An Outside Assessment of the Dogs

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Mr 95%

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From The Couch: Round 13

Time to Carve Up Canterbury: Canterbury need a total rebuild and it needs to happen now. They are an awful team. Their attack is embarrassing. Raelene resigned last week. There should be many more outs too. The shortcomings of the team have been discussed in these pages. Now, a player by player assessment.

Will Hopoate – Cannot believe they re-signed him. Safe but offers nothing in attack. Should be cut.
Kerrod Holland – Daryl Halligan without the goalkicking ability, speed or defensive nous. Cut.
Josh Morris – Has been ordinary for years. Holland can out run him. Sacked.
Brett Morris – It would be nice if he played once for Canterbury like he did for NSW. Fired.
Brenko Lee – Has the football IQ of a lamp post. At least he can run. Can stay on low coin.
Josh Reynolds – Devastating to see him go. At least he tried.
Matt Frawley – A good third choice half for a team that will never challenge.
Moses Mbye – The Loch Ness Monster is less of a myth. Some say he is a fullback. I used to think he was a hooker. He is just hopeless. First person axed.
Michael Lichaa – Will go down as one of the worst signings in club history. Would not rate in the top 30 hookers in the NRL. Wouldn’t be in my Canterbury NSW Cup team.
James Graham – Tries his guts out. With the right coach he would have more of an impact. Stays.
Aiden Tolman – Pretty one-dimensional so it is a surprise he is the first receiver and first-choice attacking option for every play inside the 20.
David Klemmer – Wants a release and can get one. A thug with no discipline.
Sam Kasiano – Too lairy. Should learn to act like a prop. Go.
Greg Eastwood – Plays one good game a season. A bit of the Corey Hughes about him.
Josh Jackson – Canterbury’s best player. Make him captain. Must be sick of playing with such a weak bunch.
Adam Elliot – Sign him if it is a minimum deal. Absolute plodder.
The Rest – Cut. Nothing there from anyone who has played first grade other than maybe Marcello Montoya.
Des Hasler – Sacked. He actually has no idea what he is doing. He built this side. This is his style. Anyone involved in his signing should be out the door. I’d take Jason Taylor over him at this point.
 

c-b-b

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Brenko Lee – Has the football IQ of a lamp post. At least he can run. Can stay on low coin.
Fkn lol. I needed a laugh. Sad day that people are excited over this bloke who wouldn't make most other NRL sides.

Adam Elliot – Sign him if it is a minimum deal. Absolute plodder.
Don't agree on this one. He is coming along nicely.
 

GDR

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From The Couch: Round 13

Time to Carve Up Canterbury: Canterbury need a total rebuild and it needs to happen now. They are an awful team. Their attack is embarrassing. Raelene resigned last week. There should be many more outs too. The shortcomings of the team have been discussed in these pages. Now, a player by player assessment.

Will Hopoate – Cannot believe they re-signed him. Safe but offers nothing in attack. Should be cut.
Kerrod Holland – Daryl Halligan without the goalkicking ability, speed or defensive nous. Cut.
Josh Morris – Has been ordinary for years. Holland can out run him. Sacked.
Brett Morris – It would be nice if he played once for Canterbury like he did for NSW. Fired.
Brenko Lee – Has the football IQ of a lamp post. At least he can run. Can stay on low coin.
Josh Reynolds – Devastating to see him go. At least he tried.
Matt Frawley – A good third choice half for a team that will never challenge.
Moses Mbye – The Loch Ness Monster is less of a myth. Some say he is a fullback. I used to think he was a hooker. He is just hopeless. First person axed.
Michael Lichaa – Will go down as one of the worst signings in club history. Would not rate in the top 30 hookers in the NRL. Wouldn’t be in my Canterbury NSW Cup team.
James Graham – Tries his guts out. With the right coach he would have more of an impact. Stays.
Aiden Tolman – Pretty one-dimensional so it is a surprise he is the first receiver and first-choice attacking option for every play inside the 20.
David Klemmer – Wants a release and can get one. A thug with no discipline.
Sam Kasiano – Too lairy. Should learn to act like a prop. Go.
Greg Eastwood – Plays one good game a season. A bit of the Corey Hughes about him.
Josh Jackson – Canterbury’s best player. Make him captain. Must be sick of playing with such a weak bunch.
Adam Elliot – Sign him if it is a minimum deal. Absolute plodder.
The Rest – Cut. Nothing there from anyone who has played first grade other than maybe Marcello Montoya.
Des Hasler – Sacked. He actually has no idea what he is doing. He built this side. This is his style. Anyone involved in his signing should be out the door. I’d take Jason Taylor over him at this point.
He's really early this week publishing 'from the couch' he must be as fired up as us ... I agree with everything except for Klemmer..
 

Mr 95%

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That's not an outsiders assessment - it is a dickheads assessment.
Lol! All views are those expressed by the author..not necessarily mine.. Well maybe..Lol!
 

Kiwipup

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Top assessment.

I would actually take Taylor over Hasbeen at this stage
 
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Spoonman84

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They are spot on with Kerrod Holland.
 

Oatley Dog

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No...its an outsiders assessment. I agree with everything he said except elliot.
Yeah well I guess you would agree with the positive assessment of Reynolds. After all it only cost you $850k....Hoppa is a top line footballer who regularly makes 150+m a game.
 

Kiwipup

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Yeah well I guess you would agree with the positive assessment of Reynolds. After all it only cost you $850k....Hoppa is a top line footballer who regularly makes 150+m a game.
Tigers are gonna get more value for money from Reynolds & Cleary than what we are getting from Dudbye & Hasbeen
 

Oatley Dog

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Tigers are gonna get more value for money from Reynolds & Cleary than what we are getting from Dudbye & Hasbeen
Hold that thought mate. Reynolds will play like Benji for them, just as he does with us. always trying but 5 bad games to 1 good one.
 

Kiwipup

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Hold that thought mate. Reynolds will play like Benji for them, just as he does with us. always trying but 5 bad games to 1 good one.

So your a fortune teller now?

btw Des Hasler is a shit *****
 

wigum

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I'd keep Hoppa for the centres. Elliot has potential. Rest I agree with lol
 

Mr Invisible

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Hi,

My Name is Nick Tedeschi, and I'm a shitcunt.

upload_2017-6-5_2-5-26.png

I also wrote this absolute garbage article.
 

Ahecee

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Oatley did say it best, however, on Lee......... the IQ of a lamp post?

A lamp post doesn't have a IQ that would register, much like certain presidents of the US that may or may not be in the job right now but certainly are. A lamp post is however a source of light and therefore displays some brightness because it can't be a lamp post, if at the top of the post you don't find a lamp.

I personally prefer to liken Lee to a potato, zero football IQ, zero brightness. Still holds value because, you can't make fries without them, half of Ireland dies without them, but, still stupid............ you can use my far better analogy if you'd like Nick Tedeschi, your welcome.
 
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Ahecee

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No...its an outsiders assessment. I agree with everything he said except elliot.
Then..... maybe your over rating yourself and Oatley provided another apt definition? Just saying, it is a plausible alternative.
 
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