Work Stories

[Wahesh]

What are some work stories you have? They can be anything... good, bad, neutral, just something interesting that you probably shouldn't have done.

 

[Wahesh]

So back in 2018 I was being moved to another office, going from the City to Hurstville. They wanted me to work on a project. I wasn't happy about this but I didn't really have a choice. Now a week earlier, I had to order my colleague a new laptop, so I did. Now by some error from their end, the supplier sent us 2 laptops on 2 separate orders. The laptops came in on 2 consecutive days, and I said to my supervisor we'll just keep the second one as a spare. Now we already had 2 spare (but very dated) laptops. She said we'll keep it in the bosses office and they can use that when their Surface Pro dies. Now what I did was open the box when it already came in thinking it was maybe a laptop case, but it was the actual laptop, so that's how I knew what it was.

No problem I thought, so I put the opened laptop box in the bosses office.

Anyway then they told me I was moving to Hurstville and I wasn't too happy. Now they wanted me to work on a special project and manage it on my own... so they said they'd be giving me a top-of-the-line HP laptop with all the bells and whistles. There was one catch... it was already used by some other guy who left the company. "This was shit" I thought to myself... why should I inherit someone elses laptop instead of getting a new one? It's not like I was going to be doing any high-end work, a standard laptop would've done the trick.

Anyway the EA of my new boss simply wiped it down with wet wipes and gave it to me. I still wasn't happy about it as I wanted a fresh laptop. Now I had an advantage of being the first one in the office, so on the last day when I came in, I immediately went to the my drawer, got the laptop out that I inherited (it hadn't been imaged yet) and I swapped it with the brand spanking new laptop in the box in my bosses office. Hey... my boss didn't need a new laptop that wasn't being used while she had a surface pro... and besides that she spent 95% of her time in meetings, not at her desk.

Later that day I got the laptop imaged and I went to the Hurstville office with a brand new unused laptop.

I went back to visit my old team about a month later and saw that my boss was still using the surface pro.

 

[Hacky McAxe]

We have to all stories tell

Sorry, had to do that.

 

[south of heaven]

On a job once a tin portaloo, we waited for this drunk for his morning shit ( *when you're in a portaloo and some prick hits it with a stick it's very loud)once he was in one of the boys snuck up and locked him in while the others got the hose ready, we were up a second level with a good supply of bricks,operation shock and ore was about to begin, hose in there full blast,the first scream then the artillery started it rained house bricks, they were punching through the portaloo ,old mate is in there screaming bricks destroying the shit house, we stop the bombardment. Someone opens the door he's soaking wet on his hands an knees toilet wet toilet paper all over his arse screaming at us ,
Fuck it was funny luckily we didn't kill the poor prick but he was a dick anyway .

 

[N4TE]

Before I use to look after the buildings I use to do the shit work on them... Aaanyway taking apart a cooling tower and we stack the fibreglass sections on a 15 story buildings rooftop for the night (bring the pricks down tomorrow)

Turn up the next morning and it’s windy as fuck. If I was a cat I would have used up maybe 6 lives because I watch this bit of fibreglass go one whoosh two whoosh (this bit of fibreglass that I was responsible for and could kill someone if it goes off the fucking roof) three whoosh and off the 15 story roof it goes at 8:00am on a Tuesday morning on
Kent Street.

(if work cover is reading this is just fiction l)

Off it goes and yeah turns out it didn’t kill anyone but did hit a car.

Somehow somehow somehow the dude was like as long as it’s all paid for I won’t ring anyone and that’s the day I lost 6 cats lives...

FUCCcCcK

 

[Moedogg]

So back in 2018 I was being moved to another office, going from the City to Hurstville. They wanted me to work on a project. I wasn't happy about this but I didn't really have a choice. Now a week earlier, I had to order my colleague a new laptop, so I did. Now by some error from their end, the supplier sent us 2 laptops on 2 separate orders. The laptops came in on 2 consecutive days, and I said to my supervisor we'll just keep the second one as a spare. Now we already had 2 spare (but very dated) laptops. She said we'll keep it in the bosses office and they can use that when their Surface Pro dies. Now what I did was open the box when it already came in thinking it was maybe a laptop case, but it was the actual laptop, so that's how I knew what it was.

No problem I thought, so I put the opened laptop box in the bosses office.

Anyway then they told me I was moving to Hurstville and I wasn't too happy. Now they wanted me to work on a special project and manage it on my own... so they said they'd be giving me a top-of-the-line HP laptop with all the bells and whistles. There was one catch... it was already used by some other guy who left the company. "This was shit" I thought to myself... why should I inherit someone elses laptop instead of getting a new one? It's not like I was going to be doing any high-end work, a standard laptop would've done the trick,a

Anyway the EA of my new boss simply wiped it down with wet wipes and gave it to me. I still wasn't happy about it as I wanted a fresh laptop. Now I had an advantage of being the first one in the office, so on the last day when I came in, I immediately went to the my drawer, got the laptop out that I inherited (it hadn't been imaged yet) and I swapped it with the brand spanking new laptop in the box in my bosses office. Hey... my boss didn't need a new laptop that wasn't being used while she had a surface pro... and besides that she spent 95% of her time in meetings, not at her desk.

