Dad jokes

[Sandra's Bollocks]

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

To get to the other side

 

[south of heaven]

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

To get to the other side

Bahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahaha
You going to enslaved tonight?

 

[Sandra's Bollocks]

Did you know you are supposed to pull anal beads out slowly?

I didn't... I started the wife up like a fucking chainsaw.

 

[belmore_utd]

what do you call an epileptic in a wheelchair?

transformer

 

[Sandra's Bollocks]

Bahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahaha
You going to enslaved tonight?

nah mate missing out on L7 as well, unfortunately.

but going to the cult and raised fist. you going to any of those?

 

[south of heaven]

nah mate missing out on L7 as well, unfortunately.

but going to the cult and raised fist. you going to any of those?

Lol nope this is my yearly show haha

 

[Sandra's Bollocks]

Lol nope this is my yearly show haha

hahaha. spewin' bro.

my deepest sympathies (or should i say symphonies)

hey, this is the bad jokes thread, right? dont judge me lol

 

[Mr 95%]

What do you call a quadriplegic in the ocean? F&$ked! Lol..

 

[south of heaven]

What do you call a quadriplegic in the ocean? F&$ked! Lol..

Lol fkn hell mr 95%

 

[Alexander the Great]

These have made my day. Solid stuff guys

 

[The DoggFather]

What do you throw to a drowning ref?

His wife and kids.

 

[Mr Invisible]

Bulldogs 2016 Season

Get it?

 

[The DoggFather]

Bulldogs 2016 Season

Get it?

Old joke bro, heard that in 2013, 2014 and 2015 lol

 

[justdogs]

View attachment 493

that's half of the joke, put john Grand next to him, to be complete, lol

 

[justdogs]

What's the difference between an epileptic oyster and a prostitute with diarrhea?

One you shuck between fits and the other you fuck between shits

now I know, how it feels to laugh and vomit at the same time

 

[Vlasnik]

DesBall!!! The bad joke that keeps on frustrating.

 

[Wolfmother]

 

[dogluva]

Back on January 9th, a group of HELLS ANGELS, South Carolina bikers were riding east on 378 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge .

So they stopped.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey Baby . . . whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"

She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"

While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked . . .. "Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe . . .why don't you give ol' George here your best last kiss?"

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that . . .and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.

After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting there, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.

 

[Realist90]

So this is a dad joke by one of the elder folk at my job.
Hey realist I wanna set up a page on facebook called off yourfacebook.
I shot myself countless times hearing that one.

He then has the audacity to follow up with another one with my brains all over the floor from shooted diedied myself.
Hey realist can you send me a picture of the fan you use during summer, why I ask, so I can create a fan page.

I started to skin myself and eat my skin and then run around raping everything.

 

[Bad Billy]

What's the only part of a vegetable you can't eat ?
The wheelchair.

Sorry.