Men's Rights - A Rant

[Wolfmother]

I guess I’ll have to shut the ‘f$&k’ up Wolfy..because being emotionally abused can be horrible..and affect people physically..just as physical violence can...it’s a horrible thing..it really is..

Emotional abuse may not leave bruises..but it leaves scars on the inside.. See people can threaten and not hit..but it make the victim feel scared..to live in fear..to live with a threat..to live where you can’t have an opinion..to live with no freedoms..all can affect people physically.. The mind is a powerful thing..when it’s broken..the body breaks down too..

the psychological abuse argument is being used by men in this instance to blindside the real issue and deflect blame.

As much as I think emotional abuse is damaging to a person it isn't in the same world as someone getting punched and kicked or physically threatened in the same environment.


Let me clear it up

 

[Wolfmother]

I guess I’ll have to shut the ‘f$&k’ up Wolfy..because being emotionally abused can be horrible..and affect people physically..just as physical violence can...it’s a horrible thing..it really is..

Emotional abuse may not leave bruises..but it leaves scars on the inside.. See people can threaten and not hit..but it make the victim feel scared..to live in fear..to live with a threat..to live where you can’t have an opinion..to live with no freedoms..all can affect people physically.. The mind is a powerful thing..when it’s broken..the body breaks down too..

Id rather have emotional scars on the inside than having my head pushed through a wall

 

[Flanagun]

That American study seems like absolute fakenews.. how many men you do you actually know that have been physically abused by their wives?? Not a slap or a little shove , serious injury?? In any case a slap or a shove is more likely to be in self defence. It is not domestic violence

Working in emergency for the last 10 years I have yet to come across a man who has needed treatment for domestic violence .. Not one!
On the other hand I've seen many, many domestic violence cases resulting in serious injury towards women

Domestic violence against men does occur. But severe injuries and deaths as a result of domestic violence occur much more frequently to female victims, there’s no doubt about that.

I do think there are issues facing men that need more mainstream discussion time, but I’m always dubious about statistics that try and portray the problem as a bigger problem for men than it is for women. Domestic homicide statistics don’t lie.

Psychological abuse happens to men, absolutely. It happens to women as well. Suicide is far from the only yardstick of psychological abuse and men commit suicide for reasons other than being victims of psychological abuse...

Why can’t we have a narrative about men’s issues in this society without minimising serious, societally ingrained issues that affect women? As a supposedly intelligent species, we are do dogmatic and childish.

To answer the question in your first par, I do know men who have been victimised, but its alarming how many of my female friends have suffered some form of abuse.

The biggest issue facing men these days is that mainstream social narratives do perpetuate our sense of alienation I think. I’ve felt that. I’ve felt extremely depressed and alone. But we should never seek understanding and sympathy for our own problems at the expense of female victims.

I wouldn’t completely dismiss Ecca’s statistic off hand, but there are many, many stats that can be produced to highlight widespread issues of societal violence affect women. I would seriously question the opinion/ perspective that more men are victimised. That’s not my experience. It’s not yours as an ER nurse. I think the suggestion that men are more frequently victims is rubbish tbh.

But I do think some men’s issues warrant more maimstream attention.

 

[Flanagun]

Id rather have emotional scars on the inside than having my head pushed through a wall

I don’t agree with you on this one. Emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse in its way, but both issues shouldn’t be played off one another.

 

[chisdog]

I realise emotional abuse can lead to suicide but it's still separate to violence.

I dont agree with piling emotional abuse into the same basket as domestic violence because its counteractive in highlighting an acute life threatening problem.

It's like walking into emergency and arguing with triage about life threatening acute conditions versus a progressive life threatening condition.

How would you feel if someone got to see an emergency doctor first because they came in after a verbal fight with their wife while (God forbid ) you came in with a knife stuck in your spleen or liver?

So to all those crying about emotional abuse being the same thing as physical abuse can shut the fuck up when they go to Emergency and the doctor makes you wait because someones been emotionally abused at home.

