Dad jokes

[Bulldog Wrestler]

What did the bra say to the hat?

You go on ahead while I give these two a lift.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

I’ve lost my mood ring.

Not really sure how I feel about it.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

Three tons of hair was stolen from a wig factory.

Police are combing the area.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

Seven star hotels are overrated.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

What do you call someone who points out the obvious?

Someone who points out the obvious.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

Comic Sans walks into a bar.

“Get out of here,” yells the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

If the groundhog sees its shadow today, there will be six more weeks of winter. If it doesn't, there will only be about a month and a half.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

Cats bring you dead animals because they think you're just a useless cat that can't survive on its own.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

My son made the mistake of telling me I was being overdramatic so I just changed the WiFi password.

We'll see who's overdramatic in about 5 minutes.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

A photon walks into a hotel. The bellhop asks if he needs help with his bags.

The photon replies: “No thanks, I'm travelling light.”

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

I don’t usually get a ton of laughs from candy bar jokes.

Just a few snickers.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

Did you hear about the kid who started a business tying shoelaces on the playground?

It was a knot-for-profit.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

Barbers. Ya gotta take your hat off to them.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

What do you call a Roman Emperor with a cold?

Julius Sneezer.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

I refuse to go bungee jumping….

I came into this world because of a broken rubber, l'm not leaving because of one.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

What do you get when you cross a parrot and a centipede?

A walkie-talkie.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realise I'm not an actor.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

Why was the elephant late to the airport?

He forgot to pack his trunk.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

What do call a snowman that plays piano?

Meltin’ John.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

The Egyptians were great builders.

Up to a certain point.