Dad jokes

[DaBulldog]

I went to the doctor the other day and said: "Have you got anything for wind?" So he gave me a kite.

 

[DaBulldog]

What do you get when you cross Wendell Sailor and John Hopoate? Powderfinger.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

It's my wife's birthday next week and she's been leaving jewelry catalogues all over our house.

So I got her a magazine rack.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

I would love to tell you my secret recipe for my famous Indian flatbread, but first:

I'll need you to sign a naan-disclosure agreement.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

Dammit, I just burned my Hawaiian pizza.

Maybe I should have cooked it on aloha temperature.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

Every single morning I get hit by the same bike...

It's a vicious cycle...

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

What do you call a cow in an earthquake?

A milkshake.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage.

The zoo keeper told me it was bread in captivity.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

I was driving to the airport to catch my flight when I saw a sign that said: “Airport Left”.

So I turned around and went home.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

What is a pumpkin's circumference divided by a pumpkin's diameter?

Pumpkin Pi

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

Just so everybody's clear...

I’m going to put my glasses on.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

My wife thinks it’s weird that I stare at the window during a heavy rainstorm.

It would be a lot less weird if she’d just let me in.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

Today, I saw someone waving and I wasn’t sure whether they were waving at me or at someone behind me.

In other news, I was fired from my lifeguard job.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar.

You can’t tell me that’s a coincidence!

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

My friend keeps saying "cheer up mate, it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water!"

I know he means well.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

I put up a high-voltage electric fence around my property over the weekend.

My neighbour is dead against it.