Dad jokes

Bulldog Wrestler

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My local bank is installing an ATM in a tree. If it’s successful, they might expand to other branches.
 

Bulldog Wrestler

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Bars need to do a sad hour with even cheaper drinks and everyone just acts cools if you cry.
 

Bulldog Wrestler

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I had no plans today. My wife found out and boy did I have a lot of plans today I didn’t know about.
 

Bulldog Wrestler

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I just saw an ad for a wireless bra and I gotta be honest right now, I never even knew they needed to be plugged in.
 

Bulldog Wrestler

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I'm so jealous of people who know how to shut up.

I shut up and subtitles come out my face.
 

Bulldog Wrestler

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One minute you're excited to be leaving work on Friday afternoon and the next it's Sunday evening and you're getting ready for work again...

These weekends need to SLOW DOWN.
 

Bulldog Wrestler

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Tried mixing Mexican alcohol with 20th century American literature last night.

Ended up with tequila mockingbird
 
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