The "R U OK ?" Thread

[dogluva]

Grandfather is doing to really rough at the moment. On constant morphine for the pain and has all but given up. Won't eat, doesn't want to read the paper, watch tv, or do anything. Just sits in bed staring all day.

For the first time in his life this is something he can't fix, or fight off, and to be honest when he lost his wife (my nan) after like 70 years together, he lost any will to fight regardless.

This is going to get real rough in the following months, and honestly, I can now see why people fight so hard for euthanasia rights if things get far worse for him (because apart from the cancer and extreme pain, he's perfectly fit).

I have a strange feeling he might pass away around the same time Nan did last year

Terrible news Mr I . It is hard to watch someone you love seemingly give up and I suppose in his circumstances you can understand it. From what you have said it seems he has made peace with himself and is just counting down the days. That does not make it any easier for you though.

Euthanasia is a touchy subject and the debate continues over the pros and cons of it all. There is no dignity in death these days under certain circumstances; who should we be to tell those who are just marking time in this earth and who are suffering that they don't have a choice to end life on their own terms. Quantity and quality of life are two completely different things and sadly the medical profession tends to err on the side of quantity due to their oath.

I hope that your Grandad finds the peace he is seeking with as little suffering as possible. Be there for him as much as you can, talk to him, even about the tough things that you may not feel comfortable discussing with him. Ask him how he is feeling about the situation.

If there is anything you would like to talk about please feel free to PM me.

 

[Memberberries]

Grandfather is doing to really rough at the moment. On constant morphine for the pain and has all but given up. Won't eat, doesn't want to read the paper, watch tv, or do anything. Just sits in bed staring all day.

For the first time in his life this is something he can't fix, or fight off, and to be honest when he lost his wife (my nan) after like 70 years together, he lost any will to fight regardless.

This is going to get real rough in the following months, and honestly, I can now see why people fight so hard for euthanasia rights if things get far worse for him (because apart from the cancer and extreme pain, he's perfectly fit).

I have a strange feeling he might pass away around the same time Nan did last year

That's horrible MrI.
My grandfather is beside himself right now because he has been with my grandmother since he was 18.

and like your grandfather he has cancer and other problems, I know when my grandmother goes he won't be far behind!

It would have to be the worst feeling for any man to lose their wife after spending lifetime together!

 

[dogluva]

Btw I just got back from Bankstown hospital after visiting my dying grandmother!
I heard someone say on here yesterday that there was proof there was a God for some goofy reason?
Trust me after seeing my grandmother lay helpless,suffering and ready to die I will say if there is a god, he has a sick sense of humour and I'd prefer to go to hell when I die if this is his great plan?

My grandmother has always been a good person and she has been deteriorating for nearly 10 years and the way she is going to go out? Fuck that, then you,hear about gangstas, murderers and other bad people, they are living in places like Potts point, double bay on the high life and they usually get to die comfortably at home in their beds!

Just remember at the end of the day, evil truly rules this world!
Don't believe me?mspell evil backwards!

It is human nature for people to tend to question whether or not God is a merciful being when we see some of the stuff that happens each and every day on this earth. People either believe or they don't; that is a choice, and even those of faith ask the question on occasions. It is how they deal with it that defines how strong their belief is.

I prefer to think that although things that happen to those we love may seemingly be cruel, I also think how much poorer this world and our lives would be if that person had never shared time with us at all. Some time surely is better than no time. How much that comforts you I don't know. I do understand your feelings and I mean no disrespect to you, but you shouldn't compare your Grandmother, someone who has made your life better for having known her ; a good human being, to those that live their lives without concern for others. Your Grandmother has made an impression on you, a positive one and your feelings of the senseless way in which she is suffering is understandable.

I have lost those I love to cancer and dementia over the years ( both horrible diseases) and of course have questioned why. I content myself with the happy memories and the good times shared with them rather than dwell on the unfairness of it all. We will all depart this earth eventually, that much is certain, so we need to make the most of our time here and leave a legacy that our families and friends will be proud of.

Continue to think fondly of your Grandmother and be there with her as much as you feel comfortable. My heart goes out to you.

