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The "R U OK ?" thread

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by ASSASSIN, Jul 23, 2014.

  1. Armchair critic

    Armchair critic Desball 4 life Gilded

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    What's this bullshit about, once you're working and earning money, all bad feelings go away and life becomes great again? So not true at all. I'm a month ahead of rent and can virtually go out anywhere and do anything but still don't see the need? Life is such a waste of time and the world is just a prison really.
     
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  2. ASSASSIN

    ASSASSIN The Bearded Crusader Premium Member Gilded

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    And the prison is in the process of upgrading to maximum security if, more likely when, the elite implement their agenda.
     
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  3. Mr Invisible

    Mr Invisible Super Mod Staff Member Premium Member Gilded

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    Thread hasn't been active for a while..

    Not sure how everyone else is doing these days... for me... well.. it's complicated.

    For years I had worked my arse off in IT, without any real formal training. As such everything I learned I picked up whilst on the job (self taught) over 25+ years.

    In the last 4-5 years my work life balance after starting a new job got completely nuked. If I had 4 hours a week to myself (aside from sleep) it was a good week. I had one holiday in the entire time I worked there (and even then was on call and fielding calls). Eventually (with a long long story about workplace harassment/bullying/etc etc), that job finished and I was made redundant.

    Luckily however there was a good redundancy payout, and income protection, but that doesn't last forever (specially when you factor in having to move houses and get reestablished), and other expenditures.

    So I took a hiatus from things to work on ME, and whilst working with a Clinical Psychologist has been really good, it doesn't "fix" the current situation.

    That situation? INCREDIBLY tight financial situation, trying desperately to reskill pushing myself to study hard (which I've never been good at), and focus on me. I feel though that I don't want help in this journey. It's something I have to do myself and I reckon when I do get another job, I'll be more dedicated to it, knowing that I did it all myself.

    So why the post?
    Well, I'm trying to block out a dire financial situation due to being unemployed. If I worry / panic too much about finances, then everything else will fall in a heap. My wifes been fantastic in all this, but I feel a bit of a failure as I was always the primary wage earner and took care of the rent. But it's unfair she is burdened with the financial aspect of things whilst I try and sort myself out (both employment/education/psychologically). Then there's family issues.

    Before anyone chips in, we cannot get any government assistance (as wife earns well over $960 a fortnight, payout is $0), so even if accepted for Newstart we would get $0.

    Anyway enough about that... I don't want to think about it. Here are my main 4 issues at present, with issue 4 being the trickiest.

    ISSUE 1
    Financial situtation, see above.

    ISSUE 2
    Reskilling. I'm trying to learn PROPERLY things from the past, things for the present, and things for the future, but the IT field is so incredibly broad (and job requirements always so specific). That I feel I need to cover everything to have a good chance of nailing a job confidently.

    ISSUE 3
    Work / Life balance will be far more important in my next job. I NEED to give myself time, else I'll self destruct again. However I can't get a part time job as that'll take away study time. I HAVE to get a full time job. I can't take a lower level position, as in order to live (and save/rebuild our accounts) realistically I need to be on over $60-$65k a year. That means I need to re-educate and aim high. I'm sure I can do it (I have to), but that doesn't mean there isn't a stack of motivation, self doubt, and self concern issues.

    ISSUE 4
    Compounding all this, is that my Grandfather (and my sole remaining grandparent), is dieing. There's no easy way to say it, but that's the reality of it. After a 3 odd year long battle with cancer on his own (after Nan died suddenly almost 3 years ago from a massive stroke), they believe he is entering end stage congenital heart failure, and at almost 90, there's nothing they can do.
    I'm trying to block out negative influences and things to concentrate on me, but I cannot put this aside.

    Money doesn't worry me, health and family are everything. Sure I don't have kids, but I work hard to provide (when employed), and enjoy both my close family, and my personal family (wife and dog).

    So knowing I'm about to lose someone so close, and someone who (literally) changed me life for the better years ago, it's gonna be tough.

    Just needed to vent..
     
