Slippery
¯\_( '~')_/¯
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2008
- Messages
- 9,414
- Reaction score
- 41
08:30 - Wait in the carpark with hands on hips for everyone to arrive on time, like a boss.
08:45 - Players are in the sheds getting changed quickly whilst being wet towelled on the arse to hurry up. If towels are still in the wash, J-Hop is on standby.
09:00 - Players do 17 laps of the field on one leg for all the points they conceded in the 95 GF, even though none of them played.
-----OBSTACLE COURSE-----
09:35 - Crawl underneath barbed wire whilst live rounds are being fired at them.
09:40 - Scale ANZ Stadium without a rope while Jidris is throwing javelins at them.
09:50 - Use George Rose's stomach as a trampoline to jump over pits filled with sharks, crocodiles, and Des Hasler's hungry children.
10:20 - Dodge VB bottles hurled by drunken Manly supporters who turned up to the ground expecting to see a football.
10:30 - Play a real life game of snakes and ladders, without the ladders.
-----BREAK-----
Watch Des take a sledgehammer and destroy the joint because he does not like to have breaks. Not even Kit Kats.
Witness Tony Williams' 4th shirt tear apart out of sheer coincidence.
-----GAMES OF SKILL/ENDURANCE-----
11:30 - Treadmill races, where players have to actually pull the treadmill machines for 100m.
12:00 - Egg and spoon races, where players take a spoon and beat the shit out of their opposite's testicles to see who cracks first/last.
12:30 - Play tug of war with the team bus accelerating at full throttle. One player at a time only.
13:00 - Plank on hot coals for 15 minutes straight. David Williams for 30mins.
13:15 - Arm wrestling, until Steve Matai's alleged shoulder pops out for the 2593729836th time.
13:45 - Attach a tube to DCE's ear to see who can blow hard enough so his head fills to at least half the size of a normal human head.
-----BREAK-----
Observe Michael Robertson's helicopter penis routine.
Observe Des Hasler castrating Michael Robertson with a machete.
Eat & drink rations secretly snuck in through Cliff Lyons' moustache. Geoff Toovey's cauliflowers are currently off the menu.
15:00 - Shuttle runs, burpees, sit ups, leg ups, push ups, dips, sprints, walks, crawls, lie downs, gasps for air, and repeat.
16:45 - Head to the gym.
16:50 - Enter gym.
16:51 - Take steroids waiting for them on the front table.
16:53 - Exit the gym.
16:55 - Sprints towards the sheds. Last one in is a dead man.
17:15 - Change, and rest.
17:30 - Play Grand Final.
08:45 - Players are in the sheds getting changed quickly whilst being wet towelled on the arse to hurry up. If towels are still in the wash, J-Hop is on standby.
09:00 - Players do 17 laps of the field on one leg for all the points they conceded in the 95 GF, even though none of them played.
-----OBSTACLE COURSE-----
09:35 - Crawl underneath barbed wire whilst live rounds are being fired at them.
09:40 - Scale ANZ Stadium without a rope while Jidris is throwing javelins at them.
09:50 - Use George Rose's stomach as a trampoline to jump over pits filled with sharks, crocodiles, and Des Hasler's hungry children.
10:20 - Dodge VB bottles hurled by drunken Manly supporters who turned up to the ground expecting to see a football.
10:30 - Play a real life game of snakes and ladders, without the ladders.
-----BREAK-----
Watch Des take a sledgehammer and destroy the joint because he does not like to have breaks. Not even Kit Kats.
Witness Tony Williams' 4th shirt tear apart out of sheer coincidence.
-----GAMES OF SKILL/ENDURANCE-----
11:30 - Treadmill races, where players have to actually pull the treadmill machines for 100m.
12:00 - Egg and spoon races, where players take a spoon and beat the shit out of their opposite's testicles to see who cracks first/last.
12:30 - Play tug of war with the team bus accelerating at full throttle. One player at a time only.
13:00 - Plank on hot coals for 15 minutes straight. David Williams for 30mins.
13:15 - Arm wrestling, until Steve Matai's alleged shoulder pops out for the 2593729836th time.
13:45 - Attach a tube to DCE's ear to see who can blow hard enough so his head fills to at least half the size of a normal human head.
-----BREAK-----
Observe Michael Robertson's helicopter penis routine.
Observe Des Hasler castrating Michael Robertson with a machete.
Eat & drink rations secretly snuck in through Cliff Lyons' moustache. Geoff Toovey's cauliflowers are currently off the menu.
15:00 - Shuttle runs, burpees, sit ups, leg ups, push ups, dips, sprints, walks, crawls, lie downs, gasps for air, and repeat.
16:45 - Head to the gym.
16:50 - Enter gym.
16:51 - Take steroids waiting for them on the front table.
16:53 - Exit the gym.
16:55 - Sprints towards the sheds. Last one in is a dead man.
17:15 - Change, and rest.
17:30 - Play Grand Final.
