Someone activated my 'batman light' ...

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Captain Kickass

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Good evening Ye Olde Kennel-folk ... :grinning:
It's been far too long between rants.

Yesterday, somebody dropped by my Twitter account and activated my 'Batman light' with a quiet "Haven't seen your posts in a while". Accordingly, my huge ego has seized it as a call to arms. Times are difficult and my Kennel peeps need me. It's been a while since I've done this, but for the record, the suit still fits.

For new players, allow me to introduce myself ... I'm "CK". Hibernating long time poster, serial nuisance, and an otherwise interesting assortment of damaged goods. I'm best known for optimistic tirades involving little to no decorum designed to rally troops and motivate the downtrodden.

For the regulars, it's good to pop in again - I like what you've done with the place.
(Feel free to throw some catch up Q's below and I'll do my best to update you on life)

That's cool and all "CK" - Speech me !!!

Anyhoo, I digress .... Apparently, on teh interwebz, us Bulldogs is in crisis (and/or have been for ages). There's a host of criticisms everywhere you look these days. Newspapers, TV shows, Facebook, Twitter, Forums, podcasts, etc, etc. We have at least six branches of "sack 'em" club including but not limited to Des, Raelene, The Board, The Recruitment Dept, The Halves, and The Forwards.

If nothing else, the internet has diluted logical conversation. We live in a 'fake news' world. Attention spans are shorter because time available is shorter. The older I get, the harder it is to give difficult, complex topics the thorough examination they deserve.

Normally, I'd launch into a "Come on guys" routine, stand up on the nearest soapbox and lead you all in a speech that ends with us marching to Round Three with flaming poles in hand.

I gotta be honest .... it's Round Two, and I don't care.
We lost two games to Top 8 contenders, both by less than six points.
I simply don't f*cking care !

Call it flight of fancy, call it raging denial bordering on psychopathy, call it the inevitable mellowing with age .... but I speak to you as a Bulldogs fan of over three decades. - I DO NOT give one iota of worry to our current situation and neither should any of you !

This team will make finals.
We always make finals.
Why is this even a question ?


Seriously ... I've got a cool thousand bucks tied up in a multi-bet from January that includes Bulldogs Top 8 .... here we are at 0-2, and I'm contemplating throwing $500 more on because odds are drifting !!!

What is it that makes it possible for me to "blatantly disregard what is happening before our very eyes" (Quote-Unquote : Facebook comment 10/3/17), you ask ???? ... How can one "allow yourself to accept this ongoing mediocrity" and/or "think like a loser" (Twitter follower who since blocked their self : Circa September 2016), you ponder ????

It's easy .... it's no big secret .... you can do it in as much time as it takes to answer a few honest questions. Try it.

Ask yourself the following questions ...

- Can you have a good time watching a Bulldogs game, without getting a "W" at fulltime ? YES !!!
- Do you NEED a "W" at fulltime, to feel like your day is a good one ? NO !!!

That's it !!!

If by some chance you've answered those differently (and some of you will, just like me from 2008), I'm gonna go right ahead and suggest YOU have a deeper unresolved problem and it has nothing to do with Bulldogs. An undetected cognitive bias, misplaced and unreasonable expectations, a social adjustment imbalance and/or gambling problem are likely culprits.

PM me and we'll book in a session of therapy at a later stage ...

OK then "CK", how do you fix what's going on with the boys ?

You don't.

(*throws open arms and Ta-Da fanfare plays*)

All you can do, is control YOU.
And here's some things you can do ...

You can strap yourself into the front seat of the rugby league season rollercoaster, and scream "WWWwwwEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeee" as we plummet down the valleys, and glide up the nauseating heights for the next 7 months !!!

You can surrender to the glorious uncertainty of fate. Injuries, suspensions, Origin selection, media interference, contract negotiations, player behaviour in society can all bring down a campaign - It is a statistical unlikelyhood/anomaly that things go perfect.

You can embrace a philosophical approach such as "law of averages" or "everything comes full circle", and give up your desperate, angry, pathological need for perfection, and replace it with a desire to 'remain competitive'.

You can STOP being scared of setbacks. Man up, defend your post and quit with the sooking ... F*ckers are throwing grenades at us, getting free-kicks into us while we're down and you wanna point out where our weaknesses lie and hand them directions to our targets ?

You can take pride, ramp it up 1000% and replace it with "blind idiotic faith". - No person on the planet will ever convince me that my club isn't the best. That alone irritates the sh*t out of opposition naysayers, workmates, family and trolls I know. Like clockwork they come sniffing with their tails between their legs like "How do you think your Bulldogs will go next week ?" ... meanwhile they spend an entire week behind the scenes with our club living rent-free in their heads, praying to the football gods "I hope we win, I can't stand the Bulldogs". It's ALWAYS a huge relief to them if they beat us. It sounds like "sucked in, we beat you". I spend the whole week un-stressed. They live in a bath of denial and anxiety.

