Polically Incorrect Joke-Of-The-Day THREAD.

[Gladiator.]

for you boots

why was the irishman waiting outside the brothel? he was waiting for the light to turn green


how does an irish woman get pregnant?

 

[Vargster]

Patrick O'Malley hoisted his beer and said: "Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!" - and he took home the top prize for the best toast of the night.

In bed later that night, he told his wife: "Mary, I won the prize for the best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, Paddy, what was your toast?"

So he told her: "Here's to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh," she said, "that is very nice, dear."

The next day, Mary ran into one of Paddy's drinking partners in the street. Mischievously, the man said: "Did you hear about your husband winning a prize in the pub the other night for a toast about you, Mary?"

She replied: "Aye - and I was a bit surprised. Till now, he's only been down there twice. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come"

 

[Vargster]

An Irish man is sitting a a bar drinking

A flamboyantly gay man comes up to him and asks, "can i give you a blow job?"

The Irishman stands up and punches the gay man.

The bar tender comes over and asks, "Why did you hit that guy?"

The Irish man replied, "He said somethin about me gettin a job"

 

[maltalian_dog]

A Greek and Italian were arguing over who had the superior culture. The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon."

Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, "We have the Coliseum."

The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics"

The Italian, nodding agreement, says, "But we built the Roman Empire."

And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion. With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!"

The Italian replies, "That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women."

Im part Italian so you can see why i like this one

 

[JackTheLad]

Patrick O'Malley hoisted his beer and said: "Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!" - and he took home the top prize for the best toast of the night.

In bed later that night, he told his wife: "Mary, I won the prize for the best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, Paddy, what was your toast?"

So he told her: "Here's to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh," she said, "that is very nice, dear."

The next day, Mary ran into one of Paddy's drinking partners in the street. Mischievously, the man said: "Did you hear about your husband winning a prize in the pub the other night for a toast about you, Mary?"

She replied: "Aye - and I was a bit surprised. Till now, he's only been down there twice. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come"

lol

 

[OTTO]

a dyslexic walked into a bra

did you hear about the devil worshipping dyslexic who sold his sould to santa?

lol classics.

what is an ipswich teenagers idea of safe sex?
A bus shelter

 

[Captain Kickass]

COMPLAINTS HAVE BEEN RECIEVED : In the event that the frequency of complaints and sources of complaint increases, the thread shall close in line with Kennel CoC.

Let it be noted to those users with concerns and issues regarding this thread's existence - Your concerns are NOT falling on deaf ears. - At a time when off-season is approaching and Mods are unavailable for extended periods, the nature of this thread is to funnel multiple other(potentially offensive) threads into ONE managable area.

• On one hand - I personally ackonwledge that posts within here are against the Kennel CoC

• On the other hand - This IS a pro-active moderation strategy designed for a test during off-season.

Please continue to REPORT any posts which you feel are blatantly against the theme of this thread : That being "Light-hearted banter" - Edits/Deletions will be made accordingly, and where necesary Warnings/Infractions issued.

Kind Regards
Captain Kickass.

 

[Mr Invisible]

Who is the aboriginal that complained and whose computer did he steal?

 

[Aristidiz]

what's a freeman

 

[Mitch Connor]

Polically......................................................................... Good work spastics lol

 

[Hog]

what do you call an abo in the freezer? stiff ****

how do you save a drowning abo? take your foot of his head

why are there so many lebos? adidas don't make condoms

an asian walks into a bar and there's a black bartender so the asian says
"beer prease nice guy"
the black guy says
"ummm excuse me"
the asian says
"I say beer prease nice guy"
the black guy says
"I find that very offensive sir! how would you like it if I talked to you like that? I know, you come stand behind the bar and we'll see how you like it"
so they switch places and the black man walks into the bar and says
"beer please gook"
and the asian says
"I sorry we no serve niggers here"

 

[Paint.]

what do you call an abo in the freezer? stiff ****

how do you save a drowning abo? take your foot of his head

why are there so many lebos? adidas don't make condoms

an asian walks into a bar and there's a black bartender so the asian says
"beer prease nice guy"
the black guy says
"ummm excuse me"
the asian says
"I say beer prease nice guy"
the black guy says
"I find that very offensive sir! how would you like it if I talked to you like that? I know, you come stand behind the bar and we'll see how you like it"
so they switch places and the black man walks into the bar and says
"beer please gook"
and the asian says
"I sorry we no serve niggers here"

should be g-star, tbh

 

[Q-Tip]

an asian walks into a bar and there's a black bartender so the asian says
"beer prease nice guy"
the black guy says
"ummm excuse me"
the asian says
"I say beer prease nice guy"
the black guy says
"I find that very offensive sir! how would you like it if I talked to you like that? I know, you come stand behind the bar and we'll see how you like it"
so they switch places and the black man walks into the bar and says
"beer please gook"
and the asian says
"I sorry we no serve niggers here"

I like.

 

[Hog]

The Pope gets shot on his visit to the UK and is rushed to hospital. On his way to the operating theatre he whispers to the nurse "Am I in Heaven?" "No" replied the nurse. "We're just taking a shortcut through the children's ward".

 

[Ghost of Dime]

I lost my position as a volunteer lifesaver at the local pool today, apparently clearing your throat and pointing to the 'No Bombing' sign as a family of muslims walk past is insensitive.

 

[Hog]

I lost my position as a volunteer lifesaver at the local pool today, apparently clearing your throat and pointing to the 'No Bombing' sign as a family of muslims walk past is insensitive.

nice

 

[Hog]

insert line about arabs playing hard to get here
[video=youtube;N01zQSh_WHQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N01zQSh_WHQ&feature=related[/video]

 

[Paint.]

An egyptian is riding his camel in the Sahara desert, going back home. He feels horny, having not had sex for a few months, at least, to he stops his camel, gets off, and starts chasing it. Unfortunately for him, the camel runs away. By the time he catches up to it, he decides that it's not worth having sex with the camel afterall, so he gets on and starts riding again.
After a while, he starts feeling horny again! He gets off and attempts to root his camel, but it starts to run away. While he was chasing it, he bumped into three sexy MILFs (yes KE, i did at that in for you), full with tank tops & mini shorts in the hot weather, big tits and all. They're standing next to a car with the front hood open, bending over and looking in. They see him, and, anxious, ask him if he knows how to fix their car. Now luckily for the man, he knew quite a thing about cars, and managed to fix it for them.
After they'd gotten it to work, the ladies told him that they'd do ANYTHING for him. He stood there wondering for a few minutes...
"Can you hold my camel still?"