Dad jokes

[Bulldog Wrestler]

I sat next to a baby for a 10 hour flight. I didn’t think it was possible for someone to scream for 10 hours straight.

Even the baby was impressed I pulled it off.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

I’m an optimistic pessimist.

I’m positive things will go wrong.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

My gran hates her new stairlift.

She says it drives her up the wall.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system yet?

They looked at the reviews…

Only 1 star.

 

[BlackJackBulldog]

 

[TwinTurbo]

Always a Bulldog

 

[GoblinSlayer]

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

Why aren't Koalas bears?

Because they don't meet the koalafications

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

What did the Ukrainian say to his German friend?

Tanks a lot.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

I just couldn't bring myself to quit my job at the bakery. I was underpaid and the hours were lousy, but...

I needed the bread.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

Having too much sex can cause memory loss.

I read it on page 14 in a medical journal on the 14th November 2019 at 3.19pm.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

I moved into a bungalow recently.

I was going to move into a house, but that’s another storey!

 

[GoblinSlayer]

 

[GoblinSlayer]

 

[GoblinSlayer]

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.

Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

I’ve decided not to renew my prescription glasses.

I’ve seen enough.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

I was sitting on the toilet, angry, and late for work.

I thought, "I don't have time for this shit."

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

One of my good friends told me I make people uncomfortable by violating their personal space.

It was a hurtful thing to say and completely ruined our bath.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

My wife traumatically ripped the blankets off me last night.

But I will recover.