Dad jokes

[Bulldog Wrestler]

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

My son Luke loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters.

My daughter Chewbacca, not so much...

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed?

Everybody.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

I’m constantly screwing up.

Maybe I shouldn’t have taken that job replacing lightbulbs in ceilings.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

What do you call an arrogant criminal climbing down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

I just broke my guitar.

It's okay, I won't fret

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

Do I enjoy making courthouse puns?

Guilty

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

I just found out that my new electric toothbrush is not waterproof.

I was shocked.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"

No sun.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

I figured out why Teslas are so expensive.

It’s because they charge a lot.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

Sorry sir, we don't serve time travelers here.

A time traveler walks into a bar.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

“I bought my wife an electric guitar yesterday”

“A Fender ?”

“No, she loved it...”

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

There’s a constant ticking sound in the street where I live…

I think it could be the neighbourhood watch.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

I’m only into female singers that had hits before 1983.

I’m a pre Madonna

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

I read a book about sponges.

It was really absorbing.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

 

[TwinTurbo]

“I bought my wife an electric guitar yesterday”

“A Fender ?”

“No, she loved it...”

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.
The judge asks her: “First offender?”
She replies: “No. First a Gibson, then a Fender.”

Always a Bulldog