Dad jokes

[Bulldog Wrestler]

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

 

[BlackJackBulldog]

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

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Almost as bad as being bit on the funnel by a fingerweb spider.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

 

[obe]

What do you call an alcoholic from Russia?

An alcoholich.

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

 

[Grunthos]

Two peanuts were walking around the cross at three in the morning.
One was assaulted...

 

[Grunthos]

What's the difference between a "slut" and a "bitch."
A slut will have sex with everybody.
A bitch is a slut that will have sex with everybody, except me!​

 

[Grunthos]

And then Sister Mary Joseph stumbled
across something called, "Two girls, one cup..?"

 

[Psycho Doggie]

I made two awesome jokes to my wife at the farmers markets this morning.

Passing the mushroom vendor (yes, there is a dude just selling different types of mushroom): hey, we should take him out for a beer, I bet he's a really fungi!

Then a minute later going past the German sausage guy: I'd stay away from that bloke, I hear he's the wurst.

I enjoyed it, anyway...

Welcome to the Dad club

 

[Psycho Doggie]

When I first heard of Pokemon I thought it was a Rastafarian Proctologist

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]

 

[CroydonDog]

Welcome to the Dad club

I thought my timing was brilliant. I'd dare say my own late father would've been proud.

 

[Psycho Doggie]

I thought my timing was brilliant. I'd dare say my own late father would've been proud.

Absolutely, there is a definite feel and flow to it all. We were walking through a certain section of the department store once and I farted, not a screaming fart, but loud enough. My wife turned to me, a horrified look on her face. Without changing expression I slowly raised my arm, finger outstretched, until I was pointing pointedly at the sign reading "Fragrance Section".

 

[Jai81]

Little Johnny walks up to his dad and asks, Daddy, what does a pussy look like?
Johnnys dad replies: before or after sex son?
Ummm, before sex.
Well son have you ever seen a luscious red rose with water dripping of its petals?
oh wow ok, well what about after sex?
Well son, have you ever seen a Bulldog eat Mayonnaise.....

 

[Mr 95%]

Or the Mexican with twin sons…
Jose and Hose B .

Mexican fireman called his two sons!

 

[Bulldog Wrestler]