You missed my argument. My argument was that you said that suicide was their decision, so that was their choice. Most suicidal people feel as though there are no other options left & they do not have any choice.

I can't see how you compare triage to suicide in this issue. BOTH are problems.

 

[Wolfmother]

Domestic violence against men does occur. But severe injuries and deaths as a result of domestic violence occur much more frequently to female victims, there’s no doubt about that.

I do think there are issues facing men that need more mainstream discussion time, but I’m always dubious about statistics that try and portray the problem as a bigger problem for men than it is for women. Domestic homicide statistics don’t lie.

Psychological abuse happens to men, absolutely. It happens to women as well. Suicide is far from the only yardstick of psychological abuse and men commit suicide for reasons other than being victims of psychological abuse...

Why can’t we have a narrative about men’s issues in this society without minimising serious, societally ingrained issues that affect women? As a supposedly intelligent species, we are do dogmatic and childish.

To answer the question in your first par, I do know men who have been victimised, but its alarming how many of my female friends have suffered some form of abuse.

The biggest issue facing men these days is that mainstream social narratives do perpetuate our sense of alienation I think. I’ve felt that. I’ve felt extremely depressed and alone. But we should never seek understanding and sympathy for our own problems at the expense of female victims.

I wouldn’t completely dismiss Ecca’s statistic off hand, but there are many, many stats that can be produced to highlight widespread issues of societal violence affect women. I would seriously question the opinion/ perspective that more men are victimised. That’s not my experience. It’s not yours as an ER nurse. I think the suggestion that men are more frequently victims is rubbish tbh.

But I do think some men’s issues warrant more maimstream attention.

Only a couple of men on here ,yourself included, are objective enough to see the huge imbalance .

Largely speaking ,women are the defenceless victims of domestic violence.

There is no room for political correctness in this issue , in fact its detrimental to fixing the problem allowing bullies to continue.

The rallies going on are meant to expose /shame men and empower defenceless women by voicing that violence against women in domestic environments is not acceptable.

Emotional abuse can be subjective .. I can be called a whore or useless waste of space etc but to me I just look at it and think that means I'm winning to another person it might destroy them .
It's subjective and subjective is a very good tool for manipulating situations
What I'm trying to say is if we cloud this issue with other types of abuse then thr problem will just get buried deep.



Hopefully the exposure of of the white ribbon rallies has a trickle down effect, to expose other types of abuse .

However I think this one should be highlighted on its own.

 

[Mr 95%]

the psychological abuse argument is being used by men in this instance to blindside the real issue and deflect blame.

As much as I think emotional abuse is damaging to a person it isn't in the same world as someone getting punched and kicked or physically threatened in the same environment.


Let me clear it up

Wolfy do you remember their daughter..Grace..she got molested by Uncle Bully.. She ended up hanging herself.. Because she had not only been sexually abused..but emotionally as well..watching her father beat her mother..the alcoholic fueled parties..her father’s verbal taunts..he made fun of her story writing..it was actually Jake’s verbal scolding of her that pushed her finally over the edge that led to her hanging herself..She felt no one was there to support her emotionally..she even felt her homeless friend Toot had taken advantage of her emotionally when he kissed her..


Do you remember the other two sons? Nig Heke and Boogie? Nig turned to a gang for emotional support..which turned out bad as he ended up being murdered in ‘The Broken Hearted’.Boogie resorted to crime and thankfully ended up finding his emotional support in the Maori culture..

Emotional abuse are scars that can’t be seen..they are like some cancers..you can’t see em..but they affect you from within..and before you know it..it’s too late.. like it was with Grace..

 

[Wolfmother]

I don’t agree with you on this one. Emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse in its way, but both issues shouldn’t be played off one another.

