Dementia Help

[Dogiezz]

Hi people,

Just wondering if anyone has had to deal with it before, with their family?

I have read lots, still learning

Shit illness! I never knew, just through it was memory loss.

My dad has it, he's dropped so much, quickly... really bad. We are in NSW. He's in good health otherwise.

My age care been difficult, waiting list, phone operators been really difficult, like they don't want to help.

Doctors just act like it's normal but do fuck all!

I quit work to help out with this and everything else.

Called Dementia Australia.. Only offering advice, like who to call. Called who they advised and no help. Operators were both nice and caring.

I want to do the best for my father and I understand it will cost lots, unfortunately.

For whatever reason, we are not liking the idea of respite care. Should we like it?

He has stopped eating / drinking so much, showering cause says "water cold" and doesn't move from the lounge. Gets angry when we try help him. I could go on...

We are at the point of calling private emergency for help... When we called Westmead emergency ambulance recently, they told us to go to a local doctor, who then sent us to emergency, wtf? Then sent him home after tests.

Any advice will be greatly appreciated, we want to do what is best.

Thank you!

 

[Doogie]

Hi people,

Just wondering if anyone has had to deal with it before, with their family?

I have read lots, still learning

Shit illness! I never knew, just through it was memory loss.

My dad has it, he's dropped so much, quickly... really bad. We are in NSW. He's in good health otherwise.

My age care been difficult, waiting list, phone operators been really difficult, like they don't want to help.

Doctors just act like it's normal but do fuck all!

I quit work to help out with this and everything else.

Called Dementia Australia.. Only offering advice, like who to call. Called who they advised and no help. Operators were both nice and caring.

I want to do the best for my father and I understand it will cost lots, unfortunately.

For whatever reason, we are not liking the idea of respite care. Should we like it?

He has stopped eating / drinking so much, showering cause says "water cold" and doesn't move from the lounge. Gets angry when we try help him. I could go on...

We are at the point of calling private emergency for help... When we called Westmead emergency ambulance recently, they told us to go to a local doctor, who then sent us to emergency, wtf? Then sent him home after tests.

Any advice will be greatly appreciated, we want to do what is best.

Thank you!

PM me up - looked after a father in law for 10 years in our house and have recently been through same with mother in law. Happy to answer questions where I can.

 

[Psycho Doggie]

Keep trying with the ACAT team, and also the GP. It often seems to be a matter of who you talk to. Some get it, some don't. The anger is a real thing with dementia sufferers, even the most mild mannered people get shouty with dementia. This is part of the reason it is especially difficult for family members to be carers, it can do your head in. Intellectually you can know all about the illness and what happens, but emotionally you are wired over so many years to have a particular relationship with this person, but dementia has changed the rules. It is difficult to adjust. This is one of the reasons respite care exists, to help carers not burn out. Another reason is to see how your loved one responds to that kind of care.

There are of course plenty of horror stories in aged care, but the majority of them seem to happen with elderly people who have no family. Frequent visits are associated with better care, which kinda makes sense, we are all humans after all.

 

[Alan79]

I work in an aged care facility. In sure there are horror stories, but for the most part the carers do the best they can where I can see. It's a frustrating job and I think it'd be even more frustrating if you didn't get to go home and decompress after 8 hours. So respite care should always be an option for you just so you can have a bit of a break.

 

[Dogiezz]

Thank you all for the replies I really appreciate it!

 

[Gene Krupa]

@Dogiezz

I have a family friend who is going through the same thing.

I think there isn't much money for aged care packages.

Apply for an aged care assessment online

Use the online application to apply quickly and easily for your aged care assessment.

www.myagedcare.gov.au

 

[Memberberries]

I think my mum might be in early stage of dementia?
In the evening she has trouble understanding basic words, will get snappy with me about it and also really struggles with parking these days.

Also she just rolls over like a bitch and let's other people treat her like shit.