You can let history be your salvation in stormy weather. - It is an undeniable truth that we win more than most. We constantly make finals. Sh*t, we even make GF's from 7th. - It's been the same thing for generations !!! ..... EVERYBODY hates playing us. There is NO SUCH THING as an easy day at the office when preparing for playing the Bulldogs. Nobody circles their calendars and goes "oh here's two points" when it comes to us !

Even now ... even with all the doom and gloom ... even with all the white noise from agenda-having-types ... even though we're 0-2 .... nothing changes the following facts.

- We are a rugby league powerhouse.
- We are united by a collective hate by others upon us.
- They all hate us, because they aint us !

That's nice and all "CK", but shouldn't we be winning all the time ?

No ... perfection and excellence in rugby league is a misguided ideal that only a mere few ever attain. Furthermore, the chase for perfection results in two things.

(a) Disappointment : Unmet expectation is the father of disappointment - If your mentality is "this must occur or else", you set yourself up for disappointment. Why deny yourself a chance to enjoy a 4-point win, because you didn't get your 14-point win ? Why put the season bar at 16,17,18+ wins and deny your chance to enjoy 6 months of football when we make a GF from 7th with 13 wins ?

(b) Mental health issues : Pre-conceived demands over things that are not in your control, is a futile ANXIETY inducing exercise that only serves to raise your adrenalin, raise your blood pressure, shorten your breathing rhythms and potentially trigger a f*cking aneurysm !

Alright then, what's your mantra CK ?

My goals for our team every year are very, very simple.

- Win 50% of our games before Origin ends.
- Win 13 games and qualify for finals.
- Make a late season charge / String some late wins together.
- Pray for luck (injuries, suspensions, weather, refs calls) as we navigate 3-4 must win games.

And there you have it ... CK's Guide to better living.

Realistic. Achievable. Consistently deliverable.
It works well, year after year.

On the back of this, we'll get things to enjoy like minor premierships, winning streaks, golden point wins, come from behind wins and upset wins. All of it is icing on the seasons cake.

(Footnote : I rate the loss to Parra in the GFQ of '09 as a highlight of my fandom with Bulldogs and one the best days I ever had at the footy)


That's actually pretty sound logic CK ... are you the real CK ?

Have I not used enough punctuation !?!?!?!?!?!??

Look ... it's Round Two. Have a look at our draw.
Can you see 13 wins in the next 22 games ?

IF ...

- We keep our spine healthy.
- We don't have our campaign disrupted by injury to the squad during rep season.
- We don't lose too many key players to suspensions or injury in the back half of the year.
- We keep our office out of the news.
- We keep our players out of the news.
- We keep our fans out of the news.
- We qualify for finals before Rd26.

... we'll be in exactly the same position as we were in the last 5 seasons under Des.

Competing at the pointy end of the season.
Just the way we like it.

If we don't cross paths in between, I'll be seeing you f*ckers in September !!!

(*swigs beer*)
(*slams glass down on table*)
(*nods head*)
(*leaves thread*)
 

CrittaMagic69

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I liked the post for the effort lol.
 
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Mr Invisible

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Shit yeah!!!! It's been far too long between posts CK ... how are you and the family?

Last time we touched base I'm pretty sure you were subjected to your wifeys babushka doll quilt cover (which might I add probably isn't far from it's winter reappearance).

Hope you are all keeping well there and good to have you back :grinning:
 

finchie

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I'd hold off on that extra 500 dollars and limit your losses to just the original thousand.

The majority of the criticism has been warranted whether you like it or not.

Very good post but ck
Just doesn't work when haslers around these days
 

_G-Dog_

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Our halves dont have the game.. couldnt organise a root in a brothel..

no chance at premiership with those two
 

flamebouyant

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First post i have sen from you CK, and i greatly entertained, and i also share your optimism.

GO THE DOGGIES!!!!!
 

Wolfmother

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I've put all my faith into the lap of the football Gods and things are looking up.. New exciting fullback coming through , Hoppa re evaluating his stand on playing Sundays..

And now you're back too

Happy days
 

Dogzof95

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Good evening Ye Olde Kennel-folk ... :grinning:
It's been far too long between rants.

Yesterday, somebody dropped by my Twitter account and activated my 'Batman light' with a quiet "Haven't seen your posts in a while". Accordingly, my huge ego has seized it as a call to arms. Times are difficult and my Kennel peeps need me. It's been a while since I've done this, but for the record, the suit still fits.

For new players, allow me to introduce myself ... I'm "CK". Hibernating long time poster, serial nuisance, and an otherwise interesting assortment of damaged goods. I'm best known for optimistic tirades involving little to no decorum designed to rally troops and motivate the downtrodden.

