Dad jokes

[Bulldog Wrestler]

A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night.

Oof.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

My wife dropped the laundry basket

She's mad at me because I just stood and watched it all unfold.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

I was in a good mood till I started petting a duckling in the park.

Then I started feeling a little down.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

What does a building wear?

Address

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

My dad farted in an elevator.

It was wrong on so many levels.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

What does the chromosome like to wear?

Genes.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

What’s the best present you can gift?

A broken drum.

Nobody can beat that.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

What do you call Santa without a GPS?

A lost Claus...

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

I asked Santa for a globe for Christmas this year.

It would mean the world to me...

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

My wife said to me that if I got her another stupid gift this Christmas, she would burn it…

So I bought her a candle

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

Have you heard of the blind cyclops brothers?

Neither have eye.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?

It’s Christmas, Eve!

 

[GoblinSlayer]

 

[GoblinSlayer]

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

What's the quickest way to double your money?

Hold it in front of a mirror.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar. The bartender says,

"Sorry, but we do not serve minors".

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

Oxygen and Magnesium went on a date.

Everyone was like “OMg!”.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

What has five toes but isn't your foot?

My foot.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory.

All I did was take a day off!

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

I lost my mood ring and I don't know how I feel about it!