 

[Memberberries]

Thanks for the words dogluva but after this experience and my other grandmother that passed away in a bad way who was also religious, I'm going to spend the rest of my days preaching, fuck God and he isn't coming!

If by chance God does exist,I'm sure he would look at the earth and see how pathetic we live and would of just given up on us by now?

Im sorry but I am not going to let superstition and fairytales try to get me sparked with hope!

 

[Drop Bear]

Grandfather is doing to really rough at the moment. On constant morphine for the pain and has all but given up. Won't eat, doesn't want to read the paper, watch tv, or do anything. Just sits in bed staring all day.

For the first time in his life this is something he can't fix, or fight off, and to be honest when he lost his wife (my nan) after like 70 years together, he lost any will to fight regardless.

This is going to get real rough in the following months, and honestly, I can now see why people fight so hard for euthanasia rights if things get far worse for him (because apart from the cancer and extreme pain, he's perfectly fit).

I have a strange feeling he might pass away around the same time Nan did last year

Sorry to hear that Mr.I. The only thing worse than watching a loved one fad is when they are suffering.

 

[Drop Bear]

Thanks for the words dogluva but after this experience and my other grandmother that passed away in a bad way who was also religious, I'm going to spend the rest of my days preaching, fuck God and he isn't coming!

If by chance God does exist,I'm sure he would look at the earth and see how pathetic we live and would of just given up on us by now?

Im sorry but I am not going to let superstition and fairytales try to get me sparked with hope!

I'm not big on religion and you have clearly stated why. I believe in God, but like yourself, I don't understand why he/she would let anyone suffer like that. I'm the last of my paternal family, some went in the night, others like my father laid in a hospital bed for a month suffering a long and painful death, just waiting and willing the end. Sorry this has happened to you Yul.

 

[Memberberries]

I'm not big on religion and you have clearly stated why. I believe in God, but like yourself, I don't understand why he/she would let anyone suffer like that. I'm the last of my paternal family, some went in the night, others like my father laid in a hospital bed for a month suffering a long and painful death, just waiting and willing the end. Sorry this has happened to you Yul.

Yeah this is what upsets me about the world and why I have reasonable doubts!
I'm sick of hearing about good people all suffering and having bad shit happening.
War,poverty,starvation,suffering and anything horrible shouldn't exist anymore!

I know the future hasnt happened but I always think of how fucked and backwards this world is going to be once we exhaust all the resources we take for granted!
"Experts" estimate in 50 years will be the end of oil,so I'm always thinking we need to find a new,unlimited and safe energy resource to keep society going when that day comes, otherwise we are all screwed!
If we cannot keep oil going at least clean water and air is a must!
If we cannot hold onto oil then I predict clean water will be the new oil.

 

[Drop Bear]

Yeah this is what upsets me about the world and why I have reasonable doubts!
I'm sick of hearing about good people all suffering and having bad shit happening.
War,poverty,starvation,suffering and anything horrible shouldn't exist anymore!

I know the future hasnt happened but I always think of how fucked and backwards this world is going to be once we exhaust all the resources we take for granted!
"Experts" estimate in 50 years will be the end of oil,so I'm always thinking we need to find a new,unlimited and safe energy resource to keep society going when that day comes, otherwise we are all screwed!
If we cannot keep oil going at least clean water and air is a must!
If we cannot hold onto oil then I predict clean water will be the new oil.

I found a new energy source on Thursday when I had an endoscopy. I'm pretty certain the way I was farting afterwoods that some prick stuck a compressed air hose up my arse!!. I just hope no one lights a match near me over the next few days or I might achieve lift off!!

 

[Memberberries]

I found a new energy source on Thursday when I had an endoscopy. I'm pretty certain the way I was farting afterwoods that some prick stuck a compressed air hose up my arse!!. I just hope no one lights a match near me over the next few days or I might achieve lift off!!

Have you not seen that South Park episode spontaneous combustion?
Its important to fart in moderation.

 

[Caveman]

Sorry to hear about that mate..

Cheers bro, when it happened i was dealing with a few other major life crisis at around the same time. It definately hit me for 6, but i came out the other side stronger and because of that I've had the pleasure of helping others walk through similar circumstances.

It's the hard times in life that help us appreciate the little things more and enjoy the better times more abundantly and is our own trials that give us the strength and compassion to go forward and help others with similar issues.

