Pick Up Lines

Bazildog

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“Hey, there’s a bukake party at my place, do you wanna come..?”
 

Blue_boost

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Big brother is on at 11

Why did they let an old hag on there?
 

Blue_boost

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I got picked up once on the gold coast.. walked out of shooters at 3am.. smashed off my face. Some girl is just walking the same way. She says how's your night.. I said tired, sore, I need a massage ... She says I'll give you a massage... A few words later and her friends urged her to go... we are walking to my hotel. I promise that I just turned around to shut the door and turned back around and she was standing there nude. I said what about my massage? She says you don't want a massage.. I made her have a shower first I did her for hours, sun was up when we stopped.
 

Blue_boost

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Another girl at tank nightclub come up to me, a hottie and she had a fat friend. The fat friend says to me, can you completely f&@k my friend, she has a dickhead boyfriend who is a little twig, she needs to be f@&ked by a real man. Amazing , the fatty sat there watching whilst we did it, taped it for the boyfriend.
 

Blue_boost

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I saw a girl sitting there in a bar and some guy was hitting on her.. real pathetic, he was trying to arm wrestle her,she looked over and rolled her eyes. She told him to rack off..

I walked over and started talking to her.. asked how his performance was, she laughed and we poker fun at him. I told her I sprained an ankle and couldn't get up to dance. She said she was a nurse and I could go back to her house and she would strap me up.. I went to her place, my ankle was fine but I had a quick shower and she strapped up my ankle. I then had sex with her and went back to my hotel.. my mates asked why my ankle was strapped up.. I told em and they had a good laugh, my ankle was just fine thanks!!
 

Blue_boost

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One time at tank, a girl purposely dropped her drink on my pants. They were drenched.. she was all apologetic. She said if I went back to her hotel she would dry them for me.. she dried them for me alright whilst I slept with her.
 

DinkumDog

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I got picked up once on the gold coast.. walked out of shooters at 3am.. smashed off my face. Some girl is just walking the same way. She says how's your night.. I said tired, sore, I need a massage ... She says I'll give you a massage... A few words later and her friends urged her to go... we are walking to my hotel. I promise that I just turned around to shut the door and turned back around and she was standing there nude. I said what about my massage? She says you don't want a massage.. I made her have a shower first I did her for hours, sun was up when we stopped.
Classy bird.
You must be one good lookin’ rooster Boost :-).
 

Bazildog

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I got picked up once on the gold coast.. walked out of shooters at 3am.. smashed off my face. Some girl is just walking the same way. She says how's your night.. I said tired, sore, I need a massage ... She says I'll give you a massage... A few words later and her friends urged her to go... we are walking to my hotel. I promise that I just turned around to shut the door and turned back around and she was standing there nude. I said what about my massage? She says you don't want a massage.. I made her have a shower first I did her for hours, sun was up when we stopped.
hahahahaha... you are one of those guys that sent in the story’s to Penthouse magazine we all hoped was real...

But we all know better eh..?
 

Alan79

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hahahahaha... you are one of those guys that sent in the story’s to Penthouse magazine we all hoped was real...

But we all know better eh..?
I had to look at ignored users to see what you and DD were replying to. But those stories do remind me of those stories. Surprised that there aren't stories about women admiring his well kept Camry parked on his mowed lawn inspiring orgies where he was the only guy in 4 ways. "so I said yeah I don't rent, you think my Camry is impressive you should see the size of my TV and the prawns I supply to guests at BBQ's" The 3 women totally dropped their clothes on the lawn on the way into my house.
 

Tassie Devil

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Pretty simple from my side:

"Hello, my name is .... (insert my name)"

They're in my bed within minutes.

Works every time.
 

Blue_boost

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I had to look at ignored users to see what you and DD were replying to. But those stories do remind me of those stories. Surprised that there aren't stories about women admiring his well kept Camry parked on his mowed lawn inspiring orgies where he was the only guy in 4 ways. "so I said yeah I don't rent, you think my Camry is impressive you should see the size of my TV and the prawns I supply to guests at BBQ's" The 3 women totally dropped their clothes on the lawn on the way into my house.
Take me off your ignored list @Alan79 , just because I've debunked most of your theories. I still enjoy your posts
 
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Blue_boost

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hahahahaha... you are one of those guys that sent in the story’s to Penthouse magazine we all hoped was real...

But we all know better eh..?
All true. Here's another...

On gold coast, A mate of mine was in toilet and said he run out of toilet paper. Asked me to go get some . I knocked on the door of a group of girls i met earlier. They were in same hotel.. I ask the girl you got any spare toilet paper, she laughs and said , your not here for toilet paper. She lets me in, we go to the bedroom and I was on top of her going for it.. her friend walks in and was just casually chatting.. I was thinking? Does she want to join in? I didn't say anything as I thought "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush". so didn't say anything... Her friend watched for a while but left. I asked the girl , what was with your friend? She said year she wanted to join in but wasn't sure if you wanted it?? She said she was bi and they were both sort of together .. I'd missed out on a threesome!! I was gutted.

Anyway I went back to my hotel maybe 40 mins later.. I walk in and my mate says, you got the toilet paper? Oh shit, I went back and actually asked her for a role of toilet paper. I was legit.

So my pick up lines was you got any toilet paper.
 

Blue_boost

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And another.... I was on hold coast.. slept in after a big night out . I woke up and there was this girl on my bed I'd never met. She said she was let in by my mates and her friends were with my friends..

She starts massaging my neck, she was so good I felt like I could spin my head right round. Anyhow I ended up sleeping with her,. She dig her claws into my arse and back, massive scratch marks..

Same girl comes back same night whilst I was getting ready to go out.. my mates walk Into the bathroom and I'm in the shower and she is on her knees :grinning:

Her friend was even better.. she used to knock at the door each morning, give my mate a good morning blow and grabbed a glass of Fanta and left.. nothing else.. I complained about how much Fanta she drank.

Who wants another.. I went out to grab a box of beer......
 

N4TE

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And another.... I was on hold coast.. slept in after a big night out . I woke up and there was this girl on my bed I'd never met. She said she was let in by my mates and her friends were with my friends..

She starts massaging my neck, she was so good I felt like I could spin my head right round. Anyhow I ended up sleeping with her,. She dig her claws into my arse and back, massive scratch marks..

Same girl comes back same night whilst I was getting ready to go out.. my mates walk Into the bathroom and I'm in the shower and she is on her knees :grinning:

Her friend was even better.. she used to knock at the door each morning, give my mate a good morning blow and grabbed a glass of Fanta and left.. nothing else.. I complained about how much Fanta she drank.

Who wants another.. I went out to grab a box of beer......
I want a real story that we can all relate to. I got talking to this girl a hot brunette she seemed into it asked if I could buy her and her friend a drink. I knew what that meant she was going to rort me for a free drink then tell me to fuck off loser so I bought her and her friend a drink.
 
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