A few days old now, but I thought I'd post for a point of discussion.
I don't really care about this woman, I have neither hate not like for her...I just hope she keeps her children away from it.
And I am shamed to admit it, but i agree with some points of the article. Girls do make a fool of themself these days, and being so available to players definately doesn't help their opinions about women.
This point really made me nod though:
......................................................................................................
Confessions of football groupie Charmyne Palavi
By Charmyne Palavi
The Daily Telegraph
May 19, 2009 12:01am
IF YOU believed Four Corners, I'm supposed to be the NRL's biggest groupie, a wannabe WAG who dresses up, heads out to clubs and hunts down players to have sex with.
I don't deny I've had liaisons with many, many footballers, but what annoys me about these tags and the way I was portrayed on that show is the idea I prey on them like some of the starstruck women I've seen out there.
I'm no angel, but I've seen this game play out from both sides: First as the partner of a pro footballer for nine years, then as a single woman who can have sex whenever, with whomever, I choose.
I am old enough and wise enough to know these encounters are nothing more than what they were at the time - mostly consensual, one-on-one sex, on my terms.
People might not like it, but (since Four Corners) I've had heaps of people, women especially, say 'good on you, Charmyne, you said it how it is'.
I did feel sorry for "Clare" when she started crying, but the stories that have come out since have been confusing.
As a woman, I think it's disgusting the way Matthew Johns has been put through the wringer in all this but her name has been kept out of it.
The whole scandal has made an example of Matthew, but I don't think less of him because of it.
Group sex happens. Now the other players involved should speak up too. To say what really happened in that hotel.
The reality is there are women out there who do hunt footballers down, are prepared to have sex with them in nightclub toilets.
Just as there are players who trawl Facebook and MySpace, who are more than willing to have sex with them.
Anyone who thinks the culture is going to change just because the story's out there however are kidding themselves.
I was messaging a young player, a Facebook friend, last week and asked what he was doing.
He replied: "Learning how to respect women. LOL (laugh out loud)."
I wrote back: "Yeah, and I'm still a virgin."
In a way, I feel sorry for the guys in this situation, but they should also be strong enough to say no.
But even after the whole story came out about me getting together with (Cowboys player) Johnathan Thurston, I would have understood if they had kept away from me.
I would if I was them (players). But they kept contacting me. It's like a drug to them. They want to go where their teammates have been before them.
No normal person would think they're going to end up with a normal relationship with any player they meet on Facebook or in a club.
Most of the NRL boys get online during breaks in their training, chatting up girls to meet up with after they've finished.
But just as the boys like being contacted by girls through Facebook, the girls use the information the players put on their pages to track them down.
They know where they go out after games, where they stay, when they are in town, with many booking themselves into the same hotels as the teams.
I've got one girlfriend in Brisbane who sits down at the beginning of the year with the NRL draw and works out where she's going to follow them (North Queensland Cowboys) for the year.
I can see how it would be tempting and flattering to the players, especially the young players, because they aren't used to that type of female adoration.
But when it comes to sexual assault all men know what's right and what's wrong and if a girl is obviously drunk and trying to push them off, then it's assault.
I myself have been in this very same situation with a current NRL player and I can see how you get yourself into a situation that spirals out of control.
In my instance I was passing in and out of consciousness and didn't have the strength to push him off me. I told only my closest friends at the time as I knew how it would look.
Now, after the last year and the things I have been through, I am strong enough to speak about it.
Unfortunately, we live in a society where women will always be shut down for the very characteristics men are revered for - being strong, opinionated, fearless and open about their sexuality.
People seem to be ignoring the bigger issue here while they look for someone to blame. That is - the disrespect for women inherent in the clubs.
The key to fixing that problem is education. I thought my contribution was a valuable insight into a world so few know exist. Regardless of the poor lifestyle choices I have made in the past I hope to continue speaking up, so those women too afraid to speak out gain some self respect and learn they deserve better.
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,25502809-421,00.html
I don't really care about this woman, I have neither hate not like for her...I just hope she keeps her children away from it.
