Simpsons Quote Thread

[dragons_princess]

Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."

 

[K E]

:love: Lionel Hutz. Was my second favourite character up until his btch wife killed him. Rot in hell you whore.

Skinner: Excuse me, is there an Orange Julius stand on this floor?
LH: I'll sell you this one it's almost full.
Skinner: Well why don't I drink out of a toilet bowl?
LH: He'll be back.

 

[dragons_princess]

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
Homer: Woo-hoo!

 

[K E]

Want to know something sad about Phil Hartman?

When Matt Groening first made Futurama, he made a character just for Phil Hartman. The character was Zapp Brannigan. Matt said the part was his, he didn't even need to audition. Hartman insisted he audition like everyone else, he auditioned and nailed the part. He was to start in a fortnight's time, the next week he was murdered by his whore wife.

 

[Rodzilla]

i can replace your limb for $129.95!!!:amazed:

 

[K E]

TM: Doctor, are you sure it's on?! I can't hear a thing!
NR: It's whisper quiet!

 

[K E]

1800-DOCTORB. The "B" is for "bargain."

 

[dragons_princess]

Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him.

 

[K E]

Homer: There you go again, always taking someone else's side. Flanders, the water department, God.

 

[dragons_princess]

Homer: Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems.

(I need to get out LOL)

 

[K E]

I have a beer mug with that written on it LOL

 

[dragons_princess]

I have a beer mug with that written on it LOL

Hahaha

Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

I am crying too funny

 

[zappa]

Homer: Revenge? On Mr. Burns? Lenny: Mm. Send him magazine subscriptions he don' t want! Moe: Or give him some face time with sweet lady brick! ...

Moe: I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff.

Moe: Hi, my name's Moe. Or as the ladies like to refer to me, 'hey you in the bushes'

Renee (Moe’s girlfriend): Really, you think I’m gorgeous?
Moe: Yeah, well the parts that are showing. I guess you could have a lot of weird scars or a fake ass or something.
Renee: You don’t talk to a lot of women do you?

Gotta love Moe!

 

[smingers]

Homer: If he can teach a class then even he can teach a class...i mean I can teach a class.

 

[K E]

Moe: No, without further Apu.

Apu: I have been zinged and I love it.

 

[smingers]

Abe: Just eat the damn Orange!

 

[dragons_princess]

Marge: Homer, is this how you pictured married life?
Homer: Yeah, pretty much, except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.

 

[K E]

Mayor Quimby: Homer, I'm not sure it's, ah, wise to go out right now. I was thinking of a quiet evening at home with the, ah.......*sigh* wife.

Homer: Oh, I get it. You're afraid of those mobsters aren't you?

Mayor Quimby: No, no I truly do want to stay home with the, ah.......*sigh* wife.

 

[smingers]

Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star

 

[smingers]

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.