For the regulars, it's good to pop in again - I like what you've done with the place.
(Feel free to throw some catch up Q's below and I'll do my best to update you on life)

That's cool and all "CK" - Speech me !!!

Anyhoo, I digress .... Apparently, on teh interwebz, us Bulldogs is in crisis (and/or have been for ages). There's a host of criticisms everywhere you look these days. Newspapers, TV shows, Facebook, Twitter, Forums, podcasts, etc, etc. We have at least six branches of "sack 'em" club including but not limited to Des, Raelene, The Board, The Recruitment Dept, The Halves, and The Forwards.

If nothing else, the internet has diluted logical conversation. We live in a 'fake news' world. Attention spans are shorter because time available is shorter. The older I get, the harder it is to give difficult, complex topics the thorough examination they deserve.

Normally, I'd launch into a "Come on guys" routine, stand up on the nearest soapbox and lead you all in a speech that ends with us marching to Round Three with flaming poles in hand.

I gotta be honest .... it's Round Two, and I don't care.
We lost two games to Top 8 contenders, both by less than six points.
I simply don't f*cking care !

Call it flight of fancy, call it raging denial bordering on psychopathy, call it the inevitable mellowing with age .... but I speak to you as a Bulldogs fan of over three decades. - I DO NOT give one iota of worry to our current situation and neither should any of you !

This team will make finals.
We always make finals.
Why is this even a question ?


Seriously ... I've got a cool thousand bucks tied up in a multi-bet from January that includes Bulldogs Top 8 .... here we are at 0-2, and I'm contemplating throwing $500 more on because odds are drifting !!!

What is it that makes it possible for me to "blatantly disregard what is happening before our very eyes" (Quote-Unquote : Facebook comment 10/3/17), you ask ???? ... How can one "allow yourself to accept this ongoing mediocrity" and/or "think like a loser" (Twitter follower who since blocked their self : Circa September 2016), you ponder ????

It's easy .... it's no big secret .... you can do it in as much time as it takes to answer a few honest questions. Try it.

Ask yourself the following questions ...

- Can you have a good time watching a Bulldogs game, without getting a "W" at fulltime ? YES !!!
- Do you NEED a "W" at fulltime, to feel like your day is a good one ? NO !!!

That's it !!!

If by some chance you've answered those differently (and some of you will, just like me from 2008), I'm gonna go right ahead and suggest YOU have a deeper unresolved problem and it has nothing to do with Bulldogs. An undetected cognitive bias, misplaced and unreasonable expectations, a social adjustment imbalance and/or gambling problem are likely culprits.

PM me and we'll book in a session of therapy at a later stage ...

OK then "CK", how do you fix what's going on with the boys ?

You don't.

(*throws open arms and Ta-Da fanfare plays*)

All you can do, is control YOU.
And here's some things you can do ...

You can strap yourself into the front seat of the rugby league season rollercoaster, and scream "WWWwwwEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeee" as we plummet down the valleys, and glide up the nauseating heights for the next 7 months !!!

You can surrender to the glorious uncertainty of fate. Injuries, suspensions, Origin selection, media interference, contract negotiations, player behaviour in society can all bring down a campaign - It is a statistical unlikelyhood/anomaly that things go perfect.

You can embrace a philosophical approach such as "law of averages" or "everything comes full circle", and give up your desperate, angry, pathological need for perfection, and replace it with a desire to 'remain competitive'.

You can STOP being scared of setbacks. Man up, defend your post and quit with the sooking ... F*ckers are throwing grenades at us, getting free-kicks into us while we're down and you wanna point out where our weaknesses lie and hand them directions to our targets ?

You can take pride, ramp it up 1000% and replace it with "blind idiotic faith". - No person on the planet will ever convince me that my club isn't the best. That alone irritates the sh*t out of opposition naysayers, workmates, family and trolls I know. Like clockwork they come sniffing with their tails between their legs like "How do you think your Bulldogs will go next week ?" ... meanwhile they spend an entire week behind the scenes with our club living rent-free in their heads, praying to the football gods "I hope we win, I can't stand the Bulldogs". It's ALWAYS a huge relief to them if they beat us. It sounds like "sucked in, we beat you". I spend the whole week un-stressed. They live in a bath of denial and anxiety.

You can let history be your salvation in stormy weather. - It is an undeniable truth that we win more than most. We constantly make finals. Sh*t, we even make GF's from 7th. - It's been the same thing for generations !!! ..... EVERYBODY hates playing us. There is NO SUCH THING as an easy day at the office when preparing for playing the Bulldogs. Nobody circles their calendars and goes "oh here's two points" when it comes to us !

Even now ... even with all the doom and gloom ... even with all the white noise from agenda-having-types ... even though we're 0-2 .... nothing changes the following facts.

