An appreciation thread of the fairer sex 2.0

[DinkumDog]

Haha, i'm in Canada now. Was a nightmare going through customs as some chick searched every item I had with a fine toothed comb, unpacked my whole suitcase and bags, swabbed everything and accused me of having traces of fentanyl in my luggage despite nothing being there, along with a bad attitude for asking a question and explaining what each item was

Nothing like the welcome wagon after a long flight.
Years ago I was going through Customs at Heathrow and got similar treatment (minus the Fentanyl reference). They were giving me a gobful for no valid reason so I just stood there, answered their questions and said nothing else. When they ran out of reasons not to let me through old mate says: ‘You’ve got 14 days, you must leave the UK within 14 days!’ Since I was there for work and only staying a week I picked up my bag, made sure I had everything including my passport etc and said ‘Based on your attitude pal that’s about 13 days too long’ then walked off .

 

[The_Chimpster]

I’d like to ask a question.
When you got to Canada. What did the agents at the counter ask you as you arrived? The ones that check your passport, ask what you’re doing. That kinda thing.

When I got off the plane and went through immigration I was asked

why am I going to Canada
How long am I going to be here
Do i know anyone here
What I do for all living
How am I going to support myself & much money I earn
Where am I going to stay
Why am I coming from the USA if I'm an Australian

I answered the first officers questions and was told to proceed then I got pulled up again by a random guy who demanded to see my passport and immigration ticket, I was allowed to proceed to another room in immigration where I answered the same questions. And again to another room for the same questions. Then I was told to go to another room where they all but cavity searched me, unpacked everything I had and when I asked if there was a problem and if this is standard with every Australian who enters Canada for the first time, she accused me of having attitude and "why you be like this"

They didn't find anything aside from "traces of fentenyl" which I think was a load of shit and her trying to catch me out in a lie.

After an hour and a half of her rummaging and me repacking everything as quickly as I could I was free to leave

 

[DinkumDog]

When I got off the plane and went through immigration I was asked

why am I going to Canada
How long am I going to be here
Do i know anyone here
What I do for all living
How am I going to support myself & much money I earn
Where am I going to stay
Why am I coming from the USA if I'm an Australian

I answered the first officers questions and was told to proceed then I got pulled up again by a random guy who demanded to see my passport and immigration ticket, I was allowed to proceed to another room in immigration where I answered the same questions. And again to another room for the same questions. Then I was told to go to another room where they all but cavity searched me, unpacked everything I had and when I asked if there was a problem and if this is standard with every Australian who enters Canada for the first time, she accused me of having attitude and "why you be like this"

They didn't find anything aside from "traces of fentenyl" which I think was a load of shit and her trying to catch me out in a lie.

After an hour and a half of her rummaging and me repacking everything as quickly as I could I was free to leave

Far out, that’s extreme no matter which way you slice it. Sounds like you played it well though - per Danny Bhoy: ‘It’s not a good idea to get shirty with someone who has a legal right to fist you up the arse’ .

 

[south of heaven]

When I got off the plane and went through immigration I was asked

why am I going to Canada
How long am I going to be here
Do i know anyone here
What I do for all living
How am I going to support myself & much money I earn
Where am I going to stay
Why am I coming from the USA if I'm an Australian

I answered the first officers questions and was told to proceed then I got pulled up again by a random guy who demanded to see my passport and immigration ticket, I was allowed to proceed to another room in immigration where I answered the same questions. And again to another room for the same questions. Then I was told to go to another room where they all but cavity searched me, unpacked everything I had and when I asked if there was a problem and if this is standard with every Australian who enters Canada for the first time, she accused me of having attitude and "why you be like this"

They didn't find anything aside from "traces of fentenyl" which I think was a load of shit and her trying to catch me out in a lie.

After an hour and a half of her rummaging and me repacking everything as quickly as I could I was free to leave

I got questioned in nz for about 3 seconds said I had vallium, she said how much ,I said not as much as I consumed on the plane that's for sure,I got a script you wanna see.
No welcome to new Zealand have a great time.

 

[The_Chimpster]

Far out, that’s extreme no matter which way you slice it. Sounds like you played it well though - per Danny Bhoy: ‘It’s not a good idea to get shirty with someone who has a legal right to fist you up the arse’ .

Honestly I was well spent before that point. I hadn't eaten or slept the night before which probably didn't help matters seeing I was looking a bit rough but still feel like the entire situation was overkill.
But I had nothing to hide & I get that customs offers have a job to do and need to be stern but they really could go about it in a better fashion imo.

My experience going though customs in the US in three different states was literally straight through, and I looked worse than I did yesterday, all they did was keep my area 142 cup in Orlando because it had booze and ice in it before I emptied it in the bin.

