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south of heaven

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Say to a girl....
Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?
I dont have a Ferrari
 

Wahesh

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Q. I weigh nothing, but you can still see me. If you put me in a bucket, I make the bucket lighter. What am I?
A. A hole!
 

Wahesh

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Q. I am a word that begins with the letter I. If you add the letter A to me, I become a new word with a different meaning, but that sounds exactly the same. What word am I?
A. Isle (add A to make "Aisle")
 

Wahesh

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Q. A prisoner is forced to go into one of three rooms, but he can choose which room. The first room is ablaze with fire. The second one is rigged with explosives that will go off as soon as he enters. The third contains a lions and a buffalo who haven't eaten 3 days. Which room should he choose to survive?

A. The third room — any lions who hadn't eaten in 3 day would eat the buffalo.
 

Wahesh

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Q. How do dog catchers get paid?
A. By the pound!
 

Wahesh

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Q. A man is washing windows on the 25th floor of an apartment building. Suddenly, he slips and falls. He has nothing to cushion his fall, and no safety equipment—but he doesn't get hurt. How is this possible?
A. He's washing windows inside the building.
 

Wahesh

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Q. What rock group consists of four famous men, but none of them sing?
A. The faces on Mount Rushmore!
 

Wahesh

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Q. I have hundreds of wheels, but move, I do not. Call me what I am. Call me a lot. What am I?
A. A parking garage (lot).
 

Wahesh

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Q. What question can you never answer "Yes" to?
A. What does "N-O" spell?
 

Wahesh

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Q. What has hundreds of ears but can't hear a thing?
A. A cornfield!
 

Wahesh

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Q. What do scientists use to freshen their breath?
A. Experi-mints!
 

Wahesh

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Q: Why didn't the zombie go to school?
A: He felt rotten!
 

Wahesh

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A Priest, a Rabbi and a Sheik walk into a bar. The bartender gives them all a dirty look and says "Is this some kind of joke?"
 

Wahesh

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A man is sent to a different city for a business trip for 1 week. The weekend arrives and the man is sitting in the hotel room bored. He looks through the newspaper at a XXX service. He rings the number and speaks to a girl and asks her if she's good. "I'm the best there is" she said to him. So they arrange for an evening and he goes over to her apartment. She says "What can I do for you?" and he replies "I want a BJ!" and the girl tell him it will cost him $500. He said that's a bit steep for a BJ. She asks him to walk over to her window and points outside "See that Cadillac outside? I paid outright cash for that by giving BJs" so the man pays her and receives the best BJ he's ever had.

A few months later, the man is sent back to that city on business. He calls the same girl and arranges another evening with her. "What'll it be this time?" she asks him. "I want give it to you in your exhaust pipe" to which she quotes him $1000. He complains saying that's twice as much as the BJ. She then asks him to walk over to her window. "See that terrace across the road over there? I bought that outright with cash for this service you're asking for" and just like last time, the man knew he would be getting a good service for his money so he agreed and made the most of it.

Some months later, the man is again sent to the city on business. He calls the same girl and arranges another evening with her. "What can I do for you this time?" she asks him. "I want your box" the man replied. The woman walks over to her window and asks him to walk over. She points outside and says "See those Victorian houses all the way down the street and the Victorians across the road?" "Yes" the man replied with his tongue hanging out to which the lady then said "I would own all of them if I had a box!"
 
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belmore_utd

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Booo @Wahesh lol terrible son just terrible

Hear about the blind man that got a cheese grater for christmas? He thought it was the most violent book he's ever read.
 

Wahesh

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Booo @Wahesh lol terrible son just terrible

Hear about the blind man that got a cheese grater for christmas? He thought it was the most violent book he's ever read.
:tearsofjoy::tearsofjoy::tearsofjoy:

Not bad... but you thought mine was lame ;)
 

belmore_utd

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Btw did you hear about the ethopian who fell into an alligator pit? He ate 4 of the bastards before they could get him out
 
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