Dad jokes

[south of heaven]

How do you get a nun pregnant ?
Dress her as an alterboy

 

[Wahesh]

How do you get a nun pregnant ?
Dress her as an alterboy

Don’t get?

 

[Wahesh]

Btw did you hear about the ethopian who fell into an alligator pit? He ate 4 of the bastards before they could get him out

As @Mr Invisible would say, Brutal!
LMAO

 

[south of heaven]

Don’t get?

Preist dont fuck nuns ,but the sure as hell fuck alterboys

 

[south of heaven]

What’s Whitney Houston’s favourite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

 

[south of heaven]

Did you hear about the Italian Chef that died?
He pasta way.

 

[belmore_utd]

this is actually pretty good haha

Had to lift the standard a little. It was quite depressing read some of those

 

[south of heaven]

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Follow the fresh prints.

 

[south of heaven]

What do you call a fat psychic?
A four-chin teller

 

[belmore_utd]

A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said: “Fuck off, you won’t bring it back.

 

[belmore_utd]

Dyslexic man walks into a bra.

 

[belmore_utd]

Two black guys are strolling along at a state fair. They come upon a gypsy's tent with a sign in front that reads TURN WHITE FOR ONLY $15.

The black guys look at each other and figure, "Fuck it, why not? Should be good for a laugh." They go through their pockets; one comes up with only $10, but his buddy has a 20.

"I've got it!" the first guy says. "Take your 20 and go in there, then come back with the 5 in change and I can go in." The second guy agrees, and walks into the tent.

Several minutes go by. The first guy is getting antsy. Suddenly, the flap of the tent opens and out walks the most perfect Aryan specimen of a man you ever did see: tall, well-built, great posture, pale skin, blue eyes and hair like golden flax. He's even wearing a new suit.

The first black guy is ecstatic. "Holy shit, it worked! Here, give me that $5 so I can do it too!"

The white guy looks at him and says "Fuck you nice guy, get a job."

 

[south of heaven]

Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child

 

[south of heaven]

How do you get a Jewish girl's number?
You roll up her sleeve.

 

[south of heaven]

Why can't ophans play baseball?
They don't know where home is

 

[south of heaven]

My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her.
So I hit her over the head with my Xbox.

 

[belmore_utd]

A family walks into a hotel. The father goes to the man at the front desk and says “I hope the porn is disabled”. The guy at the desk replies, “It’s just regular porn you sick fuck.”

 

[south of heaven]

A family walks into a hotel. The father goes to the man at the front desk and says “I hope the porn is disabled”. The guy at the desk replies, “It’s just regular porn you sick fuck.”

 

[CroydonDog]

My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her.
So I hit her over the head with my Xbox.

Using "console" as a verb. Very nice.

 

[The_Chimpster]

Really bad joke = the gayrl and the bulldogs current situation. Out of the many awful jokes that are are out there this one takes the cake, prize and lotto winnings