Go figure

 

[DinkumDog]

Honestly I was well spent before that point. I hadn't eaten or slept the night before which probably didn't help matters seeing I was looking a bit rough but still feel like the entire situation was overkill.
But I had nothing to hide & I get that customs offers have a job to do and need to be stern but they really could go about it in a better fashion imo.

My experience going though customs in the US in three different states was literally straight through, and I looked worse than I did yesterday, all they did was keep my area 142 cup in Orlando because it had booze and ice in it before I emptied it in the bin.

Go figure

They’re probably trying to keep MAGA’s out .

 

[The_Chimpster]

They’re probably trying to keep MAGA’s out .

If I ever sounded, acted or looked like one of those fruitloops (and I met a few during my time there) I'd elect to kick myself out.
Florida was nice and i met some really cool locals but after two weeks in Reseda stuck in an immobile RV with no coffee out in the middle of the ghetto valley I couldn't wait to leave

 

[The_Chimpster]

I got questioned in nz for about 3 seconds said I had vallium, she said how much ,I said not as much as I consumed on the plane that's for sure,I got a script you wanna see.
No welcome to new Zealand have a great time.

Yeah that's sounds about right for the kiwis

Always wanted to go to NZ, might have to add it to the list

 

[Mr 95%]

Haha, i'm in Canada now. Was a nightmare going through customs as some chick searched every item I had with a fine toothed comb, unpacked my whole suitcase and bags, swabbed everything and accused me of having traces of fentanyl in my luggage despite nothing being there, along with a bad attitude for asking a question and explaining what each item was

I love Canadian women…

edit..actually I love ALL women..unfortunately all women don’t love me..

 

[The_Chimpster]

I love Canadian women…

edit..actually I love ALL women..unfortunately all women don’t love me..

Only the good ones do my man

 

[Mr 95%]

Only the good ones do my man

Ooh yeah.. I’ll remember that Chimp.. BRILLIANT!!

 

[The DoggFather]

Looking the way I do, I'm genuinely shocked that I have never had any problems in any customs, including Murika and Mexico, that's even not going through scanners because of my defib/Pacemaker.

But my innocent looking wife always cops it lol even when she travels with her sisters/cousins.

PS if I was was a customs agent I'd target me hard lol

 

[Mr 95%]

Looking the way I do, I'm genuinely shocked that I have never had any problems in any customs, including Murika and Mexico, that's even not going through scanners because of my defib/Pacemaker.

But my innocent looking wife always cops it lol even when she travels with her sisters/cousins.

PS if I was was a customs agent I'd target me hard lol

Lol..Same with my exercise person. He is Egyptian. When he went through customs they let him go through with no problem. His wife, who is as Aussie as me, was stopped and checked. Plus, as per usual, he was mucking around drawing attention to himself. However, just straight through.

Oh he looks like this guy..Mola Ram from Temple of Doom..but with hair!

 

[The DoggFather]

Lol..Same with my exercise person. He is Egyptian. When he went through customs they let him go through with no problem. His wife, who is as Aussie as me, was stopped and checked. Plus, as per usual, he was mucking around drawing attention to himself. However, just straight through.

Oh he looks like this guy..Mola Ram from Temple of Doom..but with hair!
View attachment 87423

My go to joke at the useless subcontinent "security guards" is I say "you look more of a suspect than I do" lol

I've learnt not to use the word "terrorist" when you look like one lol

 

[Hacky McAxe]

Thought it was Kate beckinsale until I read the post. Looks a lot like her imo

Kate Beckinsale if she played Rugby League.

 

[DinkumDog]

Oh he looks like this guy..Mola Ram from Temple of Doom..but with hair!
View attachment 87423

The Border bloke thought: ‘Yeah, nah, prefer not to get my heart ripped out today, might let this fella go’ .

 

[DinkumDog]

My go to joke at the useless subcontinent "security guards" is I say "you look more of a suspect than I do" lol

Gotta be careful but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been tempted to pull out the Steven Wright line when asked by a dopey Murikan TSA agent:

Agent: ‘Do you have any weapons or drugs?’
Dinkum: ‘Why, what do you need?’ .

 

[Nasheed]

Canada and America make it hard.
Big grey area with the cidninal question in Canada and they don’t like drunk driving so just worried if they ask about the crime thing

 

[GA45]

Canada and America make it hard.
Big grey area with the cidninal question in Canada and they don’t like drunk driving so just worried if they ask about the crime thing

You selling drugs on the side to go on a big trip?

 

[Nasheed]

You selling drugs on the side to go on a big trip?

I’m not sure they’ll let me out because of the 4 drunk driving arrests and the taxi runner charge I got locked up for