It's hard to land a job these days.

My biggest problem was holding down jobs due to time off. I now work for myself which seems to work for me cept when I'm a budging **** lol

 

[Stoofy]

No mate sober alcoholic, here would never put the kids thru drunk me and I have not touched a drop since they came round. A greater understanding of what is wrong has helped me the desire to live the best life I can and knowing I can fight it

Sounds like your doing very well for yourself.

I know when my old man passed I was getting hammered every night. Still went to work but I was pissed off for years.

Now I try to keep the beers for only the weekends with mates. I feel much better now.

 

[south of heaven]

Sounds like your doing very well for yourself.

I know when my old man passed I was getting hammered every night. Still went to work but I was pissed off for years.

Now I try to keep the beers for only the weekends with mates. I feel much better now.

It's a very real possibility if I touch a drink again I'll be dead . Unfortunately in my dark times I banged myself up that hard that it will catch up to me later in life.ive accepted that but still pisses me off lol

 

[Stoofy]

I have been a bouncer since 98 but my cardiologist said no physical work so I'm look for a desk job.

It's hard to land a job these days.

You would make a great media critic!

 

[Stoofy]

It's a very real possibility if I touch a drink again I'll be dead . Unfortunately in my dark times I banged myself up that hard that it will catch up to me later in life.ive accepted that but still pisses me off lol

If your better without it & dont enjoy it, then its best to give it away.

I still smoke ciggies but Im considering giving it away. Tried on my own but its not that easy!

 

[Owey]

Just to exapnd on my situation, I have had depression for about 5 years now but it got worse when I lost my father 3 years ago. I just got married in Cancun and my dad got sick, we came home 3 weeks early to be with him but we missed him by a couple of hours. Then I copped an airborne virus which hit my heart. I now have 20% use of my heart and ever decreasing. Once it gets to about 5%, then I'm eligible for a heart transplant, which basically gives me a max of 10 years. My life expectancy has dropped 20-30 years and now have a immune system of a new born baby.

Because my heart isn't functioning properly, it causes many problems for me, the newest is I'm a insulin dependant diabetic.

But what kills me more is I lost my job because "I'm a risk" and have been looking for work and I can't land a fuking job.

Of course all this shit has added to my depression/anxiety/stress.

I have thought of ending it many times, I had a knife to my throat once but I guess the only thing stopping me are my two kids..

Sad to hear that Assassin. A shorter than normal life expectancy isn't a good thing but what is important is the what you pack into the life that you do have. None of us know when it's out time. Use the opportunities that you now have at home to bond with your kids, family and friends, because a lot of people miss out on that due to work commitments.

I know the demons put a black cloud over rational thoughts, and it's hard to see through the cloud at times, but every new day you spend with your kids and family is one they will pleased to have with you. Try and remain positive and keep the cloud in the past.