Do you smack your kids?

[south of heaven]

Was smacked. Will smack.
The point is not to do it out of anger and frustration. Too many parents hit their kids to make themselves feel better, that's not on.

100% agree
the youngest boy is being a total animal at the moment I mean really bad and gets me that worked up I want to hurt him (autism can push your limits) so I try to refrain from hitting when Im that angry. Have not really had to smack recently but it does come out.i find telling them to bundle up all the consoles because I'm going to throw them out if crappy behavior continues. Gets their attention pretty quick

 

[Bad Billy]

100% agree
the youngest boy is being a total animal at the moment I mean really bad and gets me that worked up I want to hurt him (autism can push your limits) so I try to refrain from hitting when Im that angry. Have not really had to smack recently but it does come out.i find telling them to bundle up all the consoles because I'm going to throw them out if crappy behavior continues. Gets their attention pretty quick

Oh yea "no more playstation" whips them into shape real quick !

 

[south of heaven]

Bad Billy and I were punished we coped the wooden spoon the bamboo stick then the bamboo stick taped up when it broke lol the ruler wooden and metal the flying shoe and sometimes the hand we were bad and really baited each other but we learnt from our lessons.
I think it is about rules and learning how to move on and up in life, I mean we got it if our grades were bad at school BB never got it for grades just becuase every report from kindergarten said that he would not shut up.

I hit my kids yes anywhere anytime if they do something wrong now I have the look (you all know the look yeah) I have mastered it they see it and say "I did nothing . . . . what daddy" and then say sorry.

I will one day hopefully look back and say I did everything I could for them and I hope that they see it and appreciate it.

My old man was a karate instructor for about 30 years.lol so I learned to run fast .and was bouncing many of year back in the day.some of the shit I seen him involved in maybe a kid should not of seen but I didn't **** up to much lol . even now at 65 the old prick is fit as a fiddle and looks about 30.i still would not be able to drop him

 

[Raysie]

I've never believed in smacking and will never smack.

Children respond better to patience/calmness, understanding and confidence rather than the stupidity of smacking which does nothing but tell kids it's okay to then hit other children when at school and eventually hit their own children when they have their own as adults. Sadly the dreaded cycle continues where everyone thinks it's okay.

 

[Psycho Doggie]

Its a sensitive subject, and unfortunately people tend to treat it dichotomously. There are two dichotomous statements that sum up the errors that are made on this subject.

1. Smacking a child = future bad outcomes
2. Disciplining a child = giving it a smack

For the first one, in studying large population samples scientists have found beyond a doubt that children that are smacked are more likely to suffer various negative outcomes than children who are not. It doesn't mean that a smack = disaster for the child, it means that a smack increases the risk that the child will experience any of a number of negative emotional and mental issues into their adulthood, and/or a variety of behavioural issues.

So it comes down to risk. You may well be a person for whom smacking didn't effect you negatively, and so might all your children. But the risk exists that one or more of your kids will retain negative affect from being smacked.

For the second statement, if a parent decides not to take that risk, but makes the mistake of confusing smacking for discipline, they will very likely raise a problem child who becomes a problem adult. Child require discipline, there is no doubt, the key is to understand that there are many methods of discipline available, and smacking is just one of them, often not the most effective.

I don't smack my daughter, never have, my wife has a couple of times. I have her respect and she is quick to obey me. The first time she had a major tantrum I carried her into her bedroom, sat her down, gave a box of tissues, and calmly packed almost all her toys into boxes. She calmed down pretty quick and asked me what I was doing. I explained that I was taking these toys away for a while, because he behaviour was wrong and she needed to be disciplined. I then put the boxes in the garage.

She got her toys back over the next few weeks, a bit at a time, and she hasn't done a tantrum since.

I not against smacking per se, I've just decided personally not to risk it. I prefer to get to know my child and understand what works with her. If there is one situation in which I would be 100% against smacking, it would be when it clearly doesn't work. If a parent is smacking their child for the same reason over and over, that is plain wrong. The definition of insanity, I think it was Einstein who said, is trying to fix a problem using the same failed solution over and over again.

 

[Indiandog]

The definition of insanity, I think it was Einstein who said, is trying to fix a problem using the same failed solution over and over again.

A wiseman also once said, " if at first you dont succeed try, try and try again"

My 6 year old coped some bad ones on the bum from 2-4. Now he rarely gets any.
Telling him verbally at that age was impossible cos he started ignoring our threats.
I have a friend who has a 5 year old and a 3 year old, never ever touched either of them cos he Is also of the opinion of no touching. Both his kids are the biggest bullies and physically hurt every other kid....now where the fck did they learn that.?