Emotional abuse is fixable, being killed by your husband is not

 

[EXPLORER]

Emotional abuse is fixable, being killed by your husband is not

What about the Muslims
Will someone please think of the Muslims

Hundreds of Muslims were killed in Egypt mosque by Muslims
Muslims lives matter to

Fuck the husbands
What about the Muslims

 

[Mr 95%]

Id rather have emotional scars on the inside than having my head pushed through a wall

Actually I met Temuera Morrison..Jake..when I was on the Star Wars set..he came over to me, lifted my hand..and said ‘Hey..’and walked off..lol..at least he said hello..George Lucas just ignored me..lol .... You know he came out and said he had a lot of emotional problems..after playing Jake..he found he was ranting and raving at people..said he chanelled something nasty to play the Muss..and found it difficult to repress.. In light of his role..he actually campaigns about domestic violence..as he noticed young men admired his character Jake..

 

[Hacky McAxe]

Emotional abuse is fixable, being killed by your husband is not

Not necessarily. Just like death isn't fixable, some emotional abuse isn't fixable either and it can lead to suicide so the same end result.

 

[Hacky McAxe]

Only a couple of men on here ,yourself included, are objective enough to see the huge imbalance .

Largely speaking ,women are the defenceless victims of domestic violence.

There is no room for political correctness in this issue , in fact its detrimental to fixing the problem allowing bullies to continue.

The rallies going on are meant to expose /shame men and empower defenceless women by voicing that violence against women in domestic environments is not acceptable.

Emotional abuse can be subjective .. I can be called a whore or useless waste of space etc but to me I just look at it and think that means I'm winning to another person it might destroy them .
It's subjective and subjective is a very good tool for manipulating situations
What I'm trying to say is if we cloud this issue with other types of abuse then thr problem will just get buried deep.



Hopefully the exposure of of the white ribbon rallies has a trickle down effect, to expose other types of abuse .

However I think this one should be highlighted on its own.

It's important to note that the people on here aren't saying "Men get abused as much as women". It's a fact that women have always suffered more than men in the relationship throughout history. Even now days women are more commonly the victims of high level physical abuse.

The reason Ecca started this thread was to point out that men too suffer but society refuses to recognise that men suffer. It's very much not a deflection. It's recognising that women suffer in an abusive relationship but so do men. There is this common belief in society that women are the only victims of abuse and men who receive abuse should just harden up.

You look at initiatives like the shoes on the beach ( https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/n...h/news-story/b94d3ba783ab555d41ba4de0efbf153a ). It represents the 191 Australian men who commited suicide in 1 month but it got no air time. Just an article in a small subsidary paper and an article on the Daily Telegraph website (down the bottom of the page below everything else). It didn't even get a column in the Telegraph paper and there isn't even one comment on the story 'cause it's men so who cares?

In fact the most famous initiave on the topic is Movember, but people never recognise what it's for. Most people think it's just a fun thing to grow a mustache for a month.

That's the point of this. Yes, women suffer in abusive relationships. But there has to be recognition for the men too.

 

[Hacky McAxe]

Domestic violence against men does occur. But severe injuries and deaths as a result of domestic violence occur much more frequently to female victims, there’s no doubt about that.

I do think there are issues facing men that need more mainstream discussion time, but I’m always dubious about statistics that try and portray the problem as a bigger problem for men than it is for women. Domestic homicide statistics don’t lie.

Psychological abuse happens to men, absolutely. It happens to women as well. Suicide is far from the only yardstick of psychological abuse and men commit suicide for reasons other than being victims of psychological abuse...

Why can’t we have a narrative about men’s issues in this society without minimising serious, societally ingrained issues that affect women? As a supposedly intelligent species, we are do dogmatic and childish.

To answer the question in your first par, I do know men who have been victimised, but its alarming how many of my female friends have suffered some form of abuse.

The biggest issue facing men these days is that mainstream social narratives do perpetuate our sense of alienation I think. I’ve felt that. I’ve felt extremely depressed and alone. But we should never seek understanding and sympathy for our own problems at the expense of female victims.

I wouldn’t completely dismiss Ecca’s statistic off hand, but there are many, many stats that can be produced to highlight widespread issues of societal violence affect women. I would seriously question the opinion/ perspective that more men are victimised. That’s not my experience. It’s not yours as an ER nurse. I think the suggestion that men are more frequently victims is rubbish tbh.