And I am shamed to admit it, but i agree with some points of the article. Girls do make a fool of themself these days, and being so available to players definately doesn't help their opinions about women.
This point really made me nod though:
Thoughts? (article below)
......................................................................................................
Confessions of football groupie Charmyne Palavi
By Charmyne Palavi
The Daily Telegraph
May 19, 2009 12:01am
- Charmyne Palavi claims she is like a drug to footballers, they "just can't keep away" from her.
- Charmyne hunts footie players
- Says people support her groupie ways
- But admits she has made poor life choices
IF YOU believed Four Corners, I'm supposed to be the NRL's biggest groupie, a wannabe WAG who dresses up, heads out to clubs and hunts down players to have sex with.
I don't deny I've had liaisons with many, many footballers, but what annoys me about these tags and the way I was portrayed on that show is the idea I prey on them like some of the starstruck women I've seen out there.
I'm no angel, but I've seen this game play out from both sides: First as the partner of a pro footballer for nine years, then as a single woman who can have sex whenever, with whomever, I choose.
I am old enough and wise enough to know these encounters are nothing more than what they were at the time - mostly consensual, one-on-one sex, on my terms.
People might not like it, but (since Four Corners) I've had heaps of people, women especially, say 'good on you, Charmyne, you said it how it is'.
I did feel sorry for "Clare" when she started crying, but the stories that have come out since have been confusing.
As a woman, I think it's disgusting the way Matthew Johns has been put through the wringer in all this but her name has been kept out of it.
The whole scandal has made an example of Matthew, but I don't think less of him because of it.
Group sex happens. Now the other players involved should speak up too. To say what really happened in that hotel.
The reality is there are women out there who do hunt footballers down, are prepared to have sex with them in nightclub toilets.
Just as there are players who trawl Facebook and MySpace, who are more than willing to have sex with them.
Anyone who thinks the culture is going to change just because the story's out there however are kidding themselves.
I was messaging a young player, a Facebook friend, last week and asked what he was doing.
He replied: "Learning how to respect women. LOL (laugh out loud)."
I wrote back: "Yeah, and I'm still a virgin."
In a way, I feel sorry for the guys in this situation, but they should also be strong enough to say no.
But even after the whole story came out about me getting together with (Cowboys player) Johnathan Thurston, I would have understood if they had kept away from me.
I would if I was them (players). But they kept contacting me. It's like a drug to them. They want to go where their teammates have been before them.
No normal person would think they're going to end up with a normal relationship with any player they meet on Facebook or in a club.
Most of the NRL boys get online during breaks in their training, chatting up girls to meet up with after they've finished.
But just as the boys like being contacted by girls through Facebook, the girls use the information the players put on their pages to track them down.
They know where they go out after games, where they stay, when they are in town, with many booking themselves into the same hotels as the teams.
I've got one girlfriend in Brisbane who sits down at the beginning of the year with the NRL draw and works out where she's going to follow them (North Queensland Cowboys) for the year.
I can see how it would be tempting and flattering to the players, especially the young players, because they aren't used to that type of female adoration.
But when it comes to sexual assault all men know what's right and what's wrong and if a girl is obviously drunk and trying to push them off, then it's assault.
I myself have been in this very same situation with a current NRL player and I can see how you get yourself into a situation that spirals out of control.
In my instance I was passing in and out of consciousness and didn't have the strength to push him off me. I told only my closest friends at the time as I knew how it would look.
Now, after the last year and the things I have been through, I am strong enough to speak about it.
Unfortunately, we live in a society where women will always be shut down for the very characteristics men are revered for - being strong, opinionated, fearless and open about their sexuality.
People seem to be ignoring the bigger issue here while they look for someone to blame. That is - the disrespect for women inherent in the clubs.
The key to fixing that problem is education. I thought my contribution was a valuable insight into a world so few know exist. Regardless of the poor lifestyle choices I have made in the past I hope to continue speaking up, so those women too afraid to speak out gain some self respect and learn they deserve better.
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,25502809-421,00.html
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