Dad jokes

Bulldog Wrestler

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I failed my driver's test today.

The instructor asked me, “What do you do at a red light?"

I said, “I usually check Twitter and also see what people are up to on Facebook.”
 

Mr 95%

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A woman gets onto a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!”
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says, “There’s no call for that. You go right up there and tell him off. Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
 

Bulldog Wrestler

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My friend was bragging that his 3D printer can print a gun but I wasn’t impressed.

I had a Canon printer for years.
 
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