Later that day I got the laptop imaged and I went to the Hurstville office with a brand new unused laptop.

I went back to visit my old team about a month later and saw that my boss was still using the surface pro.

Anticlimax...i thought the story was going to lead to you discovering your co-workers nudes on the used laptop.

 

[Alan79]

I used to work at a college kitchen while I was at University. I lived about 150m from that kitchen which was really convenient. After having different people who were supposed to unlock the kitchen at the start of the day call in sick a few times, the manager at the time decided the best thing to do would be to give me a set of kitchen keys. I mostly worked breakfast shifts and dinner shifts because I was a student anyway so it wasn't a big hassle if I got woken up once or twice a year to unlock the kitchen when I wasn't working. And 5 mornings a week I was usually working anyway.

So about two months after I was given these keys I was out drinking and introduced myself to a French girl that was staying at the college. She had caught my eye while I was working and the old courage in a bottle factor was in full swing. Things were going well after some dancing and me shouting her a couple of drinks and we shared a cab back to the college. I decided I was going to cook her breakfast. I unlocked the kitchen and cooked us both a good feed of bacon eggs hash browns and toast which we ate in her room. Wasn't the tastiest thing on the menu that night. Wasn't the last time I raided the work kitchen at 3am either.

 

[Hacky McAxe]

Before I use to look after the buildings I use to do the shit work on them... Aaanyway taking apart a cooling tower and we stack the fibreglass sections on a 15 story buildings rooftop for the night (bring the pricks down tomorrow)

Turn up the next morning and it’s windy as fuck. If I was a cat I would have used up maybe 6 lives because I watch this bit of fibreglass go one whoosh two whoosh (this bit of fibreglass that I was responsible for and could kill someone if it goes off the fucking roof) three whoosh and off the 15 story roof it goes at 8:00am on a Tuesday morning on
Kent Street.

(if work cover is reading this is just fiction l)

Off it goes and yeah turns out it didn’t kill anyone but did hit a car.

Somehow somehow somehow the dude was like as long as it’s all paid for I won’t ring anyone and that’s the day I lost 6 cats lives...

FUCCcCcK

That wasn't 309 Kent, was it?

I have heard a few stories. One of the Dexus guys told me about some flying fibreglass.

 

[N4TE]

That wasn't 309 Kent, was it?

I have heard a few stories. One of the Dexus guys told me about some flying fibreglass.

Ha ha um well no but i know the DEXUS guy you are probably talking about and ill say it’s all fictional...

 

[Hacky McAxe]

While working for a security firm, we had an alarm go off in a tenancy. The operators sent a security response out. Security guard said he patrolled the entire tenancy and couldn't see any problems.

Next day I rock up to see what the issue was. Front door looks OK. Walk around the corner. Someone had cut through the wall to get into the tenancy. Literally a 2m square chunk missing from the wall. Pulled up CCTV footage and saw these guys cut through the wall, trigger the motion detector, security guard turns up for all of 2 seconds then walks off without looking all while the guys were carrying out stuff. Guard never noticed them.

 

[DinkumDog]

While working for a security firm, we had an alarm go off in a tenancy. The operators sent a security response out. Security guard said he patrolled the entire tenancy and couldn't see any problems.

Next day I rock up to see what the issue was. Front door looks OK. Walk around the corner. Someone had cut through the wall to get into the tenancy. Literally a 2m square chunk missing from the wall. Pulled up CCTV footage and saw these guys cut through the wall, trigger the motion detector, security guard turns up for all of 2 seconds then walks off without looking all while the guys were carrying out stuff. Guard never noticed them.

Did the same guy let C-19 spread in Melbourne?
As useful as Tony Williams...

 

[N4TE]

While working for a security firm, we had an alarm go off in a tenancy. The operators sent a security response out. Security guard said he patrolled the entire tenancy and couldn't see any problems.

Next day I rock up to see what the issue was. Front door looks OK. Walk around the corner. Someone had cut through the wall to get into the tenancy. Literally a 2m square chunk missing from the wall. Pulled up CCTV footage and saw these guys cut through the wall, trigger the motion detector, security guard turns up for all of 2 seconds then walks off without looking all while the guys were carrying out stuff. Guard never noticed them.

Had a bloke come in (won’t say the Contracter) to
Measure up blinds. Comes in Friday take him through half a dozen tenancies.

Get broken into on Saturday (not all tenancies I showed him through, so didn’t twig)

Called cops found some prick robbed. $6000 goes missing from one tenant and 7 iPads from another.

Approve quote from the blind Insulation guy and he comes in on Wednesday to do job asks how weekend was. I was like Ahhh Fucking got Fucking broken into.

