Basically, every Australian is always having a barbecue, or "barbie" -
Barbecued burnt bacon, eggs and sausage for breakfast, barbecued burnt sausage and onion sandwich for lunch and barbecued burnt steak and sausage for dinner. Barbecue meat is always marinated in VB (except in Leichhardt and Carlton and the whole of Adelaide, where they have barbecued wogmeat for every meal washed down with a barbecued imported chardonnay before they go off and have a committee meeting of the marxist socialist alliance or what is called the "greens").
Aussies have barbecues because they are a spiritual people and it says in the bible they have to.
And he shall put his hand upon the head of the burnt offering; and it shall be accepted for him to make atonement for him.
And he shall kill the bullock before the LORD: and the priests, Aaron's sons, shall bring the blood, and sprinkle the blood round about upon the altar that [is by] the door of the tabernacle of the congregation.
And he shall flay the burnt offering, and cut it into his pieces.
And the sons of Aaron the priest shall put fire upon the altar, and lay the wood in order upon the fire:
And the priests, Aaron's sons, shall lay the parts, the head, and the fat, in order upon the wood that [is] on the fire which [is] upon the altar:
But his inwards and his legs shall he wash in water: and the priest shall burn all on the altar, [to be] a burnt sacrifice, an offering made by fire, of a sweet savour unto the LORD.
Aussies don't eat veggies.
Australians value the pavlova and the lamington. Lamingtons are scarce. They are hard to catch because they are always running away and jumping off cliffs.
Australians don't value Vegemite. They pray to it as a black deity. If you want to be an Aussie you have to prove you like it by eating it out of a jar with a spoon.
Australia is a big country almost entirely covered in suburbs. There is a little bit in the middle where we keep some special things like the last remaining farmers and a big rock and a small hill we paint white in the winter. Real Aussies don't ski. They pose around in silly-looking boiler suits and a couple of planks and drink heaps of wog drinks like gluwein and get completely pissed and then go back to Sydney and strut around in front of their mates.
