Opinion The coffee snob thread!

[CrittaMagic69]

Bro this sound like a late night infomercial lol

Sounds like drugss

 

[flamebouyant]

Are there any throbbing knobs here on the kennel? Do you find it impossible to start your day without a good wank?
I struggle without my morning wank routine, it is vital to the outcome of my day. And having living in my parents basement for a good 10 years of my virgin life, i struggle to comprimise on the quality of my wanks.
My previous method was the spit method. It poured a bloody good shot of white sauce, but was a little slow given i was using my left hand, and I could only bust when using a right hand one at a time, and had to switch between hands and wait for the temperature of the right hand to cool down.
Recently the spit method towards my dick clapped out, and i decided to bite the bullet and buy a really good set of lotion. So i am now a proud owner of a Barkley Basics Hand Cream Lotion. Its fucking amazing!!! Dual cream with two hand control. I can finally use both hands, while the Knob perfectly regulates temp throughout the machine to produce. Plus its sexy as hell!!

Better then my original post! Lol

 

[CQDog]

Better then my original post! Lol

Not going to hijack your thread Flame. Back to coffee!

 

[CQDog]

Sounds like drugss

Phone is always in the locker before that shit starts. You know the rules

 

[MattyB]

Mate, your setup is my dream, one day i will have a setup like yours.

I have a Breville Barista Express, it's my 2nd Breville Machine in about 14 years, still going strong.

I notice you don't use an WDT, in your Opinion do you need one, I don't have one but i see so many people using them it's in my head and i feel i need one, even though the shots i pull out of my machine look good

 

[Kung fu man]

I don't drink that shit

Guess who was standing in line when the lollies ran out!

 

[CQDog]

A wank is my alternative to a coffee. Can’t go a day without it. And its a huge fucking problem…

fuck…

 

[The DoggFather]

fuck…

CQ is central QLD?

 

[CQDog]

CQ is central QLD?

Yes

 

[Doogie]

Ok gentlemen - advice time.

So here's the dilemma - missus has fcked up the Nuovo. Off for repair tomorrow at Di Pacci's but based on what I told them, they are not optimistic. $100 to do the check - ok with that and offered a discount if I need a replacement machine. Smells a bit wiffy but hey - wfh and not paying $6 a coffee for the wimpy shit from the local cafe.

So - missus has had a rant and says - I want a breville with a built in grinder (lets just forget the top of the range Mazelli grinder I have at the moment). I'm prepared, at an absolute pinch, to go a bambino plus + replace the portafiller with a third party (has a PID but is not programmable) and comes in at $700 (incl. the third party portafiller). Or.....

Get something that makes a decent cup of Joe. Missus can go fck herself. Have the day off tomorrow so happy to fck around a bit on this if required.

Issues are I have a small footprint, I'm not plumbing it in, want a programmable PID but has to be simple enough for dunderhead to use. Double boiler would be super cool.

Any suggestions are welcome.

 

[Heckler]

Ok gentlemen - advice time.

So here's the dilemma - missus has fcked up the Nuovo. Off for repair tomorrow at Di Pacci's but based on what I told them, they are not optimistic. $100 to do the check - ok with that and offered a discount if I need a replacement machine. Smells a bit wiffy but hey - wfh and not paying $6 a coffee for the wimpy shit from the local cafe.

So - missus has had a rant and says - I want a breville with a built in grinder (lets just forget the top of the range Mazelli grinder I have at the moment). I'm prepared, at an absolute pinch, to go a bambino plus + replace the portafiller with a third party (has a PID but is not programmable) and comes in at $700 (incl. the third party portafiller). Or.....

Get something that makes a decent cup of Joe. Missus can go fck herself. Have the day off tomorrow so happy to fck around a bit on this if required.

Issues are I have a small footprint, I'm not plumbing it in, want a programmable PID but has to be simple enough for dunderhead to use. Double boiler would be super cool.

Any suggestions are welcome.

$6 a coffee..WTF?

 

[Doogie]

$6 a coffee..WTF?

Mate - popped into a cafe further up the road a few months ago. Flat white, large, extra shot (4 shots). Bigger than the above by a little but not much.

Charged me $10.50. Nearly died.

Never been back since.

 

[HD and Ink]

For all you folk with coffee machines why is it that all the 8nes even $2k machines friends and relatives own, the coffee comes out not really hot. Add milk and it's kinda cold then.

Maybe too many folk think they're barristas...idk.

 

[InGusWeTrust]

For all you folk with coffee machines why is it that all the 8nes even $2k machines friends and relatives own, the coffee comes out not really hot. Add milk and it's kinda cold then.

Maybe too many folk think they're barristas...idk.

I have a Breville Barista Express. Widely considered one of, if not the best sub $1k machines. It goes for around 6 or 700.

Anyway, as to your question, it’s simple. A shot or two of espresso is only about a quarter of a cup, so if you add cold milk to that, it’s going to make everything cold haha. That’s why most, if not all machines have a steam wand for frothing milk. Mine also has hot water if you want to make a flat white. In this case the coffee will be very hot so you can add milk from the fridge and it will still be hot coffee.

my biggest gripe with having a manual machine is having to do the milk. Seeing as though I only drink lattes, I have to froth the milk as well as grind, tamp and brew the coffee. It’s definitely worth it though. I had Nespresso machines beforehand and it’s far more enjoyable coffee making it this way.

 

[Bad Billy]

Bialetti. fresh ground beans.
been doing it for years. I use Hoffmans method to get, what I think is a pretty fucken good cup.

 

[maroondog72]

I always enjoy the look of relief on a Barista's face when I order my usual flat white in a coffee shop.

 

[Grunthos]

Behold! My throbbing, boiling hot "Ejaculatte!"

 

[Memberberries]

I always enjoy the look of relief on a Barista's face when I order my usual flat white in a coffee shop.

yeah I order a flat white and they always want to be my best friend afterwards.

I thought I was the only person who did this?
One time I almost took another man’s coffee at McDonald’s for this reason.

 

[Heckler]

Fuck Maccas and their putrid coffee and service. NEVER ever get the order right. I don't even think they have extra hot on their POS. Worst wannabe Baristas. I feel better now!

 

[Heckler]

Mate - popped into a cafe further up the road a few months ago. Flat white, large, extra shot (4 shots). Bigger than the above by a little but not much.

Charged me $10.50. Nearly died.

Never been back since.

Criminals entitled Sons of Bitches.