 

[Indiandog]

I've never believed in smacking and will never smack.

Children respond better to patience/calmness, understanding and confidence rather than the stupidity of smacking which does nothing but tell kids it's okay to then hit other children when at school and eventually hit their own children when they have their own as adults. Sadly the dreaded cycle continues where everyone thinks it's okay.

I have the example of my friends kid what I mentioned above. Horses for coarses my friend

 

[Ecca]

No problem giving my 3 year old a smack, we only really try to do it if he does something dangerous as opposed to just disobeying us

 

[speedy2460]

Disciplining a child does not mean giving it a smack. That is punishing a child for what it has done. Theres a difference between punishment and discipline. A child needs to learn discipline.
and that discipline is to learn what is an agreed standard of behaviour. Discipline is teaching the same thing from both parents until the behaviour standard is ingrained in the childs psyche. Smacking a child is punishing the child for what it has done.

 

[Rodzilla]

i was smacked and i turned out very badly tbh

 

[Indiandog]

i was smacked and turned out very badly tbh

Yeah I was smacked, beaten and kicked . I ended up being the biggest bully, mentally retarded, a complete failure, didnt finish school and on top of that I hate my parents....... ABSOLUTELY FCKEN NOT! LOL

 

[Rottie]

I was the youngest of 3 brothes, I copped it from my dad as well as both my elder brothers.

Man I did get physically abused ..lol

Haha I can relate to ya, I was 14 I was a fully sik **** smoking, my dad didn't think so, he really really fuked me up, he was renovating a house and I didn't know he found my cigarettes and a jet lighter, I went down to help him got, greeted with a swinging plank of timber to my leg and burn scars on both hands (jet lighter)

 

[Indiandog]

Haha I can relate to ya, I was 14 I was a fully sik **** smoking, my dad didn't think so, he really really fuked me up, he was renovating a house and I didn't know he found my cigarettes and a jet lighter, I went down to help him got, greeted with a swinging plank of timber to my leg and burn scars on both hands (jet lighter)

Lol...thats just a bit too extreme.
But I dont know what kind of a prick 14 year old u were..lol

 

[Bob dog]

I caught my ex kicking our four year in the legs, had to pull her up on that one.

 

[Rottie]

Lol...thats just a bit too extreme.
But I dont know what kind of a prick 14 year old u were..lol

Wasn't a prick was a complete ****! Honestly I deserved every bit thinking back now. Dunno what it was everything bad seed so attractive to me, not anymore tho thank god I grew out of that shit early 20's, I guess if my dad wasn't so hard on me I would've been a lot worse, always feared my dad when I got busted for anything, if it weren't for him I really wouldn't care i got busted school or police probably be dead or in jail now, so if u ask me is it ok to hit your kids, I'll ask how bad are your kids

 

[Indiandog]

Wasn't a prick was a complete ****! Honestly I deserved every bit thinking back now. Dunno what it was everything bad seed so attractive to me, not anymore tho thank god I grew out of that shit early 20's, I guess if my dad wasn't so hard on me I would've been a lot worse, always feared my dad when I got busted for anything, if it weren't for him I really wouldn't care i got busted school or police probably be dead or in jail now, so if u ask me is it ok to hit your kids, I'll ask how bad are your kids

Well said mate.
No wonder teen age thugs are causing havoc In this country, parent cant touch kids, law is a joke... no wonder the youth is getting out of hands.
Like i said every kid is different and needs to be treated as per their behaviour. Just like some kids are too hyperactive they have different needs for their bodies compare to some kids who are too calm. But on the flip side I have seen some nut case parents too who just want to murder their kids when they do something bad. My policy is no contact with any part above chest. Just work on the Bums or shoulders.

 

[Nano]

Bad Billy and I were punished we coped the wooden spoon the bamboo stick then the bamboo stick taped up when it broke lol the ruler wooden and metal the flying shoe and sometimes the hand we were bad and really baited each other but we learnt from our lessons.
I think it is about rules and learning how to move on and up in life, I mean we got it if our grades were bad at school BB never got it for grades just becuase every report from kindergarten said that he would not shut up.

I hit my kids yes anywhere anytime if they do something wrong now I have the look (you all know the look yeah) I have mastered it they see it and say "I did nothing . . . . what daddy" and then say sorry.

