Hi All
Sorry I've been awol. For the last month, I've been off the radar and well, self consumed might be a term I could use, but a few things have snapped me back into the real world, instead of my own. Today in particular. Just to clear something up with me, I undertake CAPD dialysis, which I do at home. This is not the same as Haemodialysis, where people go into the clinic 3 times a week to watch their blood pumped out and around a number of filters, whilst they sit in a chair for around 6 hours. I have a catheter which was implanted in me in October last year. It goes into my peritoneal cavity and has a lead, which is about 1/2 metre long, which I strap to my stomach. I do what they call an exchange 3-4 times a day, where I fill the cavity with 2 litres of fluid and a few hours later, drain it back out. It takes a bit of getting used to and after a while, becomes second nature. There is a mind set that comes with this that I think Eddie would identify with, two Id's for a lack of a better term. The first Id is your outgoing side, which keeps you going and allows you to face the hurdles as they come. A good sense of humour helps promote this. Then there is the other id, the one you try to hold at bay, as it comes in with the dark clouds and the 'why did this happen to me' thoughts. Over the last month, I've had a phosphate rash. The only way I can describe it to you is like living in an ants nest, 24 hours a day. You don't sleep and it sends you to the other id. That's where I was until the last week and it's taken an almighty effort to come back. Then today, I saw him.
I had to spend most of the day in clinic for testing. About half way through it a women came in, she would have been mid to late 40's and behind her came in a young bloke, who I thought may have been 20 ish. The first thing that struck me was the white cane, he was blind. They helped him into a seat and he pulled out the same catheter I have to start his dialysis. It broke my heart to see someone his age going through both blindness and kidney failure. I didn't know what to say, so I just said your too young to be here mate. His mum turned to me with a smile and said this is what too much alcohol and partying will do to you. It must have been an old joke with them as the young bloke broke out into one of the most wonderful smiles I have ever seen. At that point, I felt like giving myself a few uppercuts. That was also the moment I knew I was back and ready to get back into it.
So, please forgive my absence. I am currently seeking endorsement from a well known community group and will continue to work on this until we see it through.
