Settle an Argument

[K E]

toilet time used to be Candy Crush time for me

Bejewelled > Candy Crush, IMO.

 

[jof]

I guess I should count myself lucky, but all my life I have always been someone who just sits on the can takes a dump, wipes and it's all over with in a minute or so. Never had any reason for reading material or other entertainment while in the smallest room of the house.

 

[south of heaven]

I guess I should count myself lucky, but all my life I have always been someone who just sits on the can takes a dump, wipes and it's all over with in a minute or so. Never had any reason for reading material or other entertainment while in the smallest room of the house.

I can shit in under 2 minutes but its a place of sanctuary yes most men would prefer to sit with the stench of shit for 5 minutes than listen to the mrs bullshit

 

[south of heaven]

toilet time used to be Candy Crush time for me

Trolling vegans on the toilet helps a smooth bowel movement

 

[Howard Moon]

Trolling vegans on the toilet helps a smooth bowel movement

This needs to be printed onto t-shirts

 

[Mr Shhh]

I take my phone into the can. I have my usual websites I browse when I'm in there (nothing sexual, because you don't shit where you eat).

The missus says it's "disgusting" but I don't see anything wrong with it. I don't wipe with my phone, FFS.

What say you? Is it "disgusting"?

I once ate a kebab whilst taking a dump. Mobile phone is fine.

 

[K E]

I once ate a kebab whilst taking a dump. Mobile phone is fine.

Kim Kardashian once ate a kebab and now she's a multi millionaire.

Guessing we're talking about two different kebabs.

 

[The DoggFather]

Obviously I'm kidding.

When your dick is as big as mine you can't sit down to shit. You have to do an Indian hover over the bowl

I hate it when you sit down and your dick touches the toilet water.

 

[The DoggFather]

Kim Kardashian once ate a kebab and now she's a multi millionaire.

Guessing we're talking about two different kebabs.

A burnt kebab with extra garlic sauce

 

[K E]

A burnt kebab with extra garlic sauce

Snickers with a glaze centre.

 

[south of heaven]

I hate it when you sit down and your dick touches the toilet water.

I do that standing up ,you know the old legend of how Marilyn Manson got a rib removed to suck himself off ?
I got 3 added so i wouldn't choke .







* note the above story is extremely fictitious

 

[Hacky McAxe]

Speaking of, ever taken a dump in a toilet in the US?

FMD...

Seriously. What the fuck is with US toilets. Your arse pretty much touches the water.

Sure, it's less splashback but when I say that I was to get my dick wet, that's not really what I mean.

 

[Hacky McAxe]

I guess I should count myself lucky, but all my life I have always been someone who just sits on the can takes a dump, wipes and it's all over with in a minute or so. Never had any reason for reading material or other entertainment while in the smallest room of the house.

No matter how long it takes to take a dump, take more time. It's peace time away from the Mrs. At least, that's what it originally was. Now she comes to the door and starts telling me about her day while I'm taking a dump.

 

[K E]

Seriously. What the fuck is with US toilets. Your arse pretty much touches the water.

Sure, it's less splashback but when I say that I was to get my dick wet, that's not really what I mean.

Seriously, it's fucked up. I'm no Ron Jeremy but I'm pretty sure it fucking touched the water.

In Arizona (Glendale to be exact) you have to wipe and throw it in a bin, you can't flush toilet paper. Apparently, the plumbing there can't handle it. For the record, I fucking flushed it.

 

[Mr Invisible]

Wait what... so I'm NOT meant to wipe my arse with my phone if I take it in there? Well this explains a lot.

Nah seriously it's not called "the library" for nothing. It's where I do my best thinking sometimes.

You're throwing up. Certain material must make you very sick....

It makes @south of heaven sick to his stomach.

 

[Wahesh]

I take my phone into the can. I have my usual websites I browse when I'm in there (nothing sexual, because you don't shit where you eat).

The missus says it's "disgusting" but I don't see anything wrong with it. I don't wipe with my phone, FFS.

What say you? Is it "disgusting"?

@K E Surely I thought you of all people would settle an argument Homer Simpson style. Surely!

https://video.twimg.com/ext_tw_video/1051920050284896257/pu/vid/240x180/SPn9HVNs4eQ-66w2.mp4?tag=5

 

[Bad Billy]

Did that once. Dick too big though so it stopped it from falling in.

I was taking a piss at the trough at ANZ stadium once, when I felt my glasses sliding off my head. I had to choose, piss accurately or save the glasses. I chose the glasses and pissed all over myself and the guys feet, beside me.

 

[K E]

I was taking a piss at the trough at ANZ stadium once, when I felt my glasses sliding off my head. I had to choose, piss accurately or save the glasses. I chose the glasses and pissed all over myself and the guys feet, beside me.

Was the guy German? Because he would've thanked you.

Ja, das gud. Danke. More! Schnell!

 

[Memberberries]

Is Osman still around?
I remember him and Bob dog used to give each other shit posting on here?
Then I met them at Brookvale and they were hanging out as if they were best friends.

 

[Howard Moon]

it actually makes more sense for the toilet to be closer to the ground tbh.