I remember a year or so ago my son was very naughty for hitting his sister, as kids do. We also organised to go out to the local club for a meal & a kids party. I threatened him to stop or we wouldn't go to the club. He done it again on the sly so we didn't go.
He kept on saying "I dont care", "Im going", "Im hungry we have to go" etc.
My wife & daughter went while I had to carry out the treat & stayed home. The little bloke cried watching through the front screen door, mums car leaving with his sister.
Good job! The hardest thing about discipline using threats is actually carrying them out. I put my foot in it early on and made a threat about not getting Pizza for dinner, then had to carry out the threat cause she pushed it. Damn I was hungry too! Had to cook up some veges and make something out of a packet. These days I'm really careful with the threats, cause you gotta be able to carry it out if you make it, otherwise the threats are basically worse than useless.
It really, really hurt him & did not hit his sister for a while. As he was only 5 at the time he did it again with a few days.They just forget!
Yeah they do, sometimes I've found that the reasons for things happening weren't entirely clear, so I try to talk it through with her and figure out what her understanding is of what is going on, in her own words. Then I can try and fill in any gaps in her understanding.
Taking away toys, laptops, tablets has worked as well.
Ive tried to naughty corner with little success.
The naughty corner/seat is an interesting one. It works great with some kids, but the parent dynamic is also really important. I've always had more success with the naughty seat than my wife has. One of the keys I've found is to stay nearby. I'll typically grab my laptop and sit nearby doing stuff. Once again the parent has to be prepared for anything from a couple minutes to half an hour of time dedicated to this, and sometimes that can be a massive inconvenience. I've had to use the naughty seat maybe twice in the last year though, so they do get the hang of it.
Another thing my son does that really drives me nuts is when he runs or jumps on the couch. What do I do? Take away the couch, smack, naughty corner, remove toys, pull his hair, etc?
This one really does my head in. At the age of 6 they really have bird brains with the memory of a chicken!
Any suggestions out there as this is almost daily or do all think the couch is a trampoline?
That might be a little unkind to chickens!
There are four categories of discipline, most kids respond noticabley better to one or two of them, and less well so to the others (when you look at them you can see smacking can only be used in #2 & #4, which of itself tells you smacking on its own is limited).
1. Positive reward - "If you do (or don't do, as the case may be)
X I will give you a treat/play ball with you, etc"
2. Positive punishment - "If you do/don't do
X I will take away half your toys/put you on the naughty step, etc"
3. Negative reward - "If you do/don't do
X I will not let you watch the new DVD with your sister/will not take you to the Restaurant with mum and sis, etc"
4. Negative punishment - " If you do/don't do
X I won't have to take away your Playstation/will let you have dessert after all, etc"
Figure out 2 or 3 of each type that you think might work, and try them out. It'll become clear pretty quick which flavour of discipline they respond to quickest. Just make sure that any discipline you threaten can be carried out and is carried out if necessary.
Most of the time when disciplinary measures worked out for a specific child don't seem to be working, its not the measures themselves that are failing, its the inconsistency in carrying them out.
