Thanks for sharing, it really helps people better understand what you and many other people go through. The more stories we all hear the greater the awareness and the potential to help someone else also suffering.
Since 2012 I have had 5 different shrinks and booted them all. They are a part of the transplant process so I was forced to do the sessions.
Even if you aren't nuts those ***** will drive you nuts. I swear it's like they want you to be suicidal and take every word you say as a threat.
In summer I was in there and the AC shit itself for 3 days, now being in a CCU unit with extreme heart conditions, we don't handle heat very well. I was joking around with my mate across the bed from me jokingly asking "you think the window will break if I throw this chair at it?" (Because they were fixed glass windows). Next morning I woke up to professors, doctors and a shrink telling me I'm on suicide watch. A nurse snitched and twisted the story so it sounded like I was going to jump out the window.
Anyways, being St Vincent's is a Catholic hospital, they send "councillors" who are incolved in the church to have a chat and take our minds of our impending deaths basically. I ended up being assigned a young Nigerian guy who was fkn awesome and got me talking without even realizing it. He had a mad accent and had a hard life escaping there and making something of himself here.
Moral of the story, if something doesn't work for you, don't get turned off and keep going, the right person will come along and help you more than you ever know.
I myself always help out when I'm in there. The doctors get me to talk to pre and post transplant patients. I basically copped everything bad you can cop both pre and post transplant. Sometimes a person who has gone what you're going through is smarter than the smartest professor in the hospital.