Opinions Please

[Mr 95%]

Well then sharing is caring and I'll jump in the middle of it.

Wow... just a thought... how hot would it be being the salami between a 2 woman fighting sandwich???

A salami sandwich with Asian and Indian spice added.. Whoa that’d be explosive!

 

[Wahesh]

Shit. FFS. Really? You know what just happened?

A HOT BLONDE WITH A SEXY POMMY ACCENT (the posh, elegant Pommy accent) JUST CAME OVER TO ME TO CHECK MY LAPTOP'S SERIAL NUMBER AND NOW I NEED IT TO BE REPLACED! FFS I CAN'T HANDLE ANYMORE HEAT TODAY, I'M LOSING MY $}{!t...

 

[Mr Invisible]

Another option to court an Asian chick. Turn into an octopus and use your tentacles to woo her!

Shit. FFS. Really? You know what just happened?

A HOT BLONDE WITH A SEXY POMMY ACCENT (the posh, elegant Pommy accent) JUST CAME OVER MY LAPTOP AND NOW I NEED IT TO BE REPLACED! FFS I CAN'T HANDLE ANYMORE HEAT TODAY, I'M LOSING MY $}{!t...

Fixed that for you!

Southy..should I dare to ask..why not! Southy how did you court Mrs Southy?

@south of heaven .... @Mr 95% raises an interesting question. Creative embelishment not just allowed but encouraged.

 

[Wahesh]

Fixed that for you!

You know you have a gift if killing the mood in here bro LMAO.

 

[BELMORE]

Why don't you read the first sentence again?? Here I'll help you out...

Ok my friends, these long, boring summer days are continuing this off season so let's change the pace a little - for entertainment purposes

Still weird no matter what you preface it with.

 

[CrittaMagic69]

Do you have access to good Asian porn without the censorship?!!

 

[south of heaven]

Southy..should I dare to ask..why not! Southy how did you court Mrs Southy?

The only angle i got cut them down, then make em laugh then tell them whatever lie they want to hear .

 

[Alan79]

You need to learn the FIO technique. Yell "ouch something's biting me" followed by downing the dacks and flopping it out. It may not end well, bit if your cards fall the right way you've taken steps towards the goal or alternatively recieved confirmation that the goal is not attainable.

 

[Mr 95%]

The only angle i got cut them down, then make em laugh then tell them whatever lie they want to hear .

Sounds like everyone of your posts in the Kennel.. No wonder we love you..lol!

 

[Captain Kickass]

(A) How do I add this woman on a form of social media with an accompanying note stating how I found her profile without knowing her name?

RED FLAG !!! - Men CANNOT and SHOULD NOT do this for a multitude of reasons !!!

(B) How do I convince this woman, the Goddess sent to me directly from Shanghai, to leave her lovely, loyal boyfriend, and get with an Arab man who cannot satisfy her in anyway, shape or form?

In a way, I pity you guys these days. It's not easy finding love. Back in the day your Uncle CK was blessed with good looks and charm which opened a lot of doors. Without internet you had to step up your conversation game. But the rules of yesteryear are gone out the window, and what used to be tolerated may wind up getting you arrested these days. A lot of what I used to get away with wont fly in 2019.

Brother - It is simply NOT socially acceptable for you to approach her online or using work channels. She'll go away feeling threatened or worse 'scared'. She'll wonder about what your true intentions are, and/or create anxiety about when you might return. Without you being there to answer the questions directly, she'll fill in the gaps about what you were trying to do and if she feels in the last bit uncomfortable about what you're doing, nek minnit your HR department is handing you your marching orders.

Accept these facts as truth : In your circumstance, you're in a bad spot with few viable choices available.

There is a very, very, very slim window of hope for you ... If this is gonna happen at all, it MUST be organic. You can't force it. And you need to be self-aware so you drop it like a hot potato at the first sign off resistance. Fuck it up, and you're THAT GUY among her whole office and circle of friends.

(a) This is marathon, not a race - It starts with crossing paths externally in daily life (ie: food courts/shops for lunches, niteclubs you both happen to attend, a shared gym, etc, etc). Then you can act dumb and the chat can be about "Where do I know you from ? Ahh yes, you're from that bank ! It's good to see you again." ... BAM, door is open. After that (and only after that), you can go back to work and try to facilitate a second work related encounter. Hopefully, she'll remember you. If she does, the next part of the plan is ...

(b) Go old school. Be polite and write her a small note ! ..... Include your contacts. Don't ask for hers.

The note should have a certain tone about it that says "Hey there, I don't want to intrude and hit you up for your deets at work, so I figured I'd give you mine. I find you intriguing and if you're ever free for lunch, or if you wanna hit me up in my DM's, I think we could have some laughs together. If not, that's perfectly OK too. All the best - Wahesh".

Finally - It's probably for the best that you simply let her go. I could write 5000 words on the topic but in short, this idea that you'll somehow be complete when you meet the right girl is Hollywood Horseshit. For decades men have been sold the idea that bold displays of affection will sweep a girl of their feet and everybody will live happily ever after. This is WRONG. Fucking movies and TV have been lying to us for too long.

The reverse is actually true. Work on yourself. Make yourself happy. Get your shit together. Create a lifestyle that involves you investing in your own happiness without the need for a woman. Before you know it, they'll start to notice YOU as a capable type who always smiles and seems to have the world by the balls.

 

[Mr Invisible]

Back in the day your Uncle CK was blessed with good looks and charm which opened a lot of doors.

I can also attest first hand that Uncle CK was responsible for dropping a LOT of panties one day.... that's how herculean his looks and frame was.

It was like Thor and Posiedon had made a beautiful baby.

