Dad jokes

[Bulldog Wrestler]

As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with Great frustration and said…

“Y’know, one would have been enough.”

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

My cloning experiments finally paid off.

I'm so excited, I'm beside myself.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

My daughter painted her toenails black for winter formal tonight.

I told her, “I hope you don't run into anyone who's black-toes intolerant.”

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

I have a friend who really hates living in Central USA.

She says she’s in a constant state of Missouri.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

How do you make your partner scream during sex?

Call them and tell them about it.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

I got caught In the middle of two deaf people arguing in sign language.

I couldn’t understand a word they said.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

My wife has banned me from making any more breakfast puns.

She says if I make any more, I'm toast.

My kids keep egging me on.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

Big Moron and Little Moron were on a bridge.

Big Moron fell off, but the other didn’t because… he was a little more on.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

Our local auctioneer has passed away.

He was somewhere around 30? 35? 35? 40.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

What do you call a deceased Finnish man?

Finnished.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

My wife says that I wasted money by ordering a 3 meter wide frame for our wedding photo.

Well I think she should look at the bigger picture.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

What is a doctor who specializes in Adam's apples called.

A guyneckologist.

 

[Smartseal]

I got caught In the middle of two deaf people arguing in sign language.

I couldn’t understand a word they said.

I have a great deaf joke, but it is purely visual, so hopefully I can share it with you guys one day
( this is not meant as a joke by the way)

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

What did the doctor say to the man covered in cling film?

“I can clearly see you’re nuts.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

I've opened a gym, where the instructors would go from door to door, to tell people about the benefits of joining it.

I’ve named it Jehovah’s Fitness.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

Did you hear about the butcher who fell backwards into his meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his work.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

What do you call a mouse that swears?

A cursor.