Thought for the day

[Wahesh]

 

[Berries]

I could burn the Harbour Bridge and nothing will erase Des Hasler and Josh Reynolds ruining this club the last five years

 

[Wolfmother]

not pointing fingers but

 

[Wahesh]

A professor walked into class one day ready to give his lecture to his students.

He pulled out a jar filled with golf balls. He asked his students if the jar was full, to which they all replied yes. He then pulled out a bag filled with little pebbles and began filling the jar with them, and the pebbles fell between the gaps held up by the golf balls. He then asked the students again, if the jar was full. Again they replied yes. He then pulled out another bag filled with sand. He poured the sand into the jar and the sand began falling between all the small air spaces upheld by the golf balls and pebbles. He asked the same question, and got the same answer.

After this, the professor pulled out 2 cups of coffee.

He began pouring the contents of both cups into the jar, and, as expected, the hot liquid easily managed to fall between the air spaces upheld by the balls, pebbles and sand.

The professor then said:

"This jar represents your life. The golf balls represent your main priorities, such as your family, your home, your job. The pebbles represent the other minor things in your life, such as your car, your clothing and your food. The sand represents things which do not take a priority in your life, such as the clothes you wear at home, the contents of your desk drawer, or what tv shows you watch. But just remember, no matter how full, how busy your life it, you always have time for a cup of coffee with a friend."

 

[Hacky McAxe]

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.

As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.

Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenage son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn’t the same elephant.

 

[Bad Billy]

Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the balls ?

 

[Wahesh]

Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the balls ?

Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the balls? No one will ever know!

 

[Hacky McAxe]

Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the balls? No one will ever know!

What about Arnold Swartzenegger?

 

[Moedogg]

Surely getting kicked in the balls is far worse than the pain experienced when giving birth . Imagine getting constantly kicked in the balls for the same period it takes to give birth......

 

[Bob dog]

Philosophy is a wonderful thing, the Commies tell me Im trying to be a God, I say no, you picked a war and I had to fight it.
If I look good doing it well good.

 

[The DoggFather]

Fat man walk sideways through door Bangkok.

Man who fall asleep with itchy arsehole wakes up with smelly finger.

 

[Wahesh]

What about Arnold Swartzenegger?

The was a C section.

 

[CroydonDog]

A professor walked into class one day ready to give his lecture to his students.

He pulled out a jar filled with golf balls. He asked his students if the jar was full, to which they all replied yes. He then pulled out a bag filled with little pebbles and began filling the jar with them, and the pebbles fell between the gaps held up by the golf balls. He then asked the students again, if the jar was full. Again they replied yes. He then pulled out another bag filled with sand. He poured the sand into the jar and the sand began falling between all the small air spaces upheld by the golf balls and pebbles. He asked the same question, and got the same answer.

After this, the professor pulled out 2 cups of coffee.

He began pouring the contents of both cups into the jar, and, as expected, the hot liquid easily managed to fall between the air spaces upheld by the balls, pebbles and sand.

The professor then said:

"This jar represents your life. The golf balls represent your main priorities, such as your family, your home, your job. The pebbles represent the other minor things in your life, such as your car, your clothing and your food. The sand represents things which do not take a priority in your life, such as the clothes you wear at home, the contents of your desk drawer, or what tv shows you watch. But just remember, no matter how full, how busy your life it, you always have time for a cup of coffee with a friend."

The original joke (which pre dates the internet) involves a beer and has the punchline "there's always room for beer".

That reminds me to go to the bottlo today.

 

[Wahesh]

The Non-Conformist Bird

Winter was coming, and the birds decided to fly south to escape the unforgiving bitter cold. There was a non-conformist bird in this party who decided to fly north instead.

As he began his journey, he was caught up in the middle of a strong blizzard. After a few minutes, the birds wings froze and he crashed onto a rural farm land. As he lay there quite literally freezing to death, a cow who happened to be passing by unloaded quite a large dump on the poor little bird.

While the bird lay there covered in cow dung, freezing to death, he wondered why he went against the flock and started to regret his decision. After a few minutes, the fresh cow dung started to warm the little bird up. He was happy again. He was able to move his wings and knew that in a few minutes he would be able to free himself from the dung. So he started to sing and whistle.

A wolf lurking in the woods heard the commotion and came by to investigate. He saw the little bird stuck in the dung, and, moved the dung off him, and, abruptly gobbled him up.

This story has 3 morals:

(1) The person who dumps crap on you isn't necessarily your enemy
(2) The person who takes the crap off you isn't necessarily your enemy
(3) If you're sitting neck-deep covered in shit and enjoying it, don't sing and make a commotion otherwise the wolf will come and eat you up!

 

[Wahesh]

 

[Bob dog]

Commies who try to ban everything in other peoples homes, never heard of such shit, fuck your bans.

 

[The DoggFather]

Thought of the day...

Don't start nothing, it won't be nothing.

 

[MatstaDogg]

"Take it easy and if it's easy, take it"
- my dad's advice on life and women

 

[Mr Invisible]

Less time spent arguing/sulking/anxious, is more time spent solving the problem faced.

Wifey and I employ the arguement one in our marriage/relationship. Why spend 20-30-60 minutes at each others throats over an issue, when that time can be better spent solving the issue

 

[Bob dog]

Spitefulness, people should be able to say good luck to them who gives a shit.