But I do think some men’s issues warrant more maimstream attention.

The statistics on domestic violence are as flawed as the statistics on the gender pay gap. Studies on domestic violence tend to take the amount of people who suffer domestic abuse and not the severity of the abuse received.

As I posted earlier, in Australia 1 woman dies every 9 days due to domestic violence. 1 man dies every 30 days due to domestic violence. Much more men commit suicide due to domestic abuse (3 men for every 1 woman) but women are much more likely to be killed by their partner. When you only focus on the people who receive abuse then it's roughly equal, but there's a difference between "She slapped me softly" and "He put my head through a wall". The other thing to point out is that men are more likely to use domestic violence as an attempt to control women which is a form of oppression.

There's other things in the studies that have been found to be flawed. Questions like "Did your partner hit you?" which could cover a slap on the bum or a punch in the face. It also ignores the fact that men are less likely to admit to domestic violence than women, and some women may be too scared to admit to domestic violence.

Every study I have read on the subject has pointed out that there's no way to gather enough information to know for sure. Still better than people making assumptions based on their own person experience, but still too flawed to give you accurate data.

 

[Flanagun]

Emotional abuse is fixable, being killed by your husband is not

I think you’re minimising an important problem. Any form of abuse is worthy of societal attention and compassion.... surely any rational mind can see that. Some women have survived and recovered from physical abuse. Yet we can still acknowledge that many don’t and domestic homicide is a huge societal problem.

Done don’t survive emotional abuse and the reality is it is harder to make it through psychological abuse if someone feels alienated, or that society won’t listen to their problems from a compassionate POV, or are unsure which support network to turn to.

I don’t get dogmatic attitudes that suggest looking at one societal problem should prohibit us from looking at or acknowledging another. Male suicide rates don’t lie and it’s not constructive to be dismissive of the fact men face issues in the modern world too. I do think that’s possible without minimising the many historical and contemporary issues that have affected and still affect women today.

I don’t think you can quantify the reasons behind the amount of male suicides, but my own feeling is that a sense of alienation often contributes to suicidal feelings... and plenty of good, compassionate men to feel that sense of alienation.

It’s a reality imo but no excuse to minimise and divert from very serious issues that affect women. .

 

[Flanagun]

The statistics on domestic violence are as flawed as the statistics on the gender pay gap. Studies on domestic violence tend to take the amount of people who suffer domestic abuse and not the severity of the abuse received.

As I posted earlier, in Australia 1 woman dies every 9 days due to domestic violence. 1 man dies every 30 days due to domestic violence. Much more men commit suicide due to domestic abuse (3 men for every 1 woman) but women are much more likely to be killed by their partner. When you only focus on the people who receive abuse then it's roughly equal, but there's a difference between "She slapped me softly" and "He put my head through a wall". The other thing to point out is that men are more likely to use domestic violence as an attempt to control women which is a form of oppression.

There's other things in the studies that have been found to be flawed. Questions like "Did your partner hit you?" which could cover a slap on the bum or a punch in the face. It also ignores the fact that men are less likely to admit to domestic violence than women, and some women may be too scared to admit to domestic violence.

Every study I have read on the subject has pointed out that there's no way to gather enough information to know for sure. Still better than people making assumptions based on their own person experience, but still too flawed to give you accurate data.

Yeah it’s impossible to know exactly what goes on behind closed doors sometimes.

That all makes sense to me.

 

[Flanagun]

Only a couple of men on here ,yourself included, are objective enough to see the huge imbalance .

Largely speaking ,women are the defenceless victims of domestic violence.

There is no room for political correctness in this issue , in fact its detrimental to fixing the problem allowing bullies to continue.

The rallies going on are meant to expose /shame men and empower defenceless women by voicing that violence against women in domestic environments is not acceptable.

