Really bad jokes

[DinkumDog]

@Moedogg reminds me of the two blokes who run into each other at Woolies:

#1: 'Sorry mate, just looking for my wife and didn't see you there'.
#2: 'No worries, I'm looking for my wife too'.
#1: 'What does she look like?'
#2: '180cm, long tanned legs, blonde hair and big boobs - what does yours look like?'
#1: 'Nevermind, let's look for your wife' .

 

[Moedogg]

@Moedogg reminds me of the two blokes who run into each other at Woolies:

#1: 'Sorry mate, just looking for my wife and didn't see you there'.
#2: 'No worries, I'm looking for my wife too'.
#1: 'What does she look like?'
#2: '180cm, long tanned legs, blonde hair and big boobs - what does yours look like?'
#1: 'Nevermind, let's look for your wife' .

LOL!!

 

[Hacky McAxe]

 

[Smartseal]

View attachment 21719

Rofpml
I sitting here waiting for a MRI & everyone looking at me cacking myself.

Thank you sir a good start to the day

 

[BlackJackBulldog]

 

[BlackJackBulldog]

 

[Grunthos]

Jesus was taking walk around heaven one day and he comes across an old man who had just arrived.
The man looked sad and dejected but Jesus though, "Well its probably just a bit of a shock to
the system, it will take him a while to adjust, Ill give him some space."
A week or so later JC comes across the old man once again and he still looked miserable, the lord was perplexed.
"My dear friend, what's the matter, you are in heaven and can now want for nothing for the rest of eternity, you should be joyful."
The old man looks up at the lord and said, "On earth, I was a woodcarver and my only son wandered off at an early
age never to return. I searched the world high and low for many years to find him, and I finally hoped that if I couldn't
be with him on earth then hopefully we would be reunited in heaven, but I can find no trace of him even here."
Jesus's eyes filled with tears, "Farther!" he exclaimed.
The old man looked up his eyes brimming with tears, "Pinocchio!?"

 

[Grunthos]

I sometimes tell my sons they were an experiment that turned into an accident.


We don't talk as much nowadays.

 

[DinkumDog]

View attachment 22273

That’s like the 3 blokes who die on Christmas Eve. At the pearly gates St. Peter says, ‘It’s Christmas, we’re busy, so instead of the usual entry compliance checks, if you produce something Christmassy I’ll let you in’.

First bloke ruffles through his pockets and pulls out some wrapping paper. ‘Alright, in you go’ says Peter. Second bloke pulls a sprig of Holly from his pocket, so Peter opens the gate. The third bloke is looking a little worried - can’t seem to find anything appropriate - but then pulls out a pair of women’s panties. ‘And what does that represent?’ says St. Peter sternly. Without skipping a beat the bloke says ‘They’re Carols’ .