Bloke walks into a bar with his pet octopus.
Barman says "Sorry bud, you can't bring that in here, it's against OH&S".
Bloke says "... but you don't understand, this is isn't a regular octopus."
Barman says "Sorry mate, I don't care how good he is, ya can't bring him in."
Bloke says "... I'll tell you what ... if you can find a musical instrument that he can;t play, I'll pay YOU $100 and leave straight away"
Barman says "You're ON !"
Barman turns to the crowded room and announces "hey everyone ... this bloke here reckons his octopus can play musical instruments ... who's got one ?"
In the corner a fella shouts out "I've got a harmonica in me pocket ... here you go", and tosses it up to the bar. Baramn hands it to the bloke and says "There you go fella, lets see what he's got"
Bloke hands it to octopus and says "Alright Ocky ... play the harmoncia for the people !" - Without hesitating, he grabs it in one tentacle, shoves in the crevices of his body, and sounds begin coming out ! The pub roars in laughter, and after 20 seconds, the harmonica is retrieved, washed and handed back.
The surprised barman's attention is drawn to another fella who's just returned from his car, where he had a ukelele in his boot. That bloke hands the ukelele over, and the barman passes it on to the octopus owner and says "we're not done yet, get him to try this !". The bloke hands the ukelele to the octopus and says "there you go Ocky, play the ukelele for the people". Without hesitating, one tentacle goes on the neck, and another starts plucking strings. The bar roars with approval.
"I gotta admit mate, that's pretty impressive ... but I got one more ... I'll be back in 3mins" says the barman. He returns with a set of bagpipes and says "there you go ... let's see if your Ocky can play THAT !"
The bloke hands it to the octopus and says "Alright Ocky you know what to do !" .... Ocky grabs it ... looks at it ... turns it around ... turns it back again ... lifts it up to see the bottom ... rotates it 360-degrees .... this goes on for 30seconds
The barman announces "AHA ! What's the matter ? Can't he play it ???"
Immediately the octopus arks up and shouts .... "Play it ?!?!?! ... IF I could figure out how to get it's pyjamas off, I'm gonna take it home and F*CK it !!!"