Simpsons Quote Thread

[smingers]

[Santa's Little Helper goes off running with George Bush, leaving Homer all alone]
Homer: I guess you might say he's barking up the wrong Bush.
Homer's Brain: There it is, Homer. The cleverest thing you'll ever say and nobody heard it.
Homer: D'oh.

 

[dragons_princess]

Marge: Homer, when are you going to give up this crazy sugar scheme?
Homer: Never, Marge. Never. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors -- oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"

 

[Captain Kickass]

"Well .... if you wanted to make Serok the Preparer cry ..... Misson Accomplished !"

"There's no emoticon for what I'm feeling !"

Film Critic : "How do you sleep at night ?"
McBAin : "On top of a BIG pile of money ... with MANY beautiful ladies !"

 

[Ben Godberts]

Homer: You signed my name

Marge: You sign my name all the the time

Homer: But this isn't a loan application or a will, you signed away my dignity and i'm going to get it back, Lisa am i wearing pants

Lisa: Yes

Homer: good

 

[Shanked]

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman.

 

[Mr. Sparkle]

Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)

Wiggum: I'm looking for my friend Bill, have you seen any bills around here lately
Homer: No... He's Bart.
Wiggum: Let me put it this way, and watch me wink as I speak, the guy I'm really looking for is Mr. Bribe wink wink, Have you seen any bribes? wink wink.
Homer: It's a ring toss game!
Wiggum: Alright I'm shutting you down!

Following on:
Carney: Why didn't you bribe him?
Homer:The opportunity never came up

 

[K E]

LOL. "It's a ring toss game"

Birch Barlow: Sideshow Bob, Councilmen Les Wynan says you're not experienced enough to be mayor. Sir, what do you have to say about that?

Sideshow Bob: Well, I'd say that Les Wynan ought to do more thinking and less whineing.

 

[cmrn]

Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)

Wiggum: I'm looking for my friend Bill, have you seen any bills around here lately
Homer: No... He's Bart.
Wiggum: Let me put it this way, and watch me wink as I speak, the guy I'm really looking for is Mr. Bribe wink wink, Have you seen any bribes? wink wink.
Homer: It's a ring toss game!
Wiggum: Alright I'm shutting you down!

Following on:
Carney: Why didn't you bribe him?
Homer:The opportunity never came up

lol

wiggum: well well well... look who's here... mr no bribe!
sure we'll help you, just sit down and wait for detective like I give a damn!

homer: thankyou so much!

bart: uh dad?

homer: sssh... daddy's waiting for the detective

 

[K E]

Homer: Bart, I don't want to alarm you but there may be a boogieman or boogiemen in the house.

Bort: AAAHHH!

 

[K E]

Homer: How could you do this, Marge? How can you desert your children?

Lisa: Have a blast, mum.

Bart: Rock the cazbah!

Homer: Man's best friend indeed.

 

[cmrn]

bingo!

what did i win?

A BANANA?

a whole one?

YEP

 

[K E]

You know the door was open, Chief Breakeverything.

 

[K E]

Homer: Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset. Cats in the cradle and the silver spoon. Yes, we have no bananas. *cries*

Midge: Our boy is growing up, isn't he?

Homer: No it's not that. Didn't you hear the song? They have no bananas. They have no bananas! *runs off crying*

 

[dragons_princess]

Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)

 

[Sandra's Bollocks]

Daas is not ein a boobie!

 

[Malla]

Bodyguard episode is the best ever

 

[K E]

Your loyalty is to your protectee. Not to your family, not to your country, not Mohammed.

Homer: Not even during Ramadan?

 

[Captain Kickass]

Titanya: But Duffman, you said if I slept with you I wouldn't have to touch the drunk!
Duffman: Duffman... says a lot of things! Oh, yeah!

 

[Shanked]

Reverend Lovejoy: Marge, just about everything's a sin. [holds up a Bible] Y'ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we're not supposed to go to the bathroom.

Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

 

[Mr. Sparkle]

Ralph: Hi Principal Skinner, Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers