Office Stories
- Thread starter Wahesh
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Mr Invisible
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Oh come on ... if you are going to create a thread like this, you need to have the first kick!
Me and co workers were chatting then the discussion of Hilary v trump came up lol.
I said I'd vote for trump and a feminist/vegan/Jewish/lesbian got triggered so badly. I can't believe you, you better be joking, I saw you as a smart person, how can you like trump? I'm like coz he's not a political correct faggot. I don't agree with female privaledge, myths stated as facts like the gender pay gap. And she kept getting triggered even further. She's like that's it don't talk to me. It got very heated and everyone was scared to join in lol.
I said I'd vote for trump and a feminist/vegan/Jewish/lesbian got triggered so badly. I can't believe you, you better be joking, I saw you as a smart person, how can you like trump? I'm like coz he's not a political correct faggot. I don't agree with female privaledge, myths stated as facts like the gender pay gap. And she kept getting triggered even further. She's like that's it don't talk to me. It got very heated and everyone was scared to join in lol.
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I dont have an office i sit on a milkcrate for smoko
Wahesh
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Ok fair enough.
So in one of my old roles, there was a lot of tension in the air. We were going through a massive restructure and everyone had to apply for their jobs. My boss at the time was one of them. So he applied for his job, went for the interview, and was told he was not successful. The job advertisement then went to market. He again applied, submitted the same application, and again was called in for an interview.
Now at this point, he totally had the shits with the company and wanted to leave/lose his job so he could get a payout.
He turned up to the interview and as he sat down he said to the panel "So are we going to go through the same things we went through last time or what?" pretty much catching everyone there by surprise. Non of them were expecting that.
So he went through the interview process and nailed it pretty well - he improved in the areas they said he didn't do too well in last time. After the bulk of the interview was over, they said the usual "Do you have any questions for us?" and he replied "Yeah... did I get the job?" - just straight out lol. Obviously they didn't know what to say. He didn't want the job, he wanted to get fired, he pretty much got his wish.
Wahesh
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There’s this other one I recall. Now not exactly in an office but for a business. When someone says Harvey Norman, you usually think the retail store selling electronics, perhaps even furniture and bedding. Not many people know that they also do home renovations – kitchens, bathrooms etc…
So one day the contractors went to a site for a job to renovate a bathroom in a classy eastern suburbs apartment block. The couple who owned the apartment didn’t have any children in the house, only a maid who didn’t speak English. So both of them went off to work one day. The contractors arrived at the apartment – 1A – and knocked on the door. The maid answered and let them in. They told her who they were and what they were there to do. She didn’t understand English so she just let them do whatever they were there for. They went to the bathroom and noticed that it wasn’t new, but it wasn’t old either. Certainly nothing that needed renovating. They rang their boss to tell him about it, but he was at a funeral and wouldn’t hear of it. He just told them that it’s the job and told them to do it.
So… they began. Tearing out the vanity, knocking out the tiles, pulling the bath tub and toilets out along with the shower and racks. Everything was going smoothly. There was only one problem. They were meant to be doing this work next door… in apartment 1B.
The couple come home from work that night and… WHAT.THE.ACTUAL.FUCK! There’s no bathroom!
They told the maid and she communicated with them whatever little information she was able to obtain. They found out it was Harvey Norman who did it and rang them up demanding and explanation and threatened suing them.
HN said that it was a big misunderstanding but they’ll make it up to them. They’ll send them to Europe for a 4 week holiday fully paid for. On top of this, $20,000 spending money to enjoy the holiday and when they come back home they’ll have a brand new bathroom that would’ve cost them absolutely nothing.
Their only request is that they didn’t go to the media about it!
So one day the contractors went to a site for a job to renovate a bathroom in a classy eastern suburbs apartment block. The couple who owned the apartment didn’t have any children in the house, only a maid who didn’t speak English. So both of them went off to work one day. The contractors arrived at the apartment – 1A – and knocked on the door. The maid answered and let them in. They told her who they were and what they were there to do. She didn’t understand English so she just let them do whatever they were there for. They went to the bathroom and noticed that it wasn’t new, but it wasn’t old either. Certainly nothing that needed renovating. They rang their boss to tell him about it, but he was at a funeral and wouldn’t hear of it. He just told them that it’s the job and told them to do it.
So… they began. Tearing out the vanity, knocking out the tiles, pulling the bath tub and toilets out along with the shower and racks. Everything was going smoothly. There was only one problem. They were meant to be doing this work next door… in apartment 1B.
The couple come home from work that night and… WHAT.THE.ACTUAL.FUCK! There’s no bathroom!
They told the maid and she communicated with them whatever little information she was able to obtain. They found out it was Harvey Norman who did it and rang them up demanding and explanation and threatened suing them.
HN said that it was a big misunderstanding but they’ll make it up to them. They’ll send them to Europe for a 4 week holiday fully paid for. On top of this, $20,000 spending money to enjoy the holiday and when they come back home they’ll have a brand new bathroom that would’ve cost them absolutely nothing.
Their only request is that they didn’t go to the media about it!
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Bad Billy
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Fuck.
I hope Harvey Norman fuck up and rip out my bathroom.
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Lol yeah oh harvey norman im extremely distraught for giving me a new bathroom. Put this in my lounge room and we will call it even.
Bad Billy
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Only one sub ??
They're only sending you to Europe. The least they could do is hook you up with a 5.2 as well ??
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2!!!!!!! I want fucking 4 lol
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Add this also
Mr Invisible
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No ATMOS ... NO DICE!!
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Here's an office story. Last week all the techs were on leave so the General Manager asked me if I could run a fire test on the Saturday. Said he'd pay me $200 for however long it took. Went there and pumped it out in 2 hours. Spent most of the time running laps up and down stairs then drinking coffee and cracking jokes with the tradies.
On the way home I dropped in to Vinnies just as they're putting out some nice looking Jamo speakers including two large front speakers, two large rear speakers, a decent centre speaker and a nice sized Sub. Asked how much he wanted for it and he said $260. I know Jamo's are decent so I thought "Fuck it, alright". Get home, start hooking it up, before I power it up I decide to look it up online. Turns out all speakers as a unit have an RRP of $4,500, but they replaced the small surround speakers with two extra floor standing speakers that bumps the price up to around $5,500. Hooked it all up and it sounds friggin' excellent.
Dropped back into the same Vinnies today and found a Yamaha CD changer for $30. Usually costs about $220. Get home, plug it in, chuck some CDs in and the thing refuses to work. Powers up but every time it tries to read a CD it just refuses then opens to drawer and dumps the CDs. Took 2 minutes to take the thing apart and clean the chunks of dust out and now it works like a charm and sounds amazing.
That's my office story. When I'm actually in the office now days I know longer have time to do anything, hence why I'm on the Kennel a lot less now days and haven't had much time for Battlefield. I'm flat out in the office then when I get home I have to keep working until about 10pm, and I only get paid for the business hours, not for the home work. So I make sure I take a good 2 hour lunch break when I need it. Spend $30 on a huge burger and call it a "business meeting" so I can claim it as a business expense.
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Wahesh
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Well I got a dilemma I'm kinda facing - maybe you can help me with it. It's about office hotties.
So... the office hottie here is going on leave for 4 weeks, meaning I'll need to check out someone else, and I've narrowed it down to 3 possible candidates:
Candidate #1
Pros: She has a nice petite figure, nice blonde hair (I'm generally a brunette guy but this girl pulls the blonde look off well), and she's all around pretty cute.
Cons: Her accent! The Irish accent is too thick on girls and turns me off
Candidate #2
Pros: Beautiful curvy figure, nice tanned complexion, softly spoken and model-like face. She's not like those typical Indian girls who are very skinny and have hair up to their waists, she's more modern, as mentioned curvy, long, but not overly long hair. You know how a lot of people say they’ll never get with someone from a certain race for whatever reason, it’s like that with me and Indians, however, there will always be THAT ONE PERSON who will be an exception. She is that one person
Cons: Regardless of the last pro, she's Indian
Candidate #2
Pros: This one is not bad. She has a nice cute face, big (but not overly big) butt, nice personality and very feminine. I mean she’s pretty cool.
Cons: A large tat on her foot. And I mean it’s a pretty thick one too. Even though it’s all the way down there, it stick out. Argh!
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I'm a busy man. I don't have the thyme for jokes like this.
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Well I got a dilemma I'm kinda facing - maybe you can help me with it. It's about office hotties.
So... the office hottie here is going on leave for 4 weeks, meaning I'll need to check out someone else, and I've narrowed it down to 3 possible candidates:
Candidate #1
Pros: She has a nice petite figure, nice blonde hair (I'm generally a brunette guy but this girl pulls the blonde look off well), and she's all around pretty cute.
Cons: Her accent! The Irish accent is too thick on girls and turns me off
Candidate #2
Pros: Beautiful curvy figure, nice tanned complexion, softly spoken and model-like face. She's not like those typical Indian girls who are very skinny and have hair up to their waists, she's more modern, as mentioned curvy, long, but not overly long hair. You know how a lot of people say they’ll never get with someone from a certain race for whatever reason, it’s like that with me and Indians, however, there will always be THAT ONE PERSON who will be an exception. She is that one person
Cons: Regardless of the last pro, she's Indian
Candidate #2
Pros: This one is not bad. She has a nice cute face, big (but not overly big) butt, nice personality and very feminine. I mean she’s pretty cool.
Cons: A large tat on her foot. And I mean it’s a pretty thick one too. Even though it’s all the way down there, it stick out. Argh!
its quiet easy for me:
biggest tits wins!
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lol, ok Mike Tyson.