Emotional abuse can be subjective .. I can be called a whore or useless waste of space etc but to me I just look at it and think that means I'm winning to another person it might destroy them .
It's subjective and subjective is a very good tool for manipulating situations
What I'm trying to say is if we cloud this issue with other types of abuse then thr problem will just get buried deep.



Hopefully the exposure of of the white ribbon rallies has a trickle down effect, to expose other types of abuse .

However I think this one should be highlighted on its own.

The thing about emotional abuse is that like physical violence, there are different levels and extents of it and it’s something quite hard to quantify.

I have no issue at all with women campaigning to raise awareness about important issues such as domestic abuse, sexual misconduct and abuse etc.

These problems are massive societal issues and I don’t agree with any attempt to minimise these campaigns.

From my POV it’s really about remembering that some men are compassionate and sensitive and some men suffer in modern society too.

I applied the courage of women who recount their own stories of abuse and use their own negative experiences to try and make the world a better place for all women.

 

[Hacky McAxe]

Yeah it’s impossible to know exactly what goes on behind closed doors sometimes.

That all makes sense to me.

The current data gathering on Australian domestic violence is set to be ready by 2022, but the experts are saying that this is still flawed. What we know from it so far is that 75% of victims of homicide due to domestic violence over the age of 15 are female, 69% of victims of domestic violence over the age of 15 are female. But as many have pointed out, this only takes into account violence and does not account for violence against children. The only studies I could find on that concur that when children are the victim of domestic violence the perpetrator is the mother 52% of the time with the remaining 48% being a mix of siblings, father, grand parents, uncles & aunties, etc.

 

[Flanagun]

The current data gathering on Australian domestic violence is set to be ready by 2022, but the experts are saying that this is still flawed. What we know from it so far is that 75% of victims of homicide due to domestic violence over the age of 15 are female, 69% of victims of domestic violence over the age of 15 are female. But as many have pointed out, this only takes into account violence and does not account for violence against children. The only studies I could find on that concur that when children are the victim of domestic violence the perpetrator is the mother 52% of the time with the remaining 48% being a mix of siblings, father, grand parents, uncles & aunties, etc.

Ot will be interesting to see exactly what that data suggests... though yeah, as we’ve both acknowledged, no study about such a widespread problem tgst often occurs behind closed doors is going to be complete.

Interesting point that the focus of narratives on either women or men goes often minimise the impacts on children from the discussion.

 

[Wolfmother]

What about the Muslims
Will someone please think of the Muslims

Hundreds of Muslims were killed in Egypt mosque by Muslims
Muslims lives matter to

Fuck the husbands
What about the Muslims

Haha exactly my point

 

[Wolfmother]

It's important to note that the people on here aren't saying "Men get abused as much as women". It's a fact that women have always suffered more than men in the relationship throughout history. Even now days women are more commonly the victims of high level physical abuse.

The reason Ecca started this thread was to point out that men too suffer but society refuses to recognise that men suffer. It's very much not a deflection. It's recognising that women suffer in an abusive relationship but so do men. There is this common belief in society that women are the only victims of abuse and men who receive abuse should just harden up.

You look at initiatives like the shoes on the beach ( https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/n...h/news-story/b94d3ba783ab555d41ba4de0efbf153a ). It represents the 191 Australian men who commited suicide in 1 month but it got no air time. Just an article in a small subsidary paper and an article on the Daily Telegraph website (down the bottom of the page below everything else). It didn't even get a column in the Telegraph paper and there isn't even one comment on the story 'cause it's men so who cares?

In fact the most famous initiave on the topic is Movember, but people never recognise what it's for. Most people think it's just a fun thing to grow a mustache for a month.

That's the point of this. Yes, women suffer in abusive relationships. But there has to be recognition for the men too.

It actually is pretty sad to hear of the high suicide rate of men , I don't understand why exactly it's more prevalent amongst men but it definitely needs to be exposed publically if it's caused by society triggers.

Of all the people I have known in my life who have suicided they've all been male.

I've known 3 and only one showed any signs of suicidal ideations .
2 young guys and a middle aged man who had a ball breaking wife.