 

[Bob dog]

Put her in your favorites list, wait for the right time, be honest, sincere, funny and genuine.
If it doesn't happen straight away work off her reaction to your hints.

 

[Wahesh]

RED FLAG !!! - Men CANNOT and SHOULD NOT do this for a multitude of reasons !!!

In a way, I pity you guys these days. It's not easy finding love. Back in the day your Uncle CK was blessed with good looks and charm which opened a lot of doors. Without internet you had to step up your conversation game. But the rules of yesteryear are gone out the window, and what used to be tolerated may wind up getting you arrested these days. A lot of what I used to get away with wont fly in 2019.

Brother - It is simply NOT socially acceptable for you to approach her online or using work channels. She'll go away feeling threatened or worse 'scared'. She'll wonder about what your true intentions are, and/or create anxiety about when you might return. Without you being there to answer the questions directly, she'll fill in the gaps about what you were trying to do and if she feels in the last bit uncomfortable about what you're doing, nek minnit your HR department is handing you your marching orders.

Accept these facts as truth : In your circumstance, you're in a bad spot with few viable choices available.

There is a very, very, very slim window of hope for you ... If this is gonna happen at all, it MUST be organic. You can't force it. And you need to be self-aware so you drop it like a hot potato at the first sign off resistance. Fuck it up, and you're THAT GUY among her whole office and circle of friends.

(a) This is marathon, not a race - It starts with crossing paths externally in daily life (ie: food courts/shops for lunches, niteclubs you both happen to attend, a shared gym, etc, etc). Then you can act dumb and the chat can be about "Where do I know you from ? Ahh yes, you're from that bank ! It's good to see you again." ... BAM, door is open. After that (and only after that), you can go back to work and try to facilitate a second work related encounter. Hopefully, she'll remember you. If she does, the next part of the plan is ...

(b) Go old school. Be polite and write her a small note ! ..... Include your contacts. Don't ask for hers.

The note should have a certain tone about it that says "Hey there, I don't want to intrude and hit you up for your deets at work, so I figured I'd give you mine. I find you intriguing and if you're ever free for lunch, or if you wanna hit me up in my DM's, I think we could have some laughs together. If not, that's perfectly OK too. All the best - Wahesh".

Finally - It's probably for the best that you simply let her go. I could write 5000 words on the topic but in short, this idea that you'll somehow be complete when you meet the right girl is Hollywood Horseshit. For decades men have been sold the idea that bold displays of affection will sweep a girl of their feet and everybody will live happily ever after. This is WRONG. Fucking movies and TV have been lying to us for too long.

The reverse is actually true. Work on yourself. Make yourself happy. Get your shit together. Create a lifestyle that involves you investing in your own happiness without the need for a woman. Before you know it, they'll start to notice YOU as a capable type who always smiles and seems to have the world by the balls.

*Wipes tear away from eye*

CK that was beautiful brother. You see, all the other guys did was tell me their 2 cents, but you actually gave me good advice on how to actually woo the girl. In all his postings on this forum, @Nasheed did not even give me a fraction of the advice you did in one posting, so sir, my hat goes off to you.

Now I need to clarify a few things with other posters within this thread before we proceed, and that's the this woman works at the bank. I work in an office that is not in anyway affiliated with this bank. I simply needed to get something from the bank which my company deemed as appropriate for some kind of identification shit or something... I really have no idea. I just gave her my drivers license and that was it.

I DO NOT work with this girl, and after today, the chance of me and her seeing each other again is almost zero as this wonderful diverse city of ours has over 5,000,000 residents... so I don't want people thinking my HR department will be involved because the woman in question is not physically able to walk into my building without the aged security guards escorting her out when they realise that she does not have an access pass.

So my friends, all of you, rest assured, Wahesh is NOT a Jahesh in the sense of jumping on every hot chick he meets in the workplace. If anything, I usually 'connect' with people on social media either after I've left the business or if they've left the business as a means of staying in contact with them - so my friends... I'm cool. I'm sure @Mr Invisible is please with this news.

As for @Captain Kickass - you sir have my vote for quote of the year. The Kennel Awards should be brought back specifically for your post uncle brother

 

[ALX25]

I don't visit Sydney often, but aren't there many Asian women there?

 

[Wahesh]

I don't visit Sydney often, but aren't there many Asian women there?

Yes but the high-quality ones are sporadic. My previous job was a farm for them though... there were 5 working in the office at any given stage. It's about to be 2 very shortly though, everyone is moving on.

 

[The DoggFather]

Bro, just flop it out and say "forget about your spring roll at home and have some spicy Lebanese sausage".

Simple.

 

[Mr Invisible]

1. Tell them you are gay, act that way. Like that plastic bloke you know on Instagram.
2. Coax into a false sense of security.
3. Come out as straight.

Genius!

 

[Wahesh]

Bro, just flop it out and say "forget about your spring roll at home and have some spicy Lebanese sausage".

Simple.

Well I'm not sure if she can handle the sujuk as well as the Indian one but it's worth trying

 

[Wahesh]

1. Tell them you are gay, act that way. Like that plastic bloke you know on Instagram.
2. Coax into a false sense of security.
3. Come out as straight.

Genius!

There's only one problem with that. There actually is a gay man in the office - and he's as gay as they get, from his voice right down to the hand-flop thing they do. I reckon he'll immediately pick up that I'm not one of 'them' and tell everybody else. That'll put me on the outer with all the women here.

Speaking of all the women here... there are no good sorts here that are of the non-Asian variety

 

[Mr 95%]

Bro, just flop it out and say "forget about your spring roll at home and have some spicy Lebanese sausage".

Simple.

Bahahaha.. But what happens if it is a small
makanek sausage?