The "R U OK ?" Thread

[dogluva]

My first post in this thread.
Not about me but seems a good place for it.
I still don’t like the way he left our club but today this guy called my mates 11 year old son who is recovering from Leukaemia. An actual screenshot from the call:
View attachment 19826
He called to say R U OK and lift the little fellas spirits which he certainly did, so credit where it’s due SBW.

How good is that? Maybe there is truth to the old adage " The wise always forgive but never forget" Certainly got me thinking....

 

[Sir Col 'The Mushroom']

Had some really shit news today. My niece's uncle on her father's side has just gotten a terminal cancer diagnosis. He's a great bloke too. He's spent the last two years working hard on losing weight and had up until six weeks ago been losing it gradually. Then six or so weeks back he's begun dropping weight at an alarming rate. Got to the point where he spent last week in hospital getting loads of tests done. I tend to deal with these things well. But it's really hard knowing what to say to him and his parents. There's nothing really that helps.

I'm going to see if he's got anything on the bucket list I can help him with. But it's sad seeing a bloke who's generally bubbly and full of humour feeling like crap.

The worst thing your niece's uncle will be going through is watching what this is doing to his family mate.
I know, I am watching what it is doing to my family with my cancer.
Just being there at times is all that is needed to lift someone up.

 

[coach]

The worst thing your niece's uncle will be going through is watching what this is doing to his family mate.
I know, I am watching what it is doing to my family with my cancer.
Just being there at times is all that is needed to lift someone up.

Hope everything is going as good as it can mate
Sometimes I wonder if it’s harder on the family or the person at different times

 

[Sir Col 'The Mushroom']

Hope everything is going as good as it can mate
Sometimes I wonder if it’s harder on the family or the person at different times

Definitely the family mate - the "victim" can come to terms with it (eventually) but the family are the ones who really suffer.
If I am in too much pain, just rip into the heavy duty shit and it eases off for awhile, the emotional pain for the family never eases off.

 

[Alan79]

The worst thing your niece's uncle will be going through is watching what this is doing to his family mate.
I know, I am watching what it is doing to my family with my cancer.
Just being there at times is all that is needed to lift someone up.

I haven't mentioned it on here. But his battle ended on the 27th of December. His funeral was on Wednesday. It's been a bit of a chaotic week. The main positive things are that he wasn't really in pain or suffering for a long period. I mean 6-7 weeks ago he did an upgrade on his car. So it was very unexpected. He only had about three weeks of knowing it was terminal. Since he passed I've tried to be supportive but not in the faces of his parents and brother. Just let them know I'm happy to be there if they need an ear.


Anyway Sir Col. I really hope there is a road to recovery for you. Although it sounds like that isn't the case from your post. And if not I hope that all your regrets are minor and the happy memories you've got are plentiful. I don't know how you can ease things for your family now. But maybe you could write some letters to recall some of the best times you've shared with them and thank them for the joys you've shared. I know that might be a tough task. But I think it's something they might appreciate.

 

[Sir Col 'The Mushroom']

I haven't mentioned it on here. But his battle ended on the 27th of December. His funeral was on Wednesday. It's been a bit of a chaotic week. The main positive things are that he wasn't really in pain or suffering for a long period. I mean 6-7 weeks ago he did an upgrade on his car. So it was very unexpected. He only had about three weeks of knowing it was terminal. Since he passed I've tried to be supportive but not in the faces of his parents and brother. Just let them know I'm happy to be there if they need an ear.


Anyway Sir Col. I really hope there is a road to recovery for you. Although it sounds like that isn't the case from your post. And if not I hope that all your regrets are minor and the happy memories you've got are plentiful. I don't know how you can ease things for your family now. But maybe you could write some letters to recall some of the best times you've shared with them and thank them for the joys you've shared. I know that might be a tough task. But I think it's something they might appreciate.

