Very similar situation had nephew for 2 years out of my own pocket ,his mother is absolute dead shit,no assistance because docs didn't remove him from her apparently its ok to live in a meth house along as the kid has water. The little c*** wouldn't wear anything unless it was high end brand ,that changed quickly when I said ask your mother if you want that shit, long story short his mother lived less than 500 meters from me she called him once in 2 years when his they found his dad dead.the kid was a deadset product of his environment we tried ,it got to a point he was clashing with the mrs everyday the house became toxic,I got home one day and asked him to do something I got some smart arse reply ,I snapped I mean really snapped a picked up a fan in rage and was going to cave his skull in.
Luckily a bit of sense came over me I said get out ill pack your shit your never to set foot in this house again. Called the mrs and said his gone if you want this toxic shit to continue you can go get a house with him we got our own kids to raise .
Its been 2 years now I've seen the little c*** maybe twice never said a word.
You did the right thing by giving him a chance, hopefully he'll see it in time.
Completely understand the fan incident, I was close myself on a couple of occasions.
My nephew came to live with me, wife and our two young kids, because his dad, my brother, died. He was clashing with his step mum and looking back, using that to manipulate me so I'd get him to move in with me. When he didn't get his own way at my place he pulled the same pattern of behaviour with my dad to move in with him.
It's sad that he's smart enough to be anything but rather chooses to use that intelligence to manipulate and coerce those around him to ensure that he has the easiest possible time.
It's setting off a pattern of behaviour that I think, will repeat throughout his life, not too dissimilar to his mum and dad's attitude to life.
Whether that's a generational thing or solely his outlook a result of genetics / environment is up for debate. Personally, I think it's a bit of both. That generation is so used to getting instant gratification thru social media likes, lazy parenting, participation awards etc that they think they're entitled to anything and everything.
The favourite thing he ever said to me was, when talking about career paths etc 'I don't know what I want to do, just that I don't want to work hard. Maybe just a job like yours where you sit at a computer all day.'
Kids going to learn the hard way