Lame Joke III

[Wahesh]

Why
Women Lie


One
day when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble
fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, 'My
dear child, why are you crying?' The seamstress replied that her thimble had
fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a
living for their family. The Lord dipped his hand into the water and pulled
up a golden thimble set with sapphires.

'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked The seamstress replied, 'No.'



The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded
with rubies.

'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, 'No.'




The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble.

'Is this your thimble ?' the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, 'Yes' The Lord
was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep,
and the seamstress went home happy.







Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the
riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the
water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, 'Why are
you crying?' 'Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!'



The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. 'Is this
your husband?' the Lord asked.

'Yes,' cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious. 'You lied! That is an
untruth!' The seamstress replied, 'Oh, forgive me, my Lord It is a
misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would
have come up with Brad Pitt.

Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I
then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best
of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S
why I said 'yes' to George Clooney. And
so the Lord let her keep him.







The moral of this story is:



Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best
interest of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it.

Signed, All
Of Us
Women, Amen

 

[Hacky McAxe]

Seven years later and no one said:

"What did the man say when he walked into the bar?"

"Ouch"

 

[Hacky McAxe]

Also, Wahesh just confirmed that he's a woman

 

[Wahesh]

Also, Wahesh just confirmed that he's a woman

Or I can copy and paste old emails

 

[Vlasnik]

 

[Wahesh]

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me — it was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her “little” sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word.

She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.”

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door.

I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, “We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.”

And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.

 

[Wahesh]

Q: What is so special about the following sequence of numbers?

8, 5, 4, 1, 7, 6, 10, 3, 2?

A: They are in alphabetical order!

Eight, Five, Four, One, Seven, Six, Ten, Three, Two.

 

[Moedogg]

What did Martin Luther King say to Jarryd Hayne ?

Answer: Fuck you and your dreams...

The End...