Sorry Alan, I did not know he had passed.
Mate, I am not into letters and such - what we are into is time together - far more precious for me and I think for them, although your comments are well founded and meaningful to many people.
You are showing you are a good man by "just being there" and letting them know you are available - I am certain you would be surprised how much that means to them.
I REFUSE TO QUIT - that is what matters, once I admit it is over then it is over.
Realistically I am already well past my use by date, but still making the best of it as I can, but if anyone thinks I am simply going to fold my arms over my chest and wait to die - FORGET IT!
All the best to you mate and thanks for being here.
I am still planning my second trip to Darwin to spend more time with my youngest daughter and they can take me out on the boat.
Will it happen? Who knows but I ain't one for giving up on anything.
Learned a few tricks about being a stubborn old C**T from my mate Assassin. lol
I should set a goal to still be here to put shit on the Doggies fans when they meet with the Eels later in the year. Hehe. Joking mate, just some friendly banter and taking the piss out of each other will do.
BTW, I think you guys could be a force this year, not as good as the Eels of course but still be a force.
Keep smiling bro.

 

[Alan79]

Well you'd better still be here for the Eels vs Dogs clash now. You do a good job of keeping us on our toes with friendly banter and I'm not sure any Eels fans out there are qualified to do so in your absence.

I'm glad you're enjoying the time with your family. Some people are driven by money and material things. But if you've given your kids the joy and love they need to become good people you've lived life right. Hope you enjoy the time on the boat with your youngest daughter mate.

 

[ASSASSIN]

Just realised 4 years ago today I got my heart from a special guy and his family.

God bless him and his family.

PS he would of been 22 this year

 

[Memberberries]

I was right long ago. Theres really no point to life.
Whats the point of living amongst so many mindless drones posing as humans?
Everyone thinks they're so right and such experts but can't even get their own shit sorted.
I'm glad I don't have many friends and don't care about anything. Probably the only thing keeping me going?

 

[Psycho Doggie]

Why it's time to stop pursuing happiness

Positive thinking and visualising success can actually make you miserable – happily, other strategies for fulfilment are available

www.theguardian.com

Something to think about if/when thinking is a feasible activity. Within research circles in Psychology this observation and ones similar have been piling up for a while now. We may not be far off a time when leading thinkers start proposing that the growth of a social norm in which "happiness" is an expectation and perceived lack of "happiness" seen as a problem may be a contributing factor to the clear increase of depression and anxiety over the last few decades.

 

[Sir Col 'The Mushroom']

Just realised 4 years ago today I got my heart from a special guy and his family.

God bless him and his family.

CRIKEY - 4 years and still going strong. Onya mate and I concur with your wishes to the family and donor.

 

[Psycho Doggie]

I was right long ago. Theres really no point to life.
Whats the point of living amongst so many mindless drones posing as humans?
Everyone thinks they're so right and such experts but can't even get their own shit sorted.
I'm glad I don't have many friends and don't care about anything. Probably the only thing keeping me going?

It seems to be human to seek meaning in life. Many of us go from having a strong sense of meaning through to very little sense of meaning at different times of life. When things suck it is usually a lot harder to get any sense of there being a point.

I've been at the bottom myself. Trying not to care is an understandable response, caring in a human world comes with cost. Dunno if this makes any sense, but maybe simplify things right down and identify a few things to care about that are front and centre not distant, clear not abstract. Know that much of the time caring about things and people who are directly present in your life does result in care being returned. Not all the time, there are sociopaths, and not necessarily in the ways we might expect, because people think differently, but care is returned a lot of the time.

 

[Memberberries]

It seems to be human to seek meaning in life. Many of us go from having a strong sense of meaning through to very little sense of meaning at different times of life. When things suck it is usually a lot harder to get any sense of there being a point.

I've been at the bottom myself. Trying not to care is an understandable response, caring in a human world comes with cost. Dunno if this makes any sense, but maybe simplify things right down and identify a few things to care about that are front and centre not distant, clear not abstract. Know that much of the time caring about things and people who are directly present in your life does result in care being returned. Not all the time, there are sociopaths, and not necessarily in the ways we might expect, because people think differently, but care is returned a lot of the time.

I honestly don't care about anything anymore.
The world sucks and life is stupid.
God isn't the nice kind loving being everyone is brainwashed into believing.
This is a horrible planet and humans are no better than animals.
Only difference is we walk on 2 legs!

 

[Psycho Doggie]

I honestly don't care about anything anymore.
The world sucks and life is stupid.
God isn't the nice kind loving being everyone is brainwashed into believing.
This is a horrible planet and humans are no better than animals.
Only difference is we walk on 2 legs!