I will one day hopefully look back and say I did everything I could for them and I hope that they see it and appreciate it.

The look was deadly back then or the hand signals for wait till we get home lol.

To be honest if my old man tried to hit me now I'd drop him on the spot with no hesitation.

 

[Rottie]

Well said mate.
No wonder teen age thugs are causing havoc In this country, parent cant touch kids, law is a joke... no wonder the youth is getting out of hands.
Like i said every kid is different and needs to be treated as per their behaviour. Just like some kids are too hyperactive they have different needs for their bodies compare to some kids who are too calm. But on the flip side I have seen some nut case parents too who just want to murder their kids when they do something bad. My policy is no contact with any part above chest. Just work on the Bums or shoulders.

Yea kids are fuked these days! I mean it's ok to hit em as long as it's well deserved, I mean I never got bashed for breaking a glass or spilling some water by accident, but not doing homework messing up and shit yea copped as much as my level of fukup. I also agree some people should NOT be allowed to have kids! (Kiesha Abrahams springs to mind) At the end of it if you have good intentions for your kids I'm sure you will figure out best what works for them and don't need a guide.

 

[Stoofy]

Its a sensitive subject, and unfortunately people tend to treat it dichotomously. There are two dichotomous statements that sum up the errors that are made on this subject.

1. Smacking a child = future bad outcomes
2. Disciplining a child = giving it a smack

For the first one, in studying large population samples scientists have found beyond a doubt that children that are smacked are more likely to suffer various negative outcomes than children who are not. It doesn't mean that a smack = disaster for the child, it means that a smack increases the risk that the child will experience any of a number of negative emotional and mental issues into their adulthood, and/or a variety of behavioural issues.

So it comes down to risk. You may well be a person for whom smacking didn't effect you negatively, and so might all your children. But the risk exists that one or more of your kids will retain negative affect from being smacked.

For the second statement, if a parent decides not to take that risk, but makes the mistake of confusing smacking for discipline, they will very likely raise a problem child who becomes a problem adult. Child require discipline, there is no doubt, the key is to understand that there are many methods of discipline available, and smacking is just one of them, often not the most effective.

I don't smack my daughter, never have, my wife has a couple of times. I have her respect and she is quick to obey me. The first time she had a major tantrum I carried her into her bedroom, sat her down, gave a box of tissues, and calmly packed almost all her toys into boxes. She calmed down pretty quick and asked me what I was doing. I explained that I was taking these toys away for a while, because he behaviour was wrong and she needed to be disciplined. I then put the boxes in the garage.

She got her toys back over the next few weeks, a bit at a time, and she hasn't done a tantrum since.

I not against smacking per se, I've just decided personally not to risk it. I prefer to get to know my child and understand what works with her. If there is one situation in which I would be 100% against smacking, it would be when it clearly doesn't work. If a parent is smacking their child for the same reason over and over, that is plain wrong. The definition of insanity, I think it was Einstein who said, is trying to fix a problem using the same failed solution over and over again.

I agree with the above I have tried various things.

I remember a year or so ago my son was very naughty for hitting his sister, as kids do. We also organised to go out to the local club for a meal & a kids party. I threatened him to stop or we wouldn't go to the club. He done it again on the sly so we didn't go.

He kept on saying "I dont care", "Im going", "Im hungry we have to go" etc.

My wife & daughter went while I had to carry out the treat & stayed home. The little bloke cried watching through the front screen door, mums car leaving with his sister.

It really, really hurt him & did not hit his sister for a while. As he was only 5 at the time he did it again with a few days.They just forget!

Taking away toys, laptops, tablets has worked as well.

Ive tried to naughty corner with little success.

Another thing my son does that really drives me nuts is when he runs or jumps on the couch. What do I do? Take away the couch, smack, naughty corner, remove toys, pull his hair, etc?

This one really does my head in. At the age of 6 they really have bird brains with the memory of a chicken!

Any suggestions out there as this is almost daily or do all think the couch is a trampoline?

 

[Stoofy]

Haha I can relate to ya, I was 14 I was a fully sik **** smoking, my dad didn't think so, he really really fuked me up, he was renovating a house and I didn't know he found my cigarettes and a jet lighter, I went down to help him got, greeted with a swinging plank of timber to my leg and burn scars on both hands (jet lighter)

The timber to the back of legs is harsh but a jet lighter to the hands? Wtf?