Simpsons Quote Thread

[Sherwin_7]

Homer: Here’s to alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all life’s problems.

 

[Sherwin_7]

Homer: Homer no function beer well without.

 

[Sherwin_7]

Homer: Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!

Just a couple I thought of. Haha

 

[K E]

Homer: So I said to him "Look, buddy, your car was already upside down when we got here, and as for your grandmother, she shouldn't have mouthed off like that"
Lisa: Don't you see, Dad, you're abusing your powers like all vigilantes. I mean, if you're the police, who will police the police?
Homer: I don't know. Coastguard?

 

[Sherwin_7]

Homer: So I said to him "Look, buddy, your car was already upside down when we got here, and as for your grandmother, she shouldn't have mouthed off like that"
Lisa: Don't you see, Dad, you're abusing your powers like all vigilantes. I mean, if you're the police, who will police the police?
Homer: I don't know. Coastguard?

Haha. Nice one. Another I thought of.

Krusty: And now, in the spirit of the season, start shopping. And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick kid. For legal purposes, sick kids may include hookers with a cold.

 

[Sherwin_7]

Homer: Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman, and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.

 

[Sherwin_7]

Homer: I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.

 

[K E]

Zzzzzzzzzzzap!

 

[@nchorman]

Abe Simpson: Homer your as dumb as a mule and twice the size...if someone offers you a ride, i say take it!

 

[Moe]

Marge: Oh no, how are the kids going to get home?
Homer: I dunno, internet?

 

[K E]

Barney: Is it alright to come out now, Mr. Gay Man?
Moe: I'll do anything you want. Anything .

 

[Sherwin_7]

Homer: Marge, Bart is wearing a Hawaiin shirt. Only two kinds of people wear that shirt ... gay guys and big fat party animals. Bart doesn't look like a big fat party animal to me.

 

[Sherwin_7]

Homer : Because of them, all the good names like Lance and Julien are all gone. Those were the toughest names we had. Now they are just ... ...
John : Queer?
Homer : And that's another thing. You took that word too. That's the word we use to make fun of you. We need it.

 

[Sherwin_7]

Steel Mill Worker: We work hard, we play hard.
Homer: Has the whole world gone gay? (while steel mill workers are dancing)
Homer: Your all sick. (As they are leaving)
Steel Mill Worker: Ohh be nice.

 

[Sherwin_7]

Zzzzzzzzzzzap!

Hahaha. This one takes the cake. Zzzzzzzzzap!! haha

 

[@nchorman]

a couple of guys alone in the woods...seems kinda gay to me

 

[Sherwin_7]

Homer : Marge, it's 3 a.m. and I worked all day!
Marge : It's 9:30 p.m. and you spent your whole Saturday drinking beer in Maggie's kiddie pool.

 

[Wahesh]

For some weird reason, I can't get enough of this one

 

[Wahesh]

2:05 - Mmm, it's crantastic

 

[The_Chimpster]

I crack up everytime I think of this