How long have you seen things this way? Do you reckon you can remember feeling different, even if you can't remember what "different" felt like?

 

[Alan79]

I honestly don't care about anything anymore.
The world sucks and life is stupid.
God isn't the nice kind loving being everyone is brainwashed into believing.
This is a horrible planet and humans are no better than animals.
Only difference is we walk on 2 legs!

There are good people out there and good things about the world. But I do recognise that all the negative crap can easily overshadow these things. For every person that is in your corner and wants whats best for you, there are plenty of people that just don't care or will be willing to use you if it helps them get ahead. These days I only have two people outside of my family that I think would go to any lengths to help me out in a significant way. And I know that they've also got their own issues to deal with every day, so they won't be constantly advertising this fact to me. Neither of them are perfect and I know what flaws both of these mates have. But it's helpful to know that a couple of people at least are reliable.

I don't know your life circumstances. But even if you don't have these great people in your life it doesn't mean that will always be the case. But resigning yourself to that now will likely mean that if good people do get close you'll likely distrust it and look to send them packing.

At some point a few years back I decided that rather than feeling disgusted that many people are self serving I'd just brush this off and try to ensure I'm able to sleep at night based on my own behaviour.

 

[SPEARTAKVIDREFS]

I honestly don't care about anything anymore.
The world sucks and life is stupid.
God isn't the nice kind loving being everyone is brainwashed into believing.
This is a horrible planet and humans are no better than animals.
Only difference is we walk on 2 legs!

There was a time where I thought similarly to what you have described. I'm only going off your short words.
Id look around and couldn't see a way to make it in a hypocritical world.
I wont go into how bad it was but it got real bad over a period of time.
I got help.
I'm not a victim. Government isn't out to shaft me. Coppers aren't *****, they serve the community. There is good and bad in everything including religion even tho I'm not religious.
My thinking is very different to the way it once was. I still see the world differently. I still see bullshit but the revelation 'for me' is now I see my own bullshit very clearly. Its liberating to have life long perceptions shattered. Sure I struggle with things I see at times, make mistakes but if I just try and do the right thing, Im usually pretty good.
Ive had some awesome experiences the last 10-15 years, ones I never thought possible before working threw stuff. Ive come to see that the world is a beautiful place. There are so many opportunities and experiences if i work for it. Obviously not just talking about money.

I had a very close mate that thought as I did some 25 years ago. He didn't make it.
Honestly, if you get to a place of feeling low, if you haven't already, perhaps you may want to speak to someone professionally about how your feeling. If your not comfortable with that person then try someone else. I did, it took me a while to find the right people to help me work threw stuff. In fact one person that helped along the way in conjunction with others was a clergyman even though I didnt want any part of his religion. His faith helped me. I ended up seeing that thru my bullshit. Ill always be grateful to him.

Sorry for the rant, I don't mean to know your situation or think I have all the answers. Just sharing my own experiences hoping that you may take something from it if you have similar views.

 

[Greenmachine121]

I was right long ago. Theres really no point to life.
Whats the point of living amongst so many mindless drones posing as humans?
Everyone thinks they're so right and such experts but can't even get their own shit sorted.
I'm glad I don't have many friends and don't care about anything. Probably the only thing keeping me going?

Sorry you feel that way , there is a lot of truth in your post and it’s not an uncommon mindset
maybe try speaking to a psychologist and seeing if you can work through these issues ? I did and it helped a lot ...
Also speaking to someone who doesn’t have any emotional connection to you can give you a better perspective as well
Depression is a killer mate , hope you can get some peace

 

[Mr 95%]

Hi guys! I thought I’d pop in here and post what I sent on Twitter to another person who battles with depression..they asked what would you say to them if we met face to face for the first time..

Now I must express I am no expert on how people can get out of depression..but I do know how it feels to be depressed from my experience in a wheelchair. Although I was not clinically diagnosed with it, I battled it and thanks to a comment from a Social Worker..and a hell of a lot of help and advice from a Homecare lady who too battled depression..I was able to overcome it before it totally destroyed who I was.. However, I find you don’t ever defeat it, but rather control it..I mean just recently it has tried to tie me down again, but the skill set I have learnt enables me to battle it better. Hopefully they will help me in the future as well, as my time in a wheelchair lengthens (although I am very positive treatment is right around the corner after my correspondence with a leading scientist!). Nonetheless, back to what I posted..

