Exactly right
@The Eye
As a child I dreamed of becoming a fullback, policeman, fireman, securtity guard, paramedic or something that people want to be. But no one tells you how hard it is to grow up in a place like Breakfast Point. I grew up with a father and mother you may think that’s not bad, but it was hell. I watched my mother get up at 5am in the morning and not return from work till 6 in the evening and she would just lay there exhausted. Now my father was a salesman that used to go on business trips and not return for days at a time. He used to try and make it up to us by taking us to football games (where I developed my love of the bulldogs/souths) and buy toys in a thinly veiled guilt trip and to buy my love. I would hide from him in a closet that was in the hallway. I would shiver with fear and I would cry but my tears didn’t mean anything to my parents.
My uncle that lived in the unit next door would bring many different women into his home because of the view of the harbour and have sexual encounters with them.
So as I grew I was alone and ran to the neighbourhood gang which was ran by a guy named Noel and we would put bungers in letterboxes and run away and do knock and runs, and also I would shout things at people from the safety of our car. I would say stuff like 'youre old' when driving past an old couple and 'hey baby you want some?' to hot girls who made a mis-turn and were unfortunate enough to find themselves wandering lone around the bad parts of the suburb. I also sold laser pointers and ritalin tablets because I needed the money and stole a nintendo.
I remember that one time I went to Noels crack house and all these women where there and they were all naked. One guy came in and said he wanted marijuana and Noel said if he had the money for the other drugs Noel had given him and he said no that he wasn’t going to pay so Noel took out a knife and the guy got on his knees and said “please don’t stab me I have your money at home” but Noel had no mercy and one of the other gangsters who rolled with us named Garth punched him in the head. The women got scared but stayed there anyway.
After a few years of this life I got bored and wanted to get out so I told Noel and the Breakfast Point boys I wanted out, and he told me to leave but never come back because the moment I walked out will be the moment I walk out of his life and to never come back to the area and I took the chance and ran with it!
I moved to Granville and met a few wonderful girls and started seeing them and I was the happiest man alive and never looked back.
I still wonder how my family are doing and if they are ok but I know that I can never go back and the best I can do is get the message to them to go on Skype and chat.
A few years ago, one of the boys I did bad shit with named Nassar tracked me down and made the effort to come see me and met me at Awafi, he begged me for my forgiveness for when he stole my Terry Lamb poster (i didnt know it was him) and when he called me a wankstain once and I forgave him, because I could see he was making a true effort to turn himself around and find his own redemption. I saw a bit of myself in him and I was satisfied that one of the painful memories of the past had been laid to rest.
Although I learnt how to forgive and forget, the scars still remain.
-Nasheed.