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2018
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  4. Hacky McAxe

    Hacky McAxe Immortal Gilded

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    Shit is oddly going pretty well for me right now. The Mrs still likes to find ways to make my life as difficult as possible but shit is going pretty well at work. Waiting on approval from head office but it looks like I'll be moving into a new role with better pay. There's a lot more work involved but it's stuff I actually enjoy doing rather than the boring shit I'm currently doing.
     
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  5. ASSASSIN

    ASSASSIN The Bearded Crusader Premium Member Gilded

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    My life just goes from shit to worse. I'm just glad my kids are happy and healthy.
     
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  6. Hacky McAxe

    Hacky McAxe Immortal Gilded

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    Sorry to hear mate. Life just likes to be a cunt to some people. You especially. Best thing to do with cunts is to kick them. Hard. And keep kicking them until they learn to not be cunts any more.
     
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  7. ASSASSIN

    ASSASSIN The Bearded Crusader Premium Member Gilded

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    You know how to reach me lol

    Thanks brother
     
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  8. Mr Invisible

    Mr Invisible Super Mod Staff Member Premium Member Gilded

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    Everyone needs to watch this.
     
  9. Wahesh

    Wahesh The Forefather of The Kennel

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    Mate life was never meant to be easy. I feel for you. I think the best thing to do is to look for part-time work (even if not IT based, this is what happened to me) just to get some income coming in for you. That should take care of the first 2 issues.

    Issue 3 is about work/life balance. You can get there until you're ready for fulltime work. Just remember A LOT of office jobs these days are in front of a computer, so it can kind of be considered IT, because we all work in front of the for 7 hours a day (excluding lunch). I would highly recommend looking for a job with the NSW Government as they have work/life balance policies, flexible working/working from home etc... and I highly recommend them after 13+ years.

    Issue 4 - mate, nothing much can be said. It's always tough to lose a loved one, just be there with him, constantly visit him so he knows you love and care about him. Regardless of religious beliefs, you should acknowledge that someday you and your pop will be together again.

    Here's a picker-upper for your Friday @Mr Invisible mate:

    [​IMG]
     
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  10. Mr Invisible

    Mr Invisible Super Mod Staff Member Premium Member Gilded

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    Today I say goodbye to a great man, a grandfather who was toughest and strongest person I know.

    To have known him my entire life today is a privilege and an honor.

    I'm going to miss him so much, but he's with Nan now :(
     
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  11. Wahesh

    Wahesh The Forefather of The Kennel

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    Brother I am so sorry to hear about this, but just know that your Pop is no longer in pain, and he's reunited with his life partner. You and your family can now take comfort in knowing that he is at rest and, to be fair, he's closer to you and his others loved one than he's ever been before - he lives in your heart now.

    Our family chain is broken,
    And nothing seems the same,
    But as God calls us one by one,
    The chain will link again.
     
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  12. Wolfmother

    Wolfmother Immortal

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    So sorry for your loss. Big hugs.
    No words could comfort me when my mum passed away suddenly at Christmas
     
  13. ASSASSIN

    ASSASSIN The Bearded Crusader Premium Member Gilded

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    Didn't know that Wolfie, sorry for your loss.
     
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  14. utility half

    utility half Immortal

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    Sorry for your loss, mate...
     
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  15. Wahesh

    Wahesh The Forefather of The Kennel

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    Didn't know that either wolfy. Sorry to hear that :(
     
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  16. Wolfmother

    Wolfmother Immortal

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    Sorry I didn't mean to take away from Mr I.. Thank you guys.. I feel the love
     
  17. utility half

    utility half Immortal

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    This Christmas just passed? So sorry to hear of your loss too.... whether it was recent, or not.
     
  18. Wolfmother

    Wolfmother Immortal

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    Thanks Utility, yes just 5 months ago. I went from super angry to acceptance.. I haven't grieved yet . Everyday she comes into my thoughts but I only see her in her hospital gown deteriorating.
     
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  19. utility half

    utility half Immortal

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    I'm sorry....that must have been an awful thing to go through at any time....let alone Christmas. Sending love and good vibes to you and your family.
     
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  20. ASSASSIN

    ASSASSIN The Bearded Crusader Premium Member Gilded

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