Back when she was my age she had a backbone and would speak up for herself.
She even bashed 2 of my brothers girlfriends at the same time.

They said to my brother what's that stupid old bitch going to do?
She almost killed them with her bare hands like a mother grizzly bear lol

 

[B-Train]

I'm really sorry to hear that @Dogiezz

My Grandfather struggled with it for several years. He kept getting worse towards the end where he couldn't swallow properly, walked out of the house Naked etc..

Unfortunately now I think my Grandmother who is 85 is showing bad signs and getting worse whereas up until a 6 months ago she was pretty fine.. Now she's wandering off, can't remember much, won't eat etc.. She lives by herself after my Grandfather died seven years ago..

It's on my mind every day, I constantly do shopping for her and take her over food and spend time with her but I can't be there all of the time and it's incredibly difficult on family members. We're in the same situation now. We don't know what to do. I'm suggesting she moves in with my Mum or that we all stay over there and take turns so someone is there every night...

I feel your pain, I'm sorry you're going through it and wish you luck but through my experience it's just something you have to manage and it depends on how much work you and your family have the time to put in..

 

[Kung fu man]

Hi people,

Just wondering if anyone has had to deal with it before, with their family?

I have read lots, still learning

Shit illness! I never knew, just through it was memory loss.

My dad has it, he's dropped so much, quickly... really bad. We are in NSW. He's in good health otherwise.

My age care been difficult, waiting list, phone operators been really difficult, like they don't want to help.

Doctors just act like it's normal but do fuck all!

I quit work to help out with this and everything else.

Called Dementia Australia.. Only offering advice, like who to call. Called who they advised and no help. Operators were both nice and caring.

I want to do the best for my father and I understand it will cost lots, unfortunately.

For whatever reason, we are not liking the idea of respite care. Should we like it?

He has stopped eating / drinking so much, showering cause says "water cold" and doesn't move from the lounge. Gets angry when we try help him. I could go on...

We are at the point of calling private emergency for help... When we called Westmead emergency ambulance recently, they told us to go to a local doctor, who then sent us to emergency, wtf? Then sent him home after tests.

Any advice will be greatly appreciated, we want to do what is best.

Thank you!

Its a shit illness i have a close family member who relies on my help with early but definate signs of it, my old man's late 80s did his hip ,lost my wife all in the last 5 months just cant take a trick i can't help with what to do but i know i'll be in your position very soon . After working in a nursing home i'm not to sure there's an answer i think people do there best for as long as they can until it gets to a stage where they can be in a home and not understand whats happening.

 

[Dogiezz]

Thank you for all the replies, I really appreciate it and sincerely wish you all the best! We just have to keep moving forward.

Thank you!

 

[wendog33]

It's tough and painfully hard to deal with and understand

Have love in your heart and try to have the patience that's needed for your loved one to give them as much respect and dignity as family are able to provide.

Have no regrets in the time and the care that you can give to help with the loss.

 

[Dogiezz]

Thanks for all the replies. Everybody's reply!, I appreciate it. Thank you all sincerely

I've taken over everything for my parents. Another headache.. If I vent on this, I'll need to start another post / thread. Fuck these corrupt insurance companies!
Complain to Gio, sends me to Suncorp.. Suncorp has been rude, clearly, doesn't know what they are are on about. Do I complain to suncorp or go straight to AFCA? Been 11 months.. for damaged a damaged house ×2.

Really drained today, dealing with health care workers, in person, on the phone, emails.. They are all nice but feel they go off a check list.. again really nice

Frustrated!

I apologies if I sound like a bitch..I'm lost and want to help my dad! / family.

 

[Kung fu man]

Thanks for all the replies. Everybody's reply!, I appreciate it. Thank you all sincerely

I've taken over everything for my parents. Another headache.. If I vent on this, I'll need to start another post / thread. Fuck these corrupt insurance companies!
Complain to Gio, sends me to Suncorp.. Suncorp has been rude, clearly, doesn't know what they are are on about. Do I complain to suncorp or go straight to AFCA? Been 11 months.. for damaged a damaged house ×2.

