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Share your shirtless restaurant story

Have you ever been thrown out of a restaurant with no shirt on?

  • Yes

    Votes: 3 17.6%
  • No

    Votes: 13 76.5%
  • More than once

    Votes: 1 5.9%

  • Total voters
    17

utility half

Kennel Immortal
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I was thinking about what happened to Elliott and the whole Millie Boyle incident and I couldn’t help but wonder how many of us would still have jobs if everyone who had been thrown out of a restaurant with no shirt on had been fired over it. I think it happens way more often than people admit. In solidarity with the unjustly deposed King, I thought I would share my shirtless restaurant story in the hope it might encourage others to do the same.

It was 2007 and my ex girlfriend and I were celebrating our second anniversary. I wanted to do something really special for her, so I took her to her favourite restaurant. It was relatively quiet that night at the George St Pizza Hut. It was 9pm and all of the families had left. There was an old couple having a heated argument about whether Live Free or Die Hard had been better than Die Hard With a Vengeance. The old man seemed to think the bit where Bruce Willis drives through the park was the best moment in the history of cinema, but the woman thought Bruce single handedly taking out a chopper had been a more gratifying moment. There were a few couples of star crossed lovers gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes. Apart from that, the place was as empty as Trent Barrett’s set play notebook.

As you all probably know, ham and pineapple is a powerful aphrodisiac….and Helen and I were pretty high on Pepsi. We were lady and the tramping strands of the finest spaghetti you will find south of Sicily and were getting pretty amorous. She whispered into my ear ‘Let’s go to the bathroom.’ But I shook my head and said ‘Someone might interrupt us. Let’s go behind the salad bar. Nobody will disturb us there.’ Unless one of the star crossed couples were to get the same idea, I thought to myself. And if they do, they might be up for swapsies.

We giggled as we shuffled free of our chairs. We furtively tiptoed over to the salad bar, holding hands and winking at each other conspiratorially. We fell into each other’s arms and sunk to the ground, kneading each other like dough. I felt her tongue darting into my mouth - like a moray eel shooting out of its wet, dark cave to snap up a passing fish. My breath fogged up her glasses as I felt her hand reaching under my waistband.’Oh Helmut, this is the most magical night of my life. Everything is just perfect. Make love to me,’ she cooed. I lifted my shirt over my head, freeing my washboard abs as I deposited the sweaty wad of cotton on the sticky carpet. Then I felt a tap on my shoulder and a lump in my throat.

I still think of her often…. wondering whether she thinks of me too, from time to time. Whether she thinks of that night - the most romantic night of our young lives. I think of her and hope she is happy with the life she has chosen…. But if truth be told, a part of me died that night at Pizza Hut.

Anyway, that wasn’t easy, but there you have it. My shirtless restaurant story. Feel free to share your own in the comments below. The truth will liberate you. Or if you don’t feel ready to share the details, just vote. But please be honest. I know that at least 90 percent of you have had similar experiences. Be honest. You owe me that much given the personal nature of the story I just shared with you.
 
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B-Train

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Did you have your shirt off at the Pizza Hut so you wouldn't get any rampant diarrhoea from the food poisoning from the $5 sloppy pizza on your clothes?
 

Tassie Devil

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Funny thing is ...

I actually thought we were going to share such stories and was going to add my own but now I see it's a pisstake I'll go back to my corner and pretend it never happened.
 

wendog33

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I hope Helen wasn't too traumatised.
 

N4TE

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I once got asked (and this is one fir the Simpsons fans on here) if I would like to just leave the venue quietly (good old Coogee Palace Hotel) or they can drag me out kicking and screaming. I forgot what I even did but I got to live a real Simpsons moment and said Ohh kicking and screaming please… And fuck did they drag me out. I managed to keep my shirt on though. I don’t know how many times I was kicked out of that place back in the day ha ha
 

utility half

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Funny thing is ...

I actually thought we were going to share such stories and was going to add my own but now I see it's a pisstake I'll go back to my corner and pretend it never happened.
Not a pisstake at, all Tassie. Please share your story. I'm sure we would all like to hear it.
 

utility half

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Did you have your shirt off at the Pizza Hut so you wouldn't get any rampant diarrhoea from the food poisoning from the $5 sloppy pizza on your clothes?
If I had my way, we'd have just stayed in and ordered dominos .....but it was a special day and pizza hut was her favourite.
 

utility half

Kennel Immortal
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I once got asked (and this is one fir the Simpsons fans on here) if I would like to just leave the venue quietly (good old Coogee Palace Hotel) or they can drag me out kicking and screaming. I forgot what I even did but I got to live a real Simpsons moment and said Ohh kicking and screaming please… And fuck did they drag me out. I managed to keep my shirt on though. I don’t know how many times I was kicked out of that place back in the day ha ha
I remember one night at the Great Northern in Newie, I got kicked out and ended up slipping back in through the side door. I went straight to the men's to take a leak and the bouncers were waiting for me when I walked out. They weren't too impressed....lol
 
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south of heaven

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I have a pantless one when we were young and playing cards the loser had to run down the road on the nude and run around the round about, the time I lost and did it on the nude roundabout was the time a cop car entered the round about cops gave chase i ended up hiding under a shrub in a church till the coast was clear, hiding drunk and naked in a church is interesting you wonder who is going to get you first God or the cops
 

CroydonDog

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Not shirtless, but i did almost have the shit kicked out of me by a table of ladyboys all wired AF in a Pattaya Bar one early Sunday morning in about 2004. Luckily they all eventually calmed down as management suggested i buy them a round of drinks and get the f#ck out of there.
 

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Not shirtless, but i did almost have the shit kicked out of me by a table of ladyboys all wired AF in a Pattaya Bar one early Sunday morning in about 2004. Luckily they all eventually calmed down as management suggested i buy them a round of drinks and get the f#ck out of there.
Glad you lived to tell the tale! lol
 

N4TE

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I have a pantless one when we were young and playing cards the loser had to run down the road on the nude and run around the round about, the time I lost and did it on the nude roundabout was the time a cop car entered the round about cops gave chase i ended up hiding under a shrub in a church till the coast was clear, hiding drunk and naked in a church is interesting you wonder who is going to get you first God or the cops
Best naked story I have my mate who was a known loose unit went out to get ciggies at a house party kick on at his joint he was renting. I couldn’t tell you what time of the night early morning it was but we realised probably about 8 of us that he had been gone for over an hour.

His missus trying to ring him and couple of the boys texting ect. Another 20 minutes pass and you couldn’t say the group was too concerned with the shenanigans going on but next minute he texts his missus and says bring everyone outside on the street I’ve got a present..

I will never ever ever forget this. We all stumble outside probably 3:00am in the morning and from the top of the street we see this figure is he naked?? Yep as he gets closer it’s Aiden coming down the street in roller skates and nothing else on… ha ha ha

Turns out loose unit walked up to get smokes from Petersham servo and decided to explore the old Petersham skate rink up on New Canterbury Rd and found himself some roller skates and thought it would be a great idea to take his kit off at the top of the street and roller skate past the house starkers..

Turns out he never even got his cigarettes and I will give it to him was the funniest shit I have ever seen.
 
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