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Really bad jokes

DinkumDog

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A couple in their 90’s arrive at the pearly gates.

St. Peter was there to greet them and after the standard procedures they were granted entry.

As St. Peter walked them to their new home, he pointed out various activities that happen every day in heaven to let them know there was no shortage of things to do to entertain themselves.

They arrived at the house - a slick house with all the trimmings. The husband said: ‘It looks great but I can’t possibly afford this’. St. Peter says: ‘Sorry if there’s any confusion, but it’s free - no cost to you - you earned it on earth with your hard work, good behaviour, giving to those less fortunate than yourself etc’.

‘Wow’ says the husband - ‘and where would I play golf?’. ‘Follow me’ says St. Peter. They walk and arrive at the finest course the husband has ever seen. ‘Stunning, but no way I could afford the green fees here’. ‘No, you’re misunderstanding’ says St. Peter. ‘It’s free, you earned it on earth. Now, let’s grab some lunch before we finish your first day tour’.

They go into the golf course clubhouse to see the most amazing buffet ever. Before they sit down the husband says ‘And, how much is lunch here?’. St. Peter shakes his head, smiles and says: ‘You’re really not getting it, are you? It’s free, there’s no cost to you for anything here. Enjoy it all - you’ve earned it!’

The husband looks at his wife and says:
‘You and your fucking bran muffins, I could’ve been here ten years ago!’ :-).
 

Shire Dog

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A couple in their 90’s arrive at the pearly gates.

St. Peter was there to greet them and after the standard procedures they were granted entry.

As St. Peter walked them to their new home, he pointed out various activities that happen every day in heaven to let them know there was no shortage of things to do to entertain themselves.

They arrived at the house - a slick house with all the trimmings. The husband said: ‘It looks great but I can’t possibly afford this’. St. Peter says: ‘Sorry if there’s any confusion, but it’s free - no cost to you - you earned it on earth with your hard work, good behaviour, giving to those less fortunate than yourself etc’.

‘Wow’ says the husband - ‘and where would I play golf?’. ‘Follow me’ says St. Peter. They walk and arrive at the finest course the husband has ever seen. ‘Stunning, but no way I could afford the green fees here’. ‘No, you’re misunderstanding’ says St. Peter. ‘It’s free, you earned it on earth. Now, let’s grab some lunch before we finish your first day tour’.

They go into the golf course clubhouse to see the most amazing buffet ever. Before they sit down the husband says ‘And, how much is lunch here?’. St. Peter shakes his head, smiles and says: ‘You’re really not getting it, are you? It’s free, there’s no cost to you for anything here. Enjoy it all - you’ve earned it!’

The husband looks at his wife and says:
‘You and your fucking bran muffins, I could’ve been here ten years ago!’ :-).
I might cancel my gym membership today.
 
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