Really drained today, dealing with health care workers, in person, on the phone, emails.. They are all nice but feel they go off a check list.. again really nice

Frustrated!

I apologies if I sound like a bitch..I'm lost and want to help my dad! / family.

Mate its shit but ill give you a heads up go straight to thier facebook page and let everyone know what''s going on, when my wife died her super fund acted like assholes until i shamed them on thier FB page within 1 day they started to act and they even contacted me and retrained the idiot that i was talking to in claims saying his response was inadequate you shouldnt have to do this but it worked for me and they didn't stop until everything was complete!

 

[N4TE]

Thanks for all the replies. Everybody's reply!, I appreciate it. Thank you all sincerely

I've taken over everything for my parents. Another headache.. If I vent on this, I'll need to start another post / thread. Fuck these corrupt insurance companies!
Complain to Gio, sends me to Suncorp.. Suncorp has been rude, clearly, doesn't know what they are are on about. Do I complain to suncorp or go straight to AFCA? Been 11 months.. for damaged a damaged house ×2.

Really drained today, dealing with health care workers, in person, on the phone, emails.. They are all nice but feel they go off a check list.. again really nice

Frustrated!

I apologies if I sound like a bitch..I'm lost and want to help my dad! / family.

Mate it’s shit and there is no correct answer I’ll guess you will live through it and be able to maybe give someone else advice down the path. Which is a lovely thing to be able to do for someone.

 

[Mr 95%]

I apologies if I sound like a bitch..I'm lost and want to help my dad! / family.

Mate NEVER apologise..that’s what we are here for.. Strength to you ..

 

[InGusWeTrust]

I'm really sorry to hear that @Dogiezz

My Grandfather struggled with it for several years. He kept getting worse towards the end where he couldn't swallow properly, walked out of the house Naked etc..

Unfortunately now I think my Grandmother who is 85 is showing bad signs and getting worse whereas up until a 6 months ago she was pretty fine.. Now she's wandering off, can't remember much, won't eat etc.. She lives by herself after my Grandfather died seven years ago..

It's on my mind every day, I constantly do shopping for her and take her over food and spend time with her but I can't be there all of the time and it's incredibly difficult on family members. We're in the same situation now. We don't know what to do. I'm suggesting she moves in with my Mum or that we all stay over there and take turns so someone is there every night...

I feel your pain, I'm sorry you're going through it and wish you luck but through my experience it's just something you have to manage and it depends on how much work you and your family have the time to put in..

Shit is fucked aye? Dementia seems to affect so many. My nan died with/from it. She spent her final years in a nursing home. No other option as she was considered a danger to herself staying at home. I think if possible it’s probably the best thing for them, albeit incredibly sad. On the other side, my dad’s step mum lived her days out alone in her home of many years even though she had Parkinson’s disease.

 

[B-Train]

Shit is fucked aye? Dementia seems to affect so many. My nan died with/from it. She spent her final years in a nursing home. No other option as she was considered a danger to herself staying at home. I think if possible it’s probably the best thing for them, albeit incredibly sad. On the other side, my dad’s step mum lived her days out alone in her home of many years even though she had Parkinson’s disease.

Sorry to hear that man.. Yeah either way it takes an incredible toll on them and the family.

 

[Dogiezz]

Really fucked! Sorry to hear that.

We bit the bullet, had emergency come out and take him to hospital. That's the best for his health.

 

[Bad Billy]

Shit go brother.
sorry, I’ve got nothing to offer you except an ear if you need to talk.
don’t forget to take time to look after yourself.

 

[Gene Krupa]

We bit the bullet, had emergency come out and take him to hospital. That's the best for his health.

It's best for your health & wellbeing as well.