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Etiquette for mates that get divorced and remarried

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Blue_boost, Nov 27, 2019.

  1. Blue_boost

    Blue_boost Kennel Enthusiast

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    I need a bit of help on this topic as people that get divorced and remarried are usually strongly in the renters camp and I do t have much to do with them

    Anyhow my mate is a home owner and was married, got divorced and now Getting remarried

    I have a few questions as to the proper etiquette

    When he was married i bought him and his then wife a very generous gift. He's a good mate. But at the time the gift was supposed to be apportioned over the rest of their life. But he got divorced after maybe 2-3 years.

    So with his new marriage do I have to get him another gift?

    Do I ask for a reimbursement for the years of the previous marriage he didn't complete?

    Do I buy him a gift in anticipation it will only last 2-3 years? Hence a much smaller gift.?

    Renters out there help me deal with this confusing issue, it's just not where I'm best trained at.
     
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  2. Memberberries

    Memberberries Desball 4 life Gilded

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    If I get married and divorced once theres no point going for a second round.

    Having a mother whose been married and divorced 3 times gives me no hope that marriage actually works.
     
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  3. Wahesh

    Wahesh The Forefather of The Kennel

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    Give him money. It doesn't take a renter to figure out that's the wedding gift everyone is giving these days...
     
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  4. KambahOne

    KambahOne Forum Regular

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    Are you sure about that as your questions say otherwise?
     
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  5. Boxer

    Boxer THE BOSS In the Sin Bin Gilded

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  6. JayBee

    JayBee Immortal

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    Mate

    Shouldn't a card with "don't fuck this one up" be enough?

    Also..

    What an idiot. He gets a second chance at freedom and he fucked it up, harder than Des with our cap.
     
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  7. Blue_boost

    Blue_boost Kennel Enthusiast

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    It's an oxymoron thread isnt it?

    Asking renters for financial advice / proper etiquette? :grinning:

    Of course money is the ideal gift but a few missed the point.. I gave him money last time which was supposed to be amortised over his life. But he didn't complete his marriage so why dont he give back the gifts (at least pro-rata) before asking for another gift?
     
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  8. Wahesh

    Wahesh The Forefather of The Kennel

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    How on Earth is money meant to be amortised over a lifetime? Just exactly how much money did you give him?
     
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  9. Blue_boost

    Blue_boost Kennel Enthusiast

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    Don't you buy a wedding gift once for a new couple?.

    Ie the same couple cannot ask for a wedding gift the following year. Hence your gift is for the duration of their marriage which they declared in front of you "till death do us part"

    Hence your gift is to be amortised until death do them part..

    If they decide in 2 years to change their mind, I'd like 48/50 years apportionment of the gift back.

    Then if they marry again I reconsider a new gift.

    But they cannot bank my first gift and then hold their hand out for another gift?
     
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  10. Boxer

    Boxer THE BOSS In the Sin Bin Gilded

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    WTF???
    You give them a gift cause his your mate it shouldn’t matter how long the marriage lasts.
    So do you give your mate a birthday present once and say that’s for the rest of your life enjoy?
     
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  11. CroydonDog

    CroydonDog Immortal Gilded

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    Jesus wept
     
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  12. Blue_boost

    Blue_boost Kennel Enthusiast

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    Big difference

    Birthdays are every year , so if you buy them a gift it's to cover the year of the birthday.

    Marriage (as they declare before you) is once per lifetime. So yes your gift should be once. Otherwise do they declare "until the wind blows north"

    Geez asking advice from renters you really do get the ghouls come out. I overestimated the accumen of renters. What could we expect asking for etiquette or financial advice from renters. :grinning:
     
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  13. Maxhardcore

    Maxhardcore Kennel Enthusiast

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    Give him a dildo
     
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  14. Blue_boost

    Blue_boost Kennel Enthusiast

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    If I asked him at his first wedding, do I ever have to buy you another wedding gift he would have said no ..

    But a few years later?

    It must be embarrassing for them, in front of family and friends, promised it was till death do you part but your here again saying the same thing with another one? Unless your partner actually died (she didn't), how does anyone genuinely believe them?
     
  15. Boxer

    Boxer THE BOSS In the Sin Bin Gilded

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    How is renting a house makes me any different than you?
    You do know that you never own your property right?
     
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  16. Blue_boost

    Blue_boost Kennel Enthusiast

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    I'm not talking about you specifically but renters in general. Below doesn't apply to all but a good majority.

    I think home ownership is within reach of all, but it takes discipline, a few sacrifices, planning and a mindset to accumulate money and make sensible decisions. These type of people generally get luck go their way as they plan, anticipate and influence an outcome. Wealth builds wealth, there is constant progress and provides freedom and happiness.

    On the other hand, renters are perceived to not being able to manage their money, to squander their money as soon as they see it, buy items that basically are disposable, pay unnecessary Interest for "must have" purchases to give them a perception they are doing well, likely smoke and drink and live beyond their means, but it all catches up with them, they open themselves up to chance / gambling for a silver bullet solution and feel hard done by as things seem to go against them. At the end of the year their isn't much to show for their work. So they are no closer to freedom as the money isn't there. Whilst the home owners are surging away financially

    It's a mindset, nothing to do with what people own or not. Renting is more an outcome of different thinking. When we all come out of school ,s not many have much to start with but fast forward 15 years and you quickly see who made something for themselves and who is wasting their time. those decisions.

    At a job interview, first question I'd ask if people own or rent (in an indirect question). One of the answers would end the interview there and then.

    I wish I could go into schools and teach this to kids, they would all come out level headed.
     
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2019
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  17. Boxer

    Boxer THE BOSS In the Sin Bin Gilded

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    Lol bro seriously do you listen to your self?
    Tell me where in Sydney can you find a house less than 800k ? Unless it’s run down.
    Repayment on 800k loan is around 800- 900 a week and for the first couple of years your paying just interest, how is that affordable?
    Do you have kids?
    Are you married?
    Do you own your own business?
    Not everyone is on the same playing field.
     
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  18. The_Chimpster

    The_Chimpster Kennel Enthusiast

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    You should totally do a school tour blue balls, you'd make some heads explode with your renting vs buying insight and innovative ideas
     
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  19. Blue_boost

    Blue_boost Kennel Enthusiast

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    I wish I could.. I'd also love to run the course in this thread but it's about people who double marry and want another gift

    But I promise I'll start a stop renting now thread and run the course. There are a few on here that could still be saved
     
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  20. Howard Moon

    Howard Moon Kennel Addict Gilded x2 Premium Member Gilded

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    a noose perhaps
     

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