Blonde Jokes

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..shurrup..

..shurrup..

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too bad if you have already heard them!

There was a blonde, a brunette and a red head....they died and Jesus came to them...He said: " i am going to tell you 100 jokes, if you dont start laughing you will go to heaven!"

the brunette was first she started laughing at the first joke so was sent to hell
the red head went next, she started laughing after the third joke, she also went to hell

the blonde haired girl got up to the 99th joke and started lauging...
Jesus said, "what is wrong with you, you had one more joke left?"

she replied,






"i just got the first joke!"




next joke:

a naturally blonde haired chick dyed her hair brown....she went up to a farmer, she said to him if i can count your sheep, can i have one? he said yes....so she counted his sheep and he said she could have one....so she picked one up and put it into her car.....the farmer then said, "if i can guess your natural hair colour, can i have my dog back?"
 
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kennyy

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they are both poor at best :P

A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender,"Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair - giving that you are blind - that you should know five things:
1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.
2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3 - I'm a 6 feet tall, 160 LB. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.
5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.
Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke? The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares,
"Nah, ......................................................
Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
 
..shurrup..

..shurrup..

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lol ^ ^

but mine are good too!! shame you dont get them :P were you born a blonde?
 
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kennyy

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not blonde but still ok
An Australian is sitting at a bar in New York City and looks at his watch several times in the space of a few minutes.

The woman sitting nearby notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

"No," he replies, "I have this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

The Aussie explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."

The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"

"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."

The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!''

The Aussie smirks, taps his watch and says, "Bloody thing's running about an hour fast, can I buy you a drink?
 
S

smingers

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What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?

When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.


A brunnette and a blonde were having a conversation about their boyfriends and the brunnette was discussing how her boyfriend has really bad dandruff. The blonde then added that hers did too. The brunnette then asked
"Have you tried giving him head and shoulders?"

The blonde replied
"I've tried head but I've never tried shoulders"



A blonde, brunette and a red head were all at work one day. Their boss who is a very sexy woman, had been leaving her work early for the last few days. The brunette picks up on this and informs the red head about the situation, only to come to the conclusion that they should leave early too.
So they discuss this with the blonde and they all agree to leave 10 mins after their boss.
They all left and the blonde goes home, only to find her husband sleeping with the blondes boss in her bed. Devistated and shocked the blonde ran out of the room.
The next day the brunette and red head approached the blonde and said
"Are you going to leave early again today?"

she then replied
"Oh God no! I nearly got busted yesterday!"
 
..shurrup..

..shurrup..

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LMAOOOO lol ^ ^ saw it coming though!!- the watch joke

heres another...not blonde:

this man donated his blood to his wife....about a year later they separated and he said to her "give me my blood back"

she threw her tampon at him and replied, "i'll pay you back monthly!"
 
bLaQDoG..

bLaQDoG..

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i wouldnt worry krissy - kenny is a blonde..

once this thread reaches 7 pages he'll finally get your jokes and start posting these pics in this thread -> :roflol:
 
bLaQDoG..

bLaQDoG..

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Q. What do you call a blonde inbetween two brunettes?
A. A Mental Block


Q. What's a blondes idea of having safe sex?
A. Locking the car door.


Heres the best one..

Q. What goes blonde... brunette... blonde... brunette... ?






































A naked blonde doing cartwheels.
 
Ö

Özil

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lame lame lame...

only AC has the best blonde joke ever
 
..shurrup..

..shurrup..

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bLaQDoG.. said:
i wouldnt worry krissy - kenny is a blonde..

once this thread reaches 7 pages he'll finally get your jokes and start posting these pics in this thread -> :roflol:
Click to expand...
HAHAHHAHAHHA LMAOOOO

and lmaoooo at ur jokes!!
 
Ö

Özil

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i do have a sense of humour bro...

but your jokes are lame why do i have to laugh at something that is stupid?
 
OTTO

OTTO

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what do you call a blonde at a party
a box of assorted creams
 
W

Willie Talol'd

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What do a Blonde and a Turtle have in common?

When they are on their backs, they are fcuked...
 
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