Looking back on it he was very interested (didn’t think about it at the time) Did the cops get called?Did they catch anyone? Did they do fingerprints?

What did they take? So at the time I had no
Idea and told him that. He does the install end of that.

9 months later I need another quote fir blinds call him back and he comes out. Now this guy looked like he wouldn’t remember hisown Mums name let alone a crime that happened 9 months before.

Turns up shakes hands and first thing he says that s how did they go with that break in last time I saw you? Was like ohhhh fuck yeah fucking had forgotten about that shit bro good memory.

He says yeah I think you said they took about $6000 and a couple of iPads. Was like yeah yeah that’s right yeahha ha good memory bro.

Does his quote and fucks off. I’m driving home that day and it dawns on me...When the robbery happened and I first talked to him I did t yet know what had been stolen.

Motherfucking Kingsford Blinds...,,

 

[Mr 95%]

Anticlimax...i thought the story was going to lead to you discovering your co-workers nudes on the used laptop.

Or at least some porn... @Wahesh

 

[Hacky McAxe]

Had a bloke come in (won’t say the Contracter) to
Measure up blinds. Comes in Friday take him through half a dozen tenancies.

Get broken into on Saturday (not all tenancies I showed him through, but didn’t twig)

Called cops found some prick robbed. $6000 goes missing from one tenant and 7 iPads from another.

Approve quote from the blind Insulation guy and he comes in on Wednesday to do job asks how weekend was. I was like Ahhh Fucking got Fucking broken onto.

Looking back on it he was very interested (didn’t think about it at the time) Did the cops get called?Did they catch anyone? Did they do fingerprints?

What did they take? So at the time I had no
Idea and told him that. He does the install end of that.

9 months later I need another quote fir blinds call him back and he comes out. Now this guy looked like he wouldn’t remember hisown Mums name let alone a crime that happened 9 months before.

Turns up shakes hands and first thing he says that s how did they go with that break in last time I saw you? Was like ohhhh fuck yeah fucking had forgotten about that shit bro good memory.

He says yeah I think you said they took about $6000 and a couple of iPads. Was like yeah yeah that’s right yeahha ha good memory bro.

Does his quote and fucks off. I’m driving home that day and it dawns on me...When the robbery happened and I first talked to him I did t yet know what had been stolen.

Motherfucking Kingsford Blinds...,,

There's some dodgy pricks around. There's some funny stories in the security industry. One of the recent ones that I encountered was the Telstra SNP stuff.

SNP security was bought out by Telstra a while back. They picked up some major University contracts. One University they were working they got investigated for. Turns out everyone on the books was listed as working 26 hours per day. They were running costs on events that didn't exist. Just doing major dodgy stuff. Ended up screwing Telstra over.

We had a whole bunch of Council tenders go in after this was discovered. Every one of the tenders specified a system that only Telstra SNP use. Someone forgot to tell the council members that the scam had been found out and Telstra still put their bids in. The councils scrapped every project.

 

[Hacky McAxe]

BTW, if you work in Facilities Management then have a look at the CCTV systems you use. It's public knowledge but not often talked about.

2 of the major CCTV suppliers (Duhua and Hikvision) are both partially owned by Chinese military. About 2 years back it was discovered that they had backdoors built into their IP cameras that let hackers not only gain access to everyone's cameras, but also gain access to any network equipment on the same network as those cameras.

Of course both companies released firmware updates to patch out the backdoors, but they are the ones that put the backdoors there in the first place. They also banned both brands from all US and Australian government sites, but they're still used in most buildings across Australia.

 

[Kempsey Dog]

Not a real interesting story... But my line of work consists of people expected to maintain higher roles without any formal training (fake it until you make it) and then get in shit if an error is made. Grinded my gears lately with myself and other staff. Is this commonplace these days or is it just my line of work

 

[The DoggFather]

Being a bouncer/bodyguard, I have a fuck load of stories.

I might write them down and write a book the next time I'm in hospital.

Good times....

 

[Dogna88]

Lol. Boy do i have some stories

 

[south of heaven]

Lol. Boy do i have some stories

Please share i have no more d grade personality stories left

 

[Hacky McAxe]

Being a bouncer/bodyguard, I have a fuck load of stories.

I might write them down and write a book the next time I'm in hospital.

Good times....

I didn't have too many runs in when I did guard work. I didn't do that much guard work though.

But Justin Timberlake came in when I was working the Shelbourne. The guard that was working alongside me stopped him and said, "can't let you in while you're wearing those shitty jeans. Go home and get changed"

I laughed and Timberlake laughed. Turned out that the guy was serious. The chick with him said, "no offence but the jeans he's wearing are worth more than you make in a year"

I laughed even harder and said, "you idiot. You have no idea who that is"

I got reported for causing problems for my fellow security guards.

That was my last shift at the Shelbourne. Worked at another club the next night. We threw some guys out for causing trouble and they did a drive by shortly after that. Decided I didn't want to keep guarding after that.