- We are a rugby league powerhouse.
- We are united by a collective hate by others upon us.
- They all hate us, because they aint us !

That's nice and all "CK", but shouldn't we be winning all the time ?

No ... perfection and excellence in rugby league is a misguided ideal that only a mere few ever attain. Furthermore, the chase for perfection results in two things.

(a) Disappointment : Unmet expectation is the father of disappointment - If your mentality is "this must occur or else", you set yourself up for disappointment. Why deny yourself a chance to enjoy a 4-point win, because you didn't get your 14-point win ? Why put the season bar at 16,17,18+ wins and deny your chance to enjoy 6 months of football when we make a GF from 7th with 13 wins ?

(b) Mental health issues : Pre-conceived demands over things that are not in your control, is a futile ANXIETY inducing exercise that only serves to raise your adrenalin, raise your blood pressure, shorten your breathing rhythms and potentially trigger a f*cking aneurysm !

Alright then, what's your mantra CK ?

My goals for our team every year are very, very simple.

- Win 50% of our games before Origin ends.
- Win 13 games and qualify for finals.
- Make a late season charge / String some late wins together.
- Pray for luck (injuries, suspensions, weather, refs calls) as we navigate 3-4 must win games.

And there you have it ... CK's Guide to better living.

Realistic. Achievable. Consistently deliverable.
It works well, year after year.

On the back of this, we'll get things to enjoy like minor premierships, winning streaks, golden point wins, come from behind wins and upset wins. All of it is icing on the seasons cake.

(Footnote : I rate the loss to Parra in the GFQ of '09 as a highlight of my fandom with Bulldogs and one the best days I ever had at the footy)


That's actually pretty sound logic CK ... are you the real CK ?

Have I not used enough punctuation !?!?!?!?!?!??

Look ... it's Round Two. Have a look at our draw.
Can you see 13 wins in the next 22 games ?

IF ...

- We keep our spine healthy.
- We don't have our campaign disrupted by injury to the squad during rep season.
- We don't lose too many key players to suspensions or injury in the back half of the year.
- We keep our office out of the news.
- We keep our players out of the news.
- We keep our fans out of the news.
- We qualify for finals before Rd26.

... we'll be in exactly the same position as we were in the last 5 seasons under Des.

Competing at the pointy end of the season.
Just the way we like it.

If we don't cross paths in between, I'll be seeing you f*ckers in September !!!

(*swigs beer*)
(*slams glass down on table*)
(*nods head*)
(*leaves thread*)
I hope your right Ck! I know we got rid of our psychologist, maybe the club should look to hire you as a player motivator/AK (Ass Kicker)!
 

Bulldog_NJ

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You have once again displayed your great skill as a satirical writer, but with all due respect, it was entertaining waffle. I personally cannot enjoy a Bulldogs game if we don't win, however I can be content with a decent performance. What i cant be content with is:

1) Poor Coaching
2) Poor Recruitment and retention
3) Poor development of our halves, considering our coach is a former international half himself
4) Lack of attacking structure
5) Players playing out of position
6) Players not being accountable for poor performance.
7) Coaching Staff not being accountable for poor performance
8) Lack of Junior development
9) Poor Goal kicking
10) The worst general play kicking game in the NRL
11) 6 Straight losses
12) The list goes on
 

Wolfmother

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You have once again displayed your great skill as a satirical writer, but with all due respect, it was entertaining waffle. I personally cannot enjoy a Bulldogs game if we don't win, however I can be content with a decent performance. What i cant be content with is:

1) Poor Coaching
2) Poor Recruitment and retention
3) Poor development of our halves, considering our coach is a former international half himself
4) Lack of attacking structure
5) Players playing out of position
6) Players not being accountable for poor performance.
7) Coaching Staff not being accountable for poor performance
8) Lack of Junior development
9) Poor Goal kicking
10) The worst general play kicking game in the NRL
11) 6 Straight losses
12) The list goes on
All valid points but just on point 8)the big killer for future league is lack of junior development.
They're still playing junior league using age only as the parameter for grades.

At the end of the day you're going to end up with tall overweight footballers who don't necessarily have a footy brain .

I am trying to wean my boy out of league due to his size and this year have got him to agree to take on soccer as well.. He's only little compared to a lot of the boys and although chances are he'll hit 6ft like his dad I'm not prepared to put him on the field to be cleaned up like a ragdoll.
 

habs

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Good post CK. I think we're a run of the mill club now and not a powerhouse. I'm not even sure we are up there on the hated front anymore.
 

Bob dog

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I thought I had problems.
 

dean_aus

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You the man CK!!!! Agree with everything you've said. We lost two games, one in shocking weather and another by goal kicking (and a try that shouldn't have been allowed). I love the Bulldogs and will never stop. Thanks again for your post!
 
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