So here are just my thoughts on life..and what I’d say first to em..apart from hello that is!

Well I’m in a wheelchair so you would have to squat down! Truthfully though,my words to you would be.Although life can be tough sometimes, and the will to be a part of it may waver,it is in its simplicity a beautiful thing.The beauty in a sun rise, the light touch of a gentle breeze,or the sound of birds chirping in the early morning.Simple things,but so wonderous.Things that make life so glorious to be a part of, not wealth,fame or material gain. If we can realise that this is what life is truly about than we will never be poor or wanting.

 

[tonee]

Hi guys! I thought I’d pop in here and post what I sent on Twitter to another person who battles with depression..they asked what would you say to them if we met face to face for the first time..

Now I must express I am no expert on how people can get out of depression..but I do know how it feels to be depressed from my experience in a wheelchair. Although I was not clinically diagnosed with it, I battled it and thanks to a comment from a Social Worker..and a hell of a lot of help and advice from a Homecare lady who too battled depression..I was able to overcome it before it totally destroyed who I was.. However, I find you don’t ever defeat it, but rather control it..I mean just recently it has tried to tie me down again, but the skill set I have learnt enables me to battle it better. Hopefully they will help me in the future as well, as my time in a wheelchair lengthens (although I am very positive treatment is right around the corner after my correspondence with a leading scientist!). Nonetheless, back to what I posted..

So here are just my thoughts on life..and what I’d say first to em..apart from hello that is!

Well I’m in a wheelchair so you would have to squat down! Truthfully though,my words to you would be.Although life can be tough sometimes, and the will to be a part of it may waver,it is in its simplicity a beautiful thing.The beauty in a sun rise, the light touch of a gentle breeze,or the sound of birds chirping in the early morning.Simple things,but so wonderous.Things that make life so glorious to be a part of, not wealth,fame or material gain. If we can realise that this is what life is truly about than we will never be poor or wanting.

You’re a legend mate!

 

[dogluva]

Sorry Alan, I did not know he had passed.
Mate, I am not into letters and such - what we are into is time together - far more precious for me and I think for them, although your comments are well founded and meaningful to many people.
You are showing you are a good man by "just being there" and letting them know you are available - I am certain you would be surprised how much that means to them.
I REFUSE TO QUIT - that is what matters, once I admit it is over then it is over.
Realistically I am already well past my use by date, but still making the best of it as I can, but if anyone thinks I am simply going to fold my arms over my chest and wait to die - FORGET IT!
All the best to you mate and thanks for being here.
I am still planning my second trip to Darwin to spend more time with my youngest daughter and they can take me out on the boat.
Will it happen? Who knows but I ain't one for giving up on anything.
Learned a few tricks about being a stubborn old C**T from my mate Assassin. lol
I should set a goal to still be here to put shit on the Doggies fans when they meet with the Eels later in the year. Hehe. Joking mate, just some friendly banter and taking the piss out of each other will do.
BTW, I think you guys could be a force this year, not as good as the Eels of course but still be a force.
Keep smiling bro.

Col.....this has knocked me for a six. I have not frequented the kennel as much of late as in the past and was therefore not aware of any problem with you. I gather from the tone of conversation that this is not a good outlook and for that I am truly saddened.

Be positive and fight the good fight as I know you will my friend. Life is precious, but it is not the measure of time you have on this ball of dirt but what you do with it. I know from past conversations that you are a realist, calling a spade a spade, but if anything you have a great outlook on things and that is a big positive.
Go forth and do the things you want to do, keep the family close and just give life everything you have.Typical of you to be worried about those around you and that is admirable because you are right to feel that they are doing it just as tough as you.
I know from first hand experience that those feelings on both sides are real but also that they show that both you and your family care and want to have nothing but the best for each other. I have always said that those on the outside looking in know how they feel but they don't know how the person who has been given the prognosis feels. That is the hard part. Be honest and open and have no regrets, be that stubborn old B that won't give in.

I send you all my love and hope that you will outrun this bastard of a disease for a long time to come. Too many good people have left us all to soon.