 

[dogluva]

I found a new energy source on Thursday when I had an endoscopy. I'm pretty certain the way I was farting afterwoods that some prick stuck a compressed air hose up my arse!!. I just hope no one lights a match near me over the next few days or I might achieve lift off!!

The marvels of modern medicine, lol!

 

[Mr 95%]

Cheers bro, when it happened i was dealing with a few other major life crisis at around the same time. It definately hit me for 6, but i came out the other side stronger and because of that I've had the pleasure of helping others walk through similar circumstances.

It's the hard times in life that help us appreciate the little things more and enjoy the better times more abundantly and is our own trials that give us the strength and compassion to go forward and help others with similar issues.

Great words..I admire your strength..

 

[Caveman]

Great words..I admire your strength..

Don't get get me started on your strength bro, you are simply amazing! A continual encouragement to everyone here on the kennel with your contagious ongoing victorious attitude.

 

[south of heaven]

Ive been working day and night for a while , im up to day 15 straight , now ive got the flu and im absolutely wrecked. Ontop of that i have to squeeze out 40 fucking hours by Tuesday.
But im still happy as a pig in shit. My anxiety is actually manageable. My dark thoughts are silenced and im just greatfull im able to work to support the family. Some weeks we just scrap by ,some weeks we are flipping the joint for spare change to put fuel in the car. Some weeks are fantastic i can splurge and by a new makita tool (thats my addiction ).
The Greatest feeling coming home after a few days and my girls are standing at the door that excited to see me.
Next week could all turn to absolute shit and be a **** .but for now im just enjoying the moment

 

[south of heaven]

Don't get get me started on your strength bro, you are simply amazing! A continual encouragement to everyone here on the kennel with your contagious ongoing victorious attitude.

Mr 95 is the toughest hombre on here .

 

[Mr 95%]

Don't get get me started on your strength bro, you are simply amazing! A continual encouragement to everyone here on the kennel with your contagious ongoing victorious attitude.

Thanks mate..

 

[Mr 95%]

Mr 95 is the toughest hombre on here .

Nah I'm a wussy..half wimp and half PUSSY!!! Lol.. Thanks Soh..you are one tough man too..and very very very funny!!

 

[south of heaven]

Forgive me if this sounds harsh (I don't mean it that way at all), but based on how you were recently it sounds like (even if you may not realise) the ADs are starting to work.

Good to hear days are starting to brighten up for you.

Yeah mate combination of the drugs the will to fight it ,eating a bit better focusing on a few things and pushing on. A lot of improvement to go and im aware it may take a long time but i think after 38 years i might be on track lol

 

[dogluva]

Ive been working day and night for a while , im up to day 15 straight , now ive got the flu and im absolutely wrecked. Ontop of that i have to squeeze out 40 fucking hours by Tuesday.
But im still happy as a pig in shit. My anxiety is actually manageable. My dark thoughts are silenced and im just greatfull im able to work to support the family. Some weeks we just scrap by ,some weeks we are flipping the joint for spare change to put fuel in the car. Some weeks are fantastic i can splurge and by a new makita tool (thats my addiction ).
The Greatest feeling coming home after a few days and my girls are standing at the door that excited to see me.
Next week could all turn to absolute shit and be a **** .but for now im just enjoying the moment

Great you are happy and fantastic that you are enjoying work and keeping those bad thoughts at bay. BUT....you have me worried.

We work to live, not live to work. Money is a necessary evil but if you can, try to take it a little easier. Hard work never hurt anyone and if it helps your anxiety well and good but don't push too hard, your health is important too. Hopefully the work load will lessen a bit for you, just to give you a breather.

On a lighter note. You are a machine, lol.

 

[south of heaven]

Great you are happy and fantastic that you are enjoying work and keeping those bad thoughts at bay. BUT....you have me worried.

We work to live, not live to work. Money is a necessary evil but if you can, try to take it a little easier. Hard work never hurt anyone and if it helps your anxiety well and good but don't push too hard, your health is important too. Hopefully the work load will lessen a bit for you, just to give you a breather.

On a lighter note. You are a machine, lol.

Aye just got